Spring

Yes I love Photography

2011-11-02T10:34:00.000-07:00

When I have my camera in my hand I feel powerful. I feel exhilarated, and I'm looking at the world in my favorite way. I feel the most like me. Sunday was a day most magnificent, we took a drive up the winding canyon road, and spent the afternoon completely absorbed in shooting the most beautiful Fall scenery.

Henry David Thoreau was an American author, philosopher, poet extraordinaire, famous for writing pieces like his masterful "Walden", a reflection piece on the natural and simple things. Anyways, Thoreau once said: "The question is not what you look at but what you see."

This quote is so simple, but leaves me thinking about the bigger picture (ohh good one Spring, the bigger picture and you're talking about photography, accidental folks.). This is speaking of something entirely natural. Can we train ourselves to see specific things? Yes. Can we alter our views and learn to see things in a new way? Yes. Do we at times block out what is really there and focus on what we already think we see? Yes. This pertains to so much more- character, judgement, human nature, class, etc. Sometimes when we look at something we already have an opinion formed, and there is no room for change, we forget to really look and see what is there. This happens in regards to people most commonly. We form our opinion of that soul, and no matter how much time passes, we only focus on what we think is there. This scares me because I hate when people think they know exactly who I am, my ins and outs, my quirks and habits, and while I certainly have those, I change often. We all do really, and this is refreshing! Never do I want to be the same bland person, I want to constantly be learning new things that ignite new thoughts which make me grow.

Anyways, before the 3 AM ramblings get too out of control, here are a few of my favorite photos. I have a folder of literally 50, so I'll just randomly add a few as to not bore you and bog you down in random art. Some I love because they do a great job of speaking volumes, even in their simplicity. Others are here because they are of my favorite people. Enjoy...

If you can't tell, this is Audrey Hepburn. While I look up to her because she was brilliantly classy and poised, this is the most natural her. Away from the glitz and the glamour that is "Breakfast At Tiffany's". This is her later in life, having accomplished much and suffered greatly, and she just looks comfortable, and wise.

This is my prized possession. If you were to lock me in a room with this, my camera, a notebook, my photos, and a few of my dearest, I could be content for years. This piano is mine, passed down from the legend that is my Grandma Ruby Leavitt. I treasure every single memory I have of my Grandma. She was witty, she was clever, she was classy, she was wise, and she had a remarkable passion for life and for music.

You know who. Before they made it big and were rebelling and rewriting the musical world.

My brother, Chancho, is an artist. When he was in ninth grade he did a poster sized dot art of this guy, I began researching to find out who he was, and what was so great about him. Che Guevara represents adventure, service, revolution, change, and brilliance really. He was executed while fighting with all he had, and anyone who is willing to do that has me impressed.

This is a photo of my brother Spencer's grave, the first time I visited it. I have talked about this before and do not need to say anymore, but Superman is fitting for Spence.

My brother Brian took this, and it instantly became one of my favorite photos. Not only is it an exceptional photo, but that bridge holds buckets of memories for our family. This is the famous money bridge, you cannot visit it without mysteriously finding a few coins, and even a couple of bills on occasion!

Ohhhhh Johnny, you perplexed bad ass you, I'll always love Johnny, another love passed on from sibilings who were naturally awesome and who taught me to appreciate good things, Johnny being one of them. I love this photo, representing defiance and attitude, thank you Johnny.

Taken in my favorite pub in London on a very good day.

Taken in Belgium, on what was one of the most whimsical, content days I will ever have on this Earth. It looks like a fairy tale.

This photo has led millions of tourists to risk their lives, so I feel it must be an inspiring shot. Ohhhh Abbey Road.

I fully acknowledge the random collection that this is, just embrace it.

Just a bit of silly rambling really.

2011-10-27T22:24:00.000-07:00

Toddler's and Tiaras is on tv and it is making me queasy. These Moms are beyond bizarre. Spending their days obsessing over frilly miniature sized pageant gowns, while forcing their seven year olds (or younger) to get a spray tan and go through traumatic eyebrow waxing. Perhaps I cannot fathom these rituals because I did not get eyebrows until I was eighteen years old, but that is beside the point, people. When I was seven years old the most important things on my mind were which matching outfit Julia and I would wear to school the next day, if I wanted Shreddies or Cheerios for breakfast, and how I was going to convince Peter to let me stay outside for seven consecutive hours instead of five. Ohhhh the simple life. Perhaps I find these tiara clad seven year olds so creepy because I have never had the desire to be anything like this. I've never had the desire to be grouped into any category. People work so hard to classify themselves as this or that, a Jackie or a Marilyn, if you were to ask me which I am I would tell you to take your label and... you know. I am neither; I have developed my own style. Sometimes I wear head to toe J-Crew, and the next day I might not wear pants with vans and a fedora. Does this mean I don't know who I am? Nooooo! Quite the contrary really, I know exactly who I am and I am sooo content with that person. Instead of working towards morphing myself into a specific category, I have a desire to fill my mind with new things. I want to be spontaneous and smart. I want to exist in this world as a person who is strong, who knows what she wants; is determined and is content with her weaknesses. I will be poised and classy, but you better believe I have an opinion. I eat a quarter of a cup of wheat, rye, and flax mixed with three quarters of a cup of water for breakfast every morning at eight o'clock, but sometimes I sleep until 11:17 and eat fruit snacks instead. This makes me grin and feel accomplished. Does that sound bizarre? I hope so. I am not going to submit to one specific path, not today or ever. Sure I have set beliefs, my world would be complete mayhem if I did not, but I take those beliefs and run with it. At times I am impulsive, but I'm no flake.

Draft

2011-10-19T17:23:00.000-07:00

It was late, and now it is early, and my backspace key is still getting more attention than all the others put together. I have fifteen drafts lingering here. Fifteen drafts waiting to be published. Posts about music, Charles Dickens, Gary, public washrooms, my childhood best friend, class, Audrey Hepburn, global positioning systems, and who knows what else. I have a vicious case of writer's block, and I cannot seem to shake it. My own personal writing book is full of squiggles and incomplete thoughts scrawled in frustration. I truly do not know what to say; everything comes at me in fragments. I am capable of focusing on one topic for about four lines, and then I lose inspiration and motivation and my next thought crashes in and takes the old one out at the knees. Usually the only time anything even remotely makes sense is when I am alone in nature giving my notebook a thrashing, so you can imagine what this mundane bland phase has done to me. I have nearly gone entirely insane instead of just my usual seventy-five percent. Finally I woke up and decided to make today different. It was a crisp Fall day, and I chose to spend it alone with my notebook and my camera by a lake. I was surrounded by a plethora of autumn-hued trees, and for the first time in months everything finally seemed still. I perched myself on a hidden bench, and let everything hit me. All Summer I was a bit of a robot, allowing myself to slip into some state where feeling anything at all, decision making, or doing something the least bit constructive were things that existed... I don't know where really, but someplace very far away. I became a bland nine to fiver who only looked forward to my after work nap and or a lunchtime dollar drink. I laughed as I wrote that. Who knew a large diet coke could bring so much joy. Not me! I don't even like soda. I sat on that faded bench, and let myself think about the last six months of my life. They were not a dream, but a reality that gave me new thoughts, goals, and interests. So I suppose I'm making this (whatever the hell I just dumped on this page) a declaration of sorts. A declaration that I am back in fulllllll force. The quirky, bizarre one... yes, her.

...and just so there is something of quality on this page I leave you with this.

“There is a wisdom of the head, and... there is a wisdom of the heart.” - Charles Dickens

Thank you, Sir.

Heebie Jeebies

2011-08-23T16:16:00.000-07:00

So Peter is leaving for Arizona on Monday... literally, she is on her way out the door. Naturally she has left me a list of all I am to do while she leaves. So I think I am safe. There she is, I can see the back side of her flapping out that beautiful front door, and then... it happened. Her body began to turn towards me. I tried to hurry and anxiously engage myself in a good cause else where, but I was not quick enough. She turned around. Eff. Her mouth falls open, and she says to me: "Ohhhh yeahhh.... Spring.... I know that you are so busy and that you are moving on Wednesday and don't even have time to sleep because you are a chronic leave it until the last minuter when it comes to these kinds of things... buuuuut can you just.. well, clean out the fridge before you leave?!" You want to know why she waited until half her hiney was literally out the door? Because cleaning the fridge gives me the heebie jeebies. What if there are hot dogs in there from a barbecue I innocently did not attend on the weekend, and they have a set date for rotting before she gets back, then what?! I have to touch the slimy already opened, once brown but now slightly grey, juicy package? What about the pasta that she made for dinner the night before she left? It sat in a beautiful purple glass bowl, lurking in sick mockery. What if there is still egg nog from Christmas that just gradually got pushed further and further back until it was permanently and conveniently hiding behind that twelve gallon bottle of ketchup that was on sale at Costco for six dollars?! *there is no egg nog left in our fridge from Christmas, just to shed any judgments you just shot with disgust at the Pierson family. Anyyyyways. I begrudgingly strap on my bicep high, yellow rubber gloves and beging the hideous task. I'm twitching and jumping about every four and a half seconds, and Gary is dying. He is watching me with an entirely hideous, amused look on his face.

We then proceeded to have a twenty-seven minute long discussion on what gives us the heebie jeebies. There are categories you see.

Don't hate me for saying this, or do, but to every single one of us, a few people fall into the cautionary "heebie jeebie" category.

Take this here Janice for instance, the woman famously capable of making Chandler Bing's "balls jump back up into his body". With zero effort, she can cause his whole entire soul to shrivel up and die. For you, it might be the man in your ward who wears spandex church pants and spends too much time rubbing every females shoulders and offering unnecessary hugs. It might be that lady that is kind of you Mom's friend, the one you avoid when you see her before she sees you at the grocery store. You are not in the mood to talk small talk for six minutes, and she is! It might be the girl that you met at school semesters ago, that for some reason, like Chandler Bing and Janice, makes your entire soul die in a fire. You know that feeling. The one that you cannot even begin to explain. You try not to talk about too often because you realize it appears harsh, but no matter how good of a heart you have, you just shrink up, the light in your eyes goes black, and you shiver every single time you hear their name. I hope right now as you are all reading this you have a grin on your face because someone's name juuuust popped into your head. Congrats on being human.

Then there are the sounds or smells. For my friend it is the fake peach smell. You know, peach flavored things. I will not do her the great injustice of revealing whyyyy this special smell nearly sends her into convulsions, but it just does. For me, it is the sound of ice scraping together. I just twitched writing that even. For Gary and I both, it is the biting of the fork. a;ldjf;aowejr;lkaj;sdlkjf;lkajsd teeth on metal. So nasty. I had a roommate who was a chronic utensil biter and it was a tragic situation.

So there you go. People are people and day old fettucini alfredo is just that, and maybe you and your brain looking pasta make me twitch, but that is that and it is 37 degrees outside. Celsius.

Jolly Roger

2011-08-18T22:24:00.000-07:00

The other day for some strange reason I answered the house phone. I never answer that phone because it is never for me. Simple enough. Anyhow, on the other end was Bob, one of our really good family friends who is quite elderly now, and has a bit of dementia. Anyways, he can't talk so great and gets confused really easily, so all he said was: your mom... emergency...her eye...better go there... I'm like uhhhh ok? I guess I'll go there then! Thanks, bye! Naturally I did not react in the slightest bit. I just looked at my brother Rob and said hmm well I guess Pete is in the ER so I suppose we should go there. She hurt her eye or something? I dunno, but I hope she gets an eye patch! (Don't judge me, you'd all think it was funny if your Mom had an eye patch too)I knew he'd react, and of course he did. So off we went to the hospital. There is Peter sittin' in a chair with a squinty eye. (nooo I am not laughing as I write this... maybe.) So we make sure she is ok, turns out she ran over a rock when she was mowing and it flicked into her eye. A little freezing, and she was fine. Soooo here is where it gets really good. Rob and I are driving home and I have an epiphany! Guess what I ordered on Amazon that just happened to arrive the day before?! A GIANT JOLLY ROGER! So what did I do? I dashed out to the flag pole in the front of our house, took down the lovely Canadian flag that was flying so majestically, and up went the Jolly Roger to commemorate the almost loss of Peter's eye. I am without a doubt, the best, most caring daughter EVER. Peter laughed her hiney off and then I woke her up at 2 in the morning by jumping on her in bed. When she started to get mad I told her she'd miss those wake up calls when I leave. Then I blasted some music and Gary and I had a dance party. All while he was wearing his Darth Vader sleep mask. Life doesn't get much better than this, folks.

Rainy Thoughts

2011-08-10T23:15:00.000-07:00

I am working on a new project which I am not going to get into just now, but it is a reflection project. Reflecting on all things beautiful, hideous, past, present, in general and in depth. Of course people play a major role in this.
I remember being fifteen years old and strolling down the hallway of the tiny Raymond High School. I was wearing skinny jeans and they were juuuuust becoming ok again. Translation: only a couple of people in Raymond had caught on at this point. A million people, even my closest friends used to mock the dickens out of me because this is the kind of thing I chose to wear, what I chose to wear was off. It did not bother me much, most of what I have done my whole life is off! I would be a liar if I proclaimed to be strong as an ox and sure enough of myself back then that it did not create a bit of doubt, I was an awkward fifteen-year-old after all. Years passed and I did not think much about these things until moments like this one. It is pooring rain outside currently, and I'm listening. Down falls not the majestic sort of rain that steals the streetlights thunder as it dances and gleams, but heavy, thick rain. Rain that falls in singular, grand drops and slowly darkens the color of wooden porches and asphalt. I took a break from my project and went and stood in it. I stood in the middle of the sidewalk and let the large drops soak me. Soak my hair and my cotton clothing just as it did a few months ago in Cantebury, England.
I stood, waiting to be let into a cathedral, and I was soaked from head to toe. I didn't care about being wet that day either. I was standing their perfectly content, content with a feeling of magnificence and appreciation for where I stood. I was entirely absorbed when from the left side of me came some remark about the state of my hair. Apparently the wet look just wasn't working for me. First the skinny jeans, and now wet hair. Me oh my. Instead of shuffling down the hallway of RHS a little slower with my head just slightly deflated, I lifted my chin and grinned. My hair was ugly? Look at her hair? Her Vans Shoes? Her all too often clad in black self? That bone-y creature? Who was she kidding? Who was I kidding? Not. One. Soul. I was kidding no one. My hair was wet because I let it be. My hair was wet because I was entirely too content and too moved to care. My hair was wet because I had just frolicked around in the streets with those most dear, and I was too happy to care. I rubbed in that natural moisture and let my mane run absolutely wild. I like it that way. I sit here now, the gold locks as psychotic as ever, listening to the thunder pound the Earth. Shake the very ground this house is built on, and I think of the people who try to do the same. Some do, naturally, they flip the nation without even knowing their magnitude. Those are the brilliant ones. The ones capable of inspiring. Others try and fail. Others think the solution is to take the world in their hands and shake with all their might until something is different. Until something has been pushed down a level and they have risen. They feel with their rising their skills and their stature have increased. This makes me grin. Grin because it is so flawed and the realization of that will one day sink in, just as the rain does to the grass now.

Dear Jane.

2011-07-25T23:38:00.000-07:00

I have a real post churning in my brain, but I can't bring myself to write it just yet. But just so Jane doesn't give up on me I will begin writing whatever pops into my brain or heaven forbid, bits of what is already in there.

I could not find a headband within one foot of me while sitting on the couch today squished up in a ball doing nothing, so like a true boy scout would, I went ahead and wrapped my laptop charger around my head. Try it, works like a charm. The little clasp on there that you use to wrap it up, perfect clasp. Just don't do it up too tight or the blood won't flow so well and you may end up a bit light headed. It's almost like I learned this the hard way or something.

Remember when I used to be deathly afraid of needles? Apparently not anymore. I book myself acupuncture appointments willingly and I love every second of it.

Yesterday I played soccer with the children and I picked them up and spun them around 2 million times and I'm pleased to announce my whole body is sore today.

I drink about 5 liters of water a day and I pee constantly.

Peter says to me the other day she says: "Spring, if I save something will it automatically go to my table top?" me with stunned face: "Tabletop?!?!?!?!?!?! BAHAHAHAHA" Peter: "whhhhhhhhhhat?" me: "uhhh Petrey, DESKtop you nerd.

Have you ever fallen asleep with whitestrips on? It hurts.

The other day at work I was running up the stairs, toooootally biffed it. I thought I could just carry on and no one would notice, the entire staff came out of their offices. I'm not mad.

As it turns out I am moving in less than one month.

Dave is getting married on Saturday, in Waterton.

I now have a nap each day.

As you can tell, my life is not all that exciting.

Gary doesn't snore anymore, and this is a big deal. He used to shake the house, people.

I drove home from work today with my leg half out of the car window.

I still eat eggs at least once per day, Haley.

I have been reading up a storm and it is divine to read whatever I want. I'll talk more about this when I'm in a better condition.

Yesterday I was saying goodbye to Freya and I said bye Freya, LOVE YOU! and before she could think she blurted out AMEN! She kills me.

She also ran 50 yards, into my arms, screaming at full volume when I pulled up to where she was.

It is really hard for me to ever get enough apples. I'm beyond addicted.

My Grandma, whom I adore, well she is no longer there, at all, so now when I go to visit her we have the same conversations. To keep things interesting, and to make sure I don't go insane I may or may not lie a bit. The other day she said well what do you do at university? and I said oh I am studying to be a rocket scientist. Five minutes later she asked me again, I told her I was done university and that I am now a plastic surgeon. I'll probably go to hell.

The highlight of my weekend, I was strolling casually through Wal Mart, soaking in alllll those square feet of delight, when who do I pass you ask? Just a friendly 5'4" seventy-year-old lady wearing a black Def Leppard shirt that fell almost to her knees. I'm. Not. Lying. I soooo wanted to ask for a photo or to stalk one down, but I missed my chance.

I just crept into Pete and Gare's room while they were trying to fall asleep, walked over to the computer and turned on the first thing I could click on. Just happened to be ACDC "Highway to Hell". I then proceeded to dance around like a psyscho while Peter shook her head at the child she raised, and Gary pumped his arms and tapped his feet to the music.

I do believe this is enough damage for one session. It would appear as though I'm still bizarre.

ps. Gary came home the other day and asked me if I had seen Kate's wardrobe while she was in Canada because her stylist was "spot on". Thanks Gary.

p.p.s. I just realized that too many of these random things include my parents. That is because I'm a hermit and I live in their basement. It really doesn't get much better than that, folks.

A Chip Off The Old Block

2011-06-19T00:10:00.000-07:00

It is Father's Day, and since my Father is absolutely amazing, a post is necessary. You see, Gary has always been one of my very favorite people. I love every moment we get to be together.

It has become more apparent than ever that I am my Father's daughter. I have grown up acknowledging whole heartily that I got his sense of human and his calmness... but ohhhhh heavens. Here are some recent events and likenesses that are scary and should not be written down, but I think I will anyways.

We sit together at the dining room table every night, and the other night over a bowl of soup, he says: "Spring, if you are ever confused which soup to order, mushroom is always a good idea." Took the words right out of my mouth, Gare!

We both laugh, making hardly any noise at all, aside from the smacking of our hand or foot on something.

We are both obsessed with golden delicious apples with cheese. We'd rather have this than pretty much anything else. Well, this or soup.

We don't have eyebrows.

We do really bizarre things. The other day I woke up and I guess I was laying there saying my prayers, because one minute I was asleep and the next moment I was thanking Heavenly Father for hearing aids. Gary once fell asleep praying and prayed that He would stack the boxes next to the garage so they didn't blow away. Yuuup. He also once had a dream in which we both got eyebrows.

He loves cars almost more than anything, and has passed that on as well. When I hear the rumble of the 454 big block I cannot help but grin my biggest grin.

We are both in love with Windex.

We both adore Wal Mart. Cannot help it. They have the best people, and weirdly enough, apples.

Peanut M&Ms and Nibs. That is all I'll say.

We can rewatch Friends and still laugh. aaaaand we do let me tell you. We are right now in fact. The blooper where Joey falls? Gets us every time.

Us Weekly and People magazine. Hmmm.

Gary tells me off colored jokes... and while I realize this is a strange father-daughter thing. What isn't with the two of us.

We are obsessive compulsive like you would not believe. My closet. His hot wheels.

We don't yell, and we don't get mad.

We like to be alone.

We have been known to spend our Friday nights having a mean dance party in the kitchen.

We have the flat butt. Thhhhhanks Gare.

We loooove watching movies.

Cleaning vehicles? Just ask Gary or me, we'd love to.

Gary is the best. He calls me almost every day, just to have a little chat and see how my day is going. He is a very good man, and if you aren't convinced, well here are sixty more reasons why Gary is the best. Happy Fathers Day, Gary. Know that I love youuuuuu.

The Best Ones

2011-06-10T21:21:00.000-07:00

(Hampton Court. London. England.)

(Amiens. France.)

(Munich. Germany.)

(London. England.)

(Camden Town. London. England.)

(B&S. Tandem bikes in Brugge)

The best ones. The best photos. The best days. The best friends. The best sights. The best memories. The best. Here are a couple photos. These portray my best days thus far. Days spent in ways I could never have imagined. Days spent discovering, touring, learning, and most certainly laughing. The best.

(H,M,B,S. Tandem Bikes. Brugge.)

(S. Picnic under Eiffel Tower. Paris.)


(S&B. Pantheon. Paris.)

Sweating Goosebumps

2011-05-16T12:22:00.000-07:00

I'm sick today. I'm laying here like a cocoon in a purple fuzzy blanket. My forehead and armpits are two degrees away from engulfing in flames, and my arms and legs are covered in goosebumps because they are freezing. The only thing in the world that sounds good is an apple. Gary just went to buy me one; he is the best. As it turns out I don't blog anymore. I do not know what happened, I just got busy and then I got busier and then I was off living my life long dream and I stopped blogging. I thought I was going to catch it up, talk about everything that happened after my last post, but that is just too much. Let me just say that it was real and it was great and it was really great. Before I left my sister in law told me that she could not wait to see me when I got home because she knew I would change significantly. She was right. I am not the person I was when I walked out my front door five months ago. Not even close. Last night I spoke at a fireside about my European adventure. I did not write down any notes. My Mom kept worrying, thinking I was not preparing, but it was all in my head. I sat in front of those people and I told them about the last four months of my life. I told them what I did and why. I told them how Scotland was my favorite place and why. That from the moment I stepped off the train in Edinburgh I felt entirely content. I told them that every day I wrote in my journal and I focused on why I was there. What I took from the experience, and what it changed in me. I told them that I wrote more than I have in my entire life. That my notebooks are filled with shaky writing because every moment I was on a bus I had my pen in my hand, firing through a notebook. I told them how lucky I was. How lucky I was to get to conquer my life long dream. I read them a quote from William Wordsworth's poem about Tinturn Abbey, and I told them that he had managed to capture exactly what I felt when I sit in nature. I told them that my Mom taught me to trust nature, and to rely on it. I told them how much I do. I trust nature and I rely on nature to hold me up, because it is easier for me to turn to that than it is to human beings. The trees and rocks along Waterton Lake have been good to me you know. They are always there, sturdy as can be when my worst days are crashing over me. From what I saw, no one fell asleep, so I think I did ok. It was fun to be able to talk about it like this. For me to just talk and them to listen. Peter came to listen, and she cried. I am home now. Curled up like a cocoon in my purple blanket, in Canada. I'm home and I feel like I have a secret. A secret for why I'm not the same as I used to be. Secrets that are each and every experience I had. Every monument, cathedral, castle, and country changing me. I'm going to eat an apple now.

Dragon Tales

2011-04-08T15:46:00.000-07:00

I remember the show Dragon Tales from when I would skip school and crawl into Peter's bed. I would turn on Regis and Kelly and the View and wake up hours later to Dragon Tales. I hope you all have the terrible song stuck in your head now. Fortunately this time my Dragon Tales are a little different, and perhaps a bit more interesting. I went to Wales. Above you will see their flag, the red dragon is Y Ddraig Goch, symbolic of all things Welsh. I'd seen the flag before, but I was not aware of just how popular the red dragon is, it was on everything, and it was awesome! I hesitated to love Wales at first. We were plunked down in the Cotswolds on our way, home to the stained sheet, hair infested, hostel we stayed in, and expensive, maybe mediocre food. Fortunately Cardiff was able to win my approval, easily in fact. There was a football match on the day we were there, and the streets were infested with patriotism, both the Welsh side, and a few brave Irish fans. Not only was the atmosphere fun, but looking back this was the first really nice day. There were yellow daffodils plastering luscious green grass, and the park we walked through with the sun beaming down on us was nothing short of lovely.

On the way to Wales we visited Tintern Abbey, made famous by William Wordsworth. We bought a copy of his poem and read it, standing there in the abbey, reading his brilliant words was inspiring. One part stood out in particular: "For I have learned to look on nature, not as in the hour of thoughtless youth, but hearing oftentimes the still, sad music of humanity, not harsh nor grating though of ample power to chasten and subdue. And have have felt a presence that disturbs me with the joy of elevated thoughts; a sense sublime of something far more deeply interfused, whose dwelling is the light of setting suns, and the round ocean and the living air, and the blue sky, and the mind of man, a motion and a spirit, that impels all thinking things, all objects of thought, and rolls through all things." Mmmmmm. Beautiful.

As of late my traveling has taken over the blog, which of course makes sense since this is the highlight of my life right now... I just don't want this to become some boring travel log. I'm still Spring and I still become fascinated by people and quirks and everything in between. Rice crackers are still my favorite food, and asparagus still makes me grin. So does tea. I also still ask Gary if he likes big gulps, every time we talk. He does. He still drinks 'em.

I was totin' my pack along the long dusty Winnemucca road

2011-03-25T03:30:00.000-07:00

Part One: Travel Week

Not so much Winnemucca road, but Johnny Cash is brilliant and I could not resist. March has been a traveling month. Before the month even began I was hesitantly bracing myself for it to fly by, and that is precisely was has happened. I have made memories far too grand, laughed uncontrollably several times, ate delectable food, taken hundreds of photos, and discovered some pretty brilliant things. The month began with some time off for us as students. We had a week to do whatever we wanted, so me and four friends planned a trip to Berlin, Prague, and Munich. A whirlwind six day tour of these three cities, backpacking style. Ryan Air in all its glory allowed me to pack only the bare necessities. A few of the days resembled a temptress, wild lion, but I sure had fun. Berlin was our first destination, we flew in late at night, dropped our bags, and went searching for food. The guys found some schnitzel and were beyond pleased, a heap of fries and sausage with a dollop of mayonnaise and ketchup on top is not something I enjoy consuming, so I let them take one for the team in that department. They at this every single day we were in Germany, probably sometimes twice, and that is why I'm friends with guys. The Berlin Wall was all that was on my mind upon arriving, but before I got to that landmark, we found another little treasure in a very dark nook of Berlin. Kim's Karaoke. Who knew two words could fit together so beautifully. The five euro admittance fee was, aside from massive amounts of Haribo I purchased, the best five euros I spent the whole trip. It is here we met and fell in love with one "Gergaysian". One third of a transvestite group that sat in the table next to us. He fell head over heels for Mike, and kept us entertained the entire evening with his beyond awful renditions of Britney Spears and the Spice Girls. We belted out brutal 90's hits until the wee hours of the morning, and then collapsed into our hostel. The next day was spent viewing major landmarks. Checkpoint Charlie and the Berlin Wall. The wall really was as incredible as you can imagine. I couldn't see it without my mind flashing back to video footage I have seen of people desperately trying to climb over the wall, plagued by the horror that their family was just divided in two right before their eyes. It was an eerie feeling, knowing what that wall represented, but eerie in a bit of a good way, knowing that I was taking in part of so much history just by running my fingers along that wall. I even wrote my name on it, Spring Pierson, 2011. From Berlin we headed to Prague, a city that inspired me and took my breath away times thirty-three. Every time we walked around a corner there would be something more beautiful and more ornate to behold. I was literally in awe and I could not stop grinning. I also ate the best apple my mouth has ever bit into. It was one of those moments where you crunch your mouth into it and your eyes bug out of your head. Yes, that is precisely what happened. We went to a restaurant and ate Czech food, which ended up being delicious! We headed up to St. Vitus' cathedral, a remarkable site towering over the city on a hill. We couch surfed one of the nights we were here, in Prague, our new friend Martin put us up in his apartment, and even supplied Brenden with an outfit for the evening, not to mention the countless hours of entertainment he gave us by leaving an entire shelf of photos of his blind son at our disposal. Yes, thank you Martin for some of the most gutt wrenching laughs of the whole trip. I was hesitant to go on this trip at first, I had already been to Munich, and even to a couple of sites that were planned for the journey, so I felt I should go somewhere new, but my best friends were doing this and Prague and Berlin were appealing so of course I had to go. Visiting Dachau Concentration camp and Neuschwanstein again was excellent, I have zero regrets. In fact I probably appreciated the castle more this time around, and Dachau was just as sad and moving. I cannot even imagine that life. I think about it, and of course it strikes me as devastating, but can you actually imagine living under those conditions? Living in that much fear? It is horrifying to think of. We were walking through the streets of Munich at night, it was dinner time and we just happened to wander into an old beer hall at the most opportune moment. We were whisked to a table, plunked down, and the food poured in for the next two hours. Hot pretzels, goulash soup, the best mustard ever, salads, schnitzel, brauts, we. ate. it. all. It was divine, and washed down with a perfect, warm apple strudel swimming in custard.

This is just a short synopsis of one of the better weeks of my life. Backpacking style was extremely adventurous, and an absolute achievement . I think we managed to squeeze in every form of transportation possible in just six days. Doing all of this traveling is truly changing me, I will never be the same after this trip, in a good way. My eyes have been opened and I have been able to behold remarkable things.

(The first of many brauts)

(Kim's Karaoke)

(Making our mark)

(The best apple in Prague)

(Neuschwanstein)

(Spontaneous photoshoots underground)

(Beer hall feast in Munich)

Inside My Head

2011-02-24T17:22:00.000-08:00

This photo pretty much sums it up. This was taken at "Tass", a pub in Edinburgh, Scotland. I know now how I look when I am feeling the utmost content. That is how I felt; that is how I feel a lot lately. I just returned from a trip to Edinburgh, and that may be my favorite place thus far. It is hard to say when I am traveling to so many incredible places, but Edinburgh stood out from the moment I got off the train. I think it is because this is where we come from, my family. These are my roots, where Peter's side came from. I was walking down the street, taking photos, and I was paraded with odd feelings. I wondered what the streets looked like when my relatives were still there. I wondered how it felt for them to sell everything they owned and embark to a completely new country; I wondered which part of the city they left from. I wondered what I was going to have for lunch. I wondered a lot of things. I thought of Peter. I was heading to the Edinburgh castle and it hit me again that this is really happening. I was really there, and it mattered. It doesn't get much better than this. These memories that I am making, these days that are happening, they are my life stories. Naturally a few of them went straight to the vault where they will stay for insanely long amounts of time, but the rest, I am going to base things off of these stories for years to come. Edinburgh was entirely lovely. We had a lot of down time, I was able to appreciate the architecture, take walks, and have some alone time to just be. I thought of Charles Darwin pacing about with all of his thoughts, and that is what I was doing too. Not to say he and I are even remotely on the same level, I fully acknowledge that his thoughts were entirely different than mine. I wasn't swarmed or bogged down in my thoughts on this day, they were there and I was too. The Edinburgh castle to my right, beautiful Scottish hills to my left, sun beaming above, I didn't try to wade through them or figure them out, I just left them as thoughts. Edinburgh at night was incredible as well, great adventures were had and memories were made. The next day I ate cream of mushroom soup that will probably stick out in my mind for years to come, it was that delicious. We toured parliament and attended a debate, and although it was not a significant, earth shattering debate, it was neat to hear them speaking in their accents, and to hear some of the things that were going on in their country at that moment. I haven't even been to a debate in my own country, and sitting in on theirs, that made me sad for some reason, like I am a terrible citizen. I have never felt like that before, but fortunately it lasted 3.4 seconds and then I was back to my normal Canadian self. One of the things I was most excited for in Scotland was the people. I wondered before I left how they would interact and how I could talk to them. I went into a grocery store and it was a whole new world. People were looking up, people were looking at each other and they were talking. I felt so safe here, it was like I was home in Canada where going to the grocery store is actually quite a social event. People offer product reviews right in the aisle, and here a lovely elderly woman asked me for my opinion about her chicken salad. It was a breath of fresh air. The cashier asked me where I was from and exclaimed that they loved Canadians, that wasn't what I was trying to get out of the experience, but they conversed with each other, and I loved that. I chatted right back. From Edinburgh we headed to Sterling, I am glad I got to go there, the trip was rather uneventful and mostly involved good conversation, getting lost in the suburbs, the Stirling castle, and the William Wallace monument. It was neat to walk up the monument and look down on the city. To stand and watch where hundreds of years before significant battles were so nobly fought. Where Romans and the English battled it out to conquer land and titles. Where mothers lost their sons, and wives their husbands. Where the strong survived, and once again, changed our lives. Scotland was absolutely lovely.

Already one quarter of my trip is over. One quarter of this adventure is behind me, and that scares me more than anything. I do not want April to come, but I think I'll just push that out of my mind for now.
Seeing as how this blog is dreadfully behind, I suppose I'll catch up on what I have been up to these past few weeks before Scotland happened.

(Edinburgh castle)

(Edinburgh castle) (Wallace Monument, Sterling)

Touring Cambridge. This had such potential, but I am afraid I was not entirely blown away as I thought I would be, in fact I was disappointed. I would have liked to have spent more time in the actual colleges, but that didn't happen. Most of the time was spent in the shopping parts of the city... and although that was neat, I wish I got a glimpse of the older, more authentic part of Cambridge. I was expecting to see students, clad in the perfect Cambridge attire, walking to class with their to die for side bags. I wanted to see professors, clad in their attire that only a Cambridge or Oxford professor can pull off. I wanted to see those parts, but they were no where to be found. I bought a Cambridge shirt, so I suppose that will do. The buildings that we did see were brilliant. It is fascinating to think that this school has been around since the early 13th century, and housed students who have revolutionized the world.

Tea at Kensington Palace. When I write things like that, it does not always seem real. I could just be reading a random journal that is not my own, but then I realize that it is the same book I have been writing in for the past three years, and that this truly is me having these experiences. Tea was absolutely and entirely lovely. We sat in the orangery, a beautiful, spacious, white room, and were served scones and mini sandwiches with our choice of tea. I chose a simple mint tea, and I was more than pleased.

Camden Market. Brilliant. The moment I got off the train I knew I was in a good place, I could just tell by how many trashy tents there were, and how much black people were wearing. There were a lot of freaks, so naturally I was pleased. I did not get to eat here, but apparently the food is amazing, and I believe it. There is one road that is entirely little food markets, mostly Asian and Indian delicacies. As we walked down it, each vendor screamed in our direction their special of the day, and that their price was the cheapest. I was not even annoyed, I found it amusing. I was almost tempted to hold five pounds in my hand and have them compete to see who could yell the loudest. I refrained and purchased fresh squeezed orange juice, probably one of my best purchases thus far, it was that good. I purchased a necklace from one of the vendors, so I did my part.

(lunch with Haley at one of our favorite spots, "Piggy's")

Last night I went to Les Miserables at the Queen's Theater, and it was fantastic. The set was great, most of the cast members were great, and sitting in that theater, in London, seeing Les Mis, well that was the greatest of all. It was nothing short of inspiring to sit back in that red velvet chair and to let myself be moved by Kretzmer's music. Mmmm.

For Valentine's Day we went to "Swan Lake", a ballet by Tchaikovsky. I had never been to a live ballet, so it was definitely interesting. Once I knew the story line it was enjoyable, I don't think I need to go to a ballet every weekened, but the grace and the skill of those dancers was incredble. The main male character was capable of moving in a manner I did not know possible. His feet graced the stage like Ruby's hands did the piano, yes, that graceful.

Hampton Court. The highlights for me were the gardens. I took a lot of photos this day, and I love that kind of day. I walked around by myself for a couple of hours, the air was just thick and moist enough that a hint of fog had sent in, and it made it even more wonderful. Perfectly groomed trees and manicured lawns made the perfect backdrop for my photos, and having that time to walk around in nature seemed to be just what I needed. I miss the Rockies at times you know. Walking the gardens was followed by lunch and afternoon tea in a lovely little on site cafe.

From Hampton Court, we headed to Down House, in Kent. This is where Charles Darwin lived and raised his family. This was another one of my favorite places that we have visited. Unfortunately they have tainted the house by making it into too much of a museum, but other parts made up for that, the sandwalk in particular. This is where Charles Darwin would pace along, and sort out his thoughts. Some of his more genius ideas are sure to have been thought of right here, right where I walked. I genuinely cared about this, it was fascinating to pace along where he used to. Back behind the house were huge open fields, and multiple types of trees standing elegantly behind luscious green grass. The sun seemed to shine in the perfect spot, and it was truly brilliant. We walked along, and then headed inside for tea. Yes, I drank tea in Charles Darwins house. Geeeeze.

(Down's House)

Redeem.

2011-01-29T15:06:00.000-08:00

I swore to myself that I would never write a post like my last one, so here I go to redeem myself for that.

I have lived in London for three weeks now. Three weeks that have already been entirely influential to the rest of my life. We all decide who to be in life. Some choose to be alone, others cannot stand the thought. Some choose to lead, and some choose to follow. Whether subconsciously or not, we all go through the motions of choice. Choices that combine together to form what becomes our life. Coming to London was my choice. A big one. One just for me even. At first I felt as though it was an unrealistic choice. Too impulsive, and perhaps even flighty. Then I remembered that maybe I am impulsive, but that I was ok with that. I realized all I would take away from this experience, and I knew it had Spring written all over it. So I had an interview. A couple months later, I was accepted. Would I go? Yes. I would. In fact, I felt as though if I didn't it would be a troubling regret I would talk about until I was eighty-three. It is just starting to set in that I am actually here. I felt like it would never actually happen. The realization became crystal clear when a man asked me for directions today, and I was able to provide him with the perfect route to his destination. I am in London, walking streets with masterfully crafted architecture, loose accents, raw talent, quirky people, edgy and delicious fashion, and of course with red phone booths too. These days I feel more like myself than I ever have. I feel well again. I walk through the V&A museum and let my thoughts run wild as they drift in and out of each room. Passing by plenty of other students learning to trust themselves as they take in the art and then create their own. I walk through the aisles of the grocery store, and even that brings me some strange sense of satisfaction. I stand in ques, pay with notes, and look right when I am used to looking left. Perhaps my favorite thing to do is hole up in a pub for lunch or dinner. We have discovered many great ones, and there is just something about that atmosphere that I love the most. It might be that everyone there is new and intriguing. It might be the sheer coziness of mismatched wooden chairs and a fireplace, or perhaps just the traditional English pies hand crafted in the kitchen upstairs. Last weekend we traveled to York, Preston, and Liverpool. Three very different cities. York being ancient, dark, and possessing the shambles, which date back to the fourteenth century. That is right, my red vans treked through streets that were created that long ago. They took me across a roman wall, built on order of the Roman Emperor Severus. That very wall, that years ago meant last hope and sheer protection, now stands for people like me to simply tred across just to say that I have. Just to think back to that moment, how intense it would have been, the raging emotion that is nothing short of inspiring. From York we continued on to Liverpool, a city I am smitten with. It may have been the intriguing grey blanket of fog adding the greatest mystery to an already alluring spot. My friend and I walked through the city later on after we had dinner, and it was getting rather crazy. I loved it. There were girls clad in stupid outfits, guys ready to pounce, and clubs blaring music that should not be played in public. We walked down to the docks, and it was perfect. Freezing cold air pumping into my lungs, a fog horn blasting, and complete stillness. Not one other person was around. A clock tower stood behind me. A clock tower half engrossed in the thick fog, but standing sublime all the same. It was a great night. The next day we travelled to Preston, and were led on a church history tour. It was neat to be where so many significant events happened for the gospel. This was in the North, and it was the coldest I have been in a very long time. I was literally frozen to the bone. Loss of feeling in all of my limbs, wanting to just swear and cry and curl up in the fetal position, that cold people. I didn't though. It was a church history tour after all, geeze.

It is hard to believe that already I have been here almost a month. That makes me sad actually. I have much to look forward too, and much to remember, and now much to do. Cheers?

Just What I Have Been Up To

2011-01-14T16:15:00.000-08:00

-Going to Bath and thoroughly enjoying standing right where Jane Austen received inspiration for her novels.

-Mastering the tube like a champion.

- Hanging out with new fabulous friends.

-Grinning.

-Playing a stupid game on my iPad that I cannot get enough of

-Going to my first week of classes and getting really excited.

-Writing.

-Seeing Stonehenge.

-Seeing films. King's Speech tonight, worth seeing.

-Reading, reading, reading.

-Not sleeping.

-Going to the British Museum.

-Going on walks.

-Laughing until my abs throb.

-Living in London.

-Driving through the English countryside and loving it.

-Going to my new ward, which seems to have amazing potential.

-Chancho broke his nose after crashing into a sign. That is not something I have been up to, that is just something I heard this week. Poor little Chanchy.

-Visiting Salisbury Cathedral. We had the cutest little tour guide at this cathedral, she was a local and was so knowledgeable and so proud of this wonderful cathedral.

- Taking photos!

-Going on walking tours of London and discovering beautiful, quaint, or vivacious neighborhoods.

-Having the time of my life, and I think I will just go ahead and keep doing that.

Also, A lady fell down the escalator yesterday, it was too sad to be funny.

A girl fell UP the stairs today at our house, that was funny.

We have been making all sorts of memories that cause us to die of laughter every time we are reminded of them. That is a good sign, yeah?

Tomorrow is a new day, and it is going to be grand.

Going on a million walks, did I mention that?

Saw Wicked last night... incredible!

Going to Northern England this weekend for a lovely weekend trip.

Ok now to make this not so lame... I'll post some pictures!

(Haley, Spring, Brenden. At Wicked.)

(London Eye at night)

(coolest street performers)

(Big Ben might be my favorite)

(Changing of the guards)

Spring In London: Theater

2011-01-07T10:45:00.000-08:00

Alright people... summary of the last couple days. I have been extremely busy :) I love that though. Sooooo we went to the Tower of London, The Westminster Abbey, saw a show in the theater district, saw Big Ben, toured around, rode a double decker bus again, and I have been familiarized with a couple of things :)
The Tower of London was incredible. It made me feel like I was actually touring London. I walked around with a couple other people, and then we ended up spending the entire day together and it is just exceptional meeting all of these neat new friends. Westminster Abbey took my breath away a number of different times. There is a spot called the "Poets Corner" where several of my favorite writers are buried, and it was amazing to stand right there. Everything is all decorated meticulously and with such unbelievable detail.
Last night three friends and I went and saw "Legally Blonde" in theater. I know that might sound lame, and I was hesitant at first, but it was great! Hilariously funny, wildly entertaining, I loved it! Perhaps because I saw it in downtown London the excitement was elevated and it was a better show. in case you were wondering, I do realize this is a LAME blog post... but to make it better I will include pictures? Ok fine.

(Big Ben)

(Me and my new friend Haley)

(Kaylee, me, and Haley at Legally Blonde)

(Mike, Haley, me, Kaylee before the play started)

(Riding a double decker bus mmhmm)

Spring London: Landing in London

2011-01-05T11:35:00.000-08:00

Ok people... here I am starting off on one of the grandest adventures of my life, and I will blog about it here. After twenty four hours of airports and flying and walking and sitting and NOT sleeping, I am finally in London. Yes people. Spring is in London. I don't know that I will ever come home. I got off the plane, took a train to a staion near my home, and then I jumped in a cab. YES, one of those reallyyyyyyy darling black cabs. I died. Right there and then with my eighty pounds of luggage. Then I revived myself so that I might take in a bit more of this beautiful city. THEN I got to my apartment... Pictures to follow I promise. Soon. It is a little piece of delight let me tell you. Big wooden staircases enveloped with every ounce of Europe culture they could possibly muster. Needless to say, I have been grinning since noon when I landed, and I don't plan on stopping any time soon at all. I am currently sitting in a McDonalds getting some wifi, because my apartment has the worst wifi ever. I haven't slept for three days, so I think I will go to bed now. It is almost eight at night. More interesting stuff coming up I am sure :) I think you all are special and marvelous.

Two Thousand Ten

2010-12-31T21:18:00.000-08:00

Here is to you, 2010. You were great. You were hard, you really beat me some days. Some days you made me sit, reflecting, wondering if you would win permanently. You saw me grin. You held up my lame, butterfly swarmed self when I could not possibly wipe that silly grin off my face. You saw me change. You held out on me, you even had a few tricks up your sleeve. Today is our last day together, 2010. So here I sit, reflecting again. On Tuesday I set out on a completely new adventure. One just for me. So what did I learn? What has this year taught me? What did I think? What do I think? What sort of growth has been sparked? I have learned to be strong. I wish that this was easy, I wish that I could write that I am strong in the most audacious way, but I am not. I am strong in that I used to be weak. I am strong in that I became this way. I am strong in that I have achieved things worthy of making me this way. It is funny you know, we all look at each other from the outside, and we can wonder and we ponder what it is that makes all of us tick, but we do not truly know do we. So yes, I learned to be strong. I learned to be assertive. I learned to look things in the eye and face them, not turn my eyes to the ground and shrug away. This year taught me to be me. I learned who I am. I learned to have faith. I learned to grin on the most dreadful days because things would eventually take a turn for the better. I learned to trust myself and those around me. I learned that beauty comes from within. It is scary that those words make me cry. They make the tears trickle down my cheeks because I know them to be true. I know that the prettiest girls I know are the ones who are whole. I have learned to trust the Lord, and not be ashamed or afraid of that. I have learned that without Him, I would not be this person that I am, I do not want to be without Him. I have learned that it is ok to cry. I have learned to let go. Sometimes letting go feels like it might be the biggest mistake you have ever made, because who are we to let go of everything familiar, just to fall into a pit of unknown. But now I say why not. Why not learn something new. Why not better yourself and pick up the pieces that were once so shattered and piece them back together in a new way. I promise they will not get that way on their own. I have embraced the masterpiece that is my life, and the excitement that comes from the refreshing knowledge that I get to make my life whatever I choose. I can paint the canvas with bold, clashing, neon colors that grab the attention, or I can so intrically compose noteworthy, soft works that combine to reveal the most articulate, simple, beautiful masterpiece. I think I will combine the two. I will take the bold, and I will take the intricate, and I will make whatever I choose. I have already chosen the underlying shades, and each day is another stroke of what will one day be something even bigger. So yes, there have been days where I thought I would be better off to confine myself to a spot only for me, but others helped to dogpile that spot and prove it capable of holding so much more. I have learned to throw back my boney shoulders and let my seizure laugh take control in it's most booming form. I have learned to sit and be still. I have learned to be alone. To be content with being alone. To be strong enough and confident enough that I can stand on my own. I am so grateful. Grateful for a family who never stopped loving. Grateful for friends so genuine it makes me melt. Grateful for someone always watching over me. Grateful that rice crackers are still being produced in this world. Grateful that I know what I want. Grateful that people are quirky, and some even bizarre. Grateful for wild, unruly hair. Grateful for smashing style, and for thrift stores too. Grateful for alllll of this. 2010, you were great.

A thinking, content kind of day.

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes." -Gandhi

Nineteen.

2010-12-30T10:34:00.000-08:00

Now you have probably all heard me ramble on about my dear friend Jane, my internet friend even. Well Jane doesn't think birthdays are all that big of deal, but hers was yesterday and since we love her, this one is for her. Without further ado, nineteen reasons why we appreciate and adore Jane.

...Jane is extremely humble about her writing, but let me tell you a store. She is a published writer. Some of her work was PUBLISHED in a magazine. So we adore her.

...Jane is constant, she is always there. She will listen to me rant on and then at the end she will smile and still look at me as the same person even if I say hell.

...Jane is beautiful. She just is ok. Inside AND outside. The whole meal deal.

...Jane appreciates penny candy and diet coke and if you ask her she'll even have it for lunch with you.

...Jane... this one makes me cringe a bit but smile at the same time. Jane trained me to be a sammich artist. She is one of the best out there people. We just smile about that one.. but that is where it all began, this whole friendship deal, and what better place than the best place on earth, Waterton that is, not Subway!

... Jane has cuuuuute style. She truly does. She wears all sorts of little darling skirts and colored tights and she is just cute and stuff.

...Jane has lame Summer stories that I never get sick of hearing because they made her who she is... and the stories are such the good ones.

...Jane is a good friend. Did I already say this one? Well that is fine, because she is. She is extremely loyal.

...Jane has the most darling laugh. I don't believe I have ever told her that before, but Jane, you do. There have been a number of times where we cannot talk, or breathe for that matter because we are laughing our eyeballs out.

...Jane is always up for meating someone if need be, and yes I spelled it that way on purpose.

...Jane appreciates space pops! She even drove me to Superstore to buy a box of them almost as big as me when I had an unfortunate loss of wisdom attack.

...Jane has fabulous taste in music! Fabulous. And when she finds a good song she will even send it to me. Yup, she is thoughtful.

...Jane never judges. Even when I eat penny candy for lunch and supper and cry like a baby watching the Notebook. Cuz she'll just be right there doing the same thing and I so appreciate that.

...Because even when we live in different countries we are still just as close.

... Jane knows her way around Facebook like you would not believe, and boy does it ever come in handy.

...Jane is witty, and also because she has the best dreams ever, and believes in other peoples.

...Jane has a onesie, and that in and of itself is enough to just love her. Anyone that is over three years old and can rock a one piece pajama is in my good books. Ok I just thought of toothless old men in them and so maybe not, but Jane is.

...Jane has cute hair. We love her for that too.. because she always does it, and she always looks cute.

...Jane is nineteen, and there are a trillion more reasons why she is so grand. So yesterday was her special day, and thank you for being born Jane, you are simply the best :)

Best Christmas Ever

2010-12-14T23:28:00.001-08:00

Ryan Reynolds and Zac Efron are both now single. This is the best Christmas ever. I am asking for both.

An Unforunate Event

2010-12-12T21:42:00.000-08:00

So I was walking down the stairs the other night, minding my own business, when out of no where the stairs up and shrink and I fall down eight of them on my hiney. Now this would not be that big of a problem if I had a hiney to fall down on, but we all know I was blessed with a flaaaaaaaat behind. This happened six days ago. I still struggle to sit down.

I sat Pete and Gary down the other day and told them I was getting them a parrot of Christmas. A parrot that talks just as much and just like me. Peter's eyeballs fell out of her head and then she said "A parrot?!?!" and Gary said: "ohhhhhh great. I will shoot it." They love me.

I am sending Chancho a Baby's first Christmas stocking for Christmas. Speaking of Chancho, I get to talk to him on the phone in 13 days. Hoooooly smokes am I ever excited.

Karen and I were texting the other day, I told her to poke her children in the belly for me, she texted back and said the following: "When I poked Freya in the belly for you she said, "Aunt Ping didn't say to poke my belly, she said to give me more chocolate!" And that is why we love her.

I went to Utah. I met my professors and the people I am going with. I think this might actually happen.

Gary is the best present wrapper this side of the Rockies, so if you need your gifts wrap just call him up. I'd post his phone number, but I am afraid people might actually take me up on it.

You remember that Tycee girl? The one who is my bfff? Yeah well I stayed with her this week in her bed. Her single bed of course, thank you for asking. Then we woke up 3 hours late and had peach penguins for breakfast. Are you mad? Cuz we aren't.

As a child I grew up listening to Harry Connick Jr. at Christmas time. For some reason he was my favorite, and I have stayed devoted ever since.

Peter puts disco ball ornaments on our Christmas tree. No, I am not joking.

Peter just yelled at Gary for eating in their bedroom. Gary told her to hire a hutterite to clean it up.

I am making tutus. Lots of them.

I really love a nice Christmas card.

I love when the really awesome, organized families send out cards with pictures and an update of what each kid is doing. Heck if our family will ever send one of those out, there are enough kids that it would make up a novel.

Peter made carmels. I think I may have eaten them all. Did I already talk about this? Because I'm trying to forget.

Today I did something so funny to Peter in Superstore that I fell to the ground laughing. I'm not even going to try to describe how funny it was, but ask me to act it out. I will.

Uhh I have a life mentor.

Yesterday I had a sip of Gary's diet coke. It came out my nose. Touche.

Tomorrow is Chancho's email day. I'm sure excited.

We have 19 stockings. Yes, 19.

I'm making a load of Christmas presents this year. I was suuuuuuper motivated and got started on all of them so that I wouldn't be rushing at the last minute to finish. Thank heavens I did the first step to all of them two months ago and then left the other 14 steps until today. I'm so intelligent.

I bought myself luggage for Christmas and then Peter didn't know what to get me so she just bought the luggage from me. I'm going to be so surprised on Christmas morning.

Ever since I was about twelve years old I have known three quarters of the gifts I get for Christmas. I'm not mad. Just odd.

I absolutely adore this time of year. I walked out of Superstore just grinning today. This old couple grinned right back, and I was so glad. I am so grateful for people stepping out of their shells and embracing unity and culture and just plain old joy. We are so blessed. So completely, abundantly blessed.

To The Moon and Back Plus More

2010-12-07T09:58:00.000-08:00

(this picture is old now Gray, Soph,Rowan,Eden,Freya,Paisley)

When I was ten years old, my life changed drastically. This happened, and then something else happened. My very first nephew was born. I had just lost a brother, and now it was my time to be an Aunt. I remember the very minute I found out, I had a perfect, lovely little Grayson Russell Bullock. This day changed me. I remember my little ten year old mind thinking that I needed to be perfect. I needed to love this little boy with everything that was in me. Since then, I have been blessed to have six nieces and two more nephews. Each and every one of them is so entirely lovely. I remember the day each one of them was born, and not only are they some of the happiest days of my life, but they make my heart swell to a bigger size as I make room to love them with all that I am. Grayson is the oldest, and one of my best friends. He is smart, he is a writer, and he is my Gray. He calls to tell me about Star Wars, and he fascinates me with his knowledge. He is a thinker, he is smart, he is adorable, he is a soccer player, he is Gray, and I would live in a room full of mice that is how much I love him. Ew.

(Eden,Sophie)

Sophie Lee was born, my first niece. This girl is just naturally cool. She is beautiful you know. She is fun-loving, and sometimes when I think of how much she loves her Dad it makes me cry.

(Rowan, Freya, Grayson, baby Selah)

Rowan came next, Rowan Edie Bullock. Her big blue eyes made the whole world just right, and I am so proud of who she is becoming. She is the sweetest, most tender little thing with a heart full of love for everyone.

(Sophie, Eden, Spring)

Eden is next. Precious little Eden. I got to be there the day she was born. I held her that very first day and cried. Once again, seeing her love for her Dad fills my eyes with tears. She has this laugh that makes everything wonderful. Isaiah followed this string of girls.

(Brody, Gary, Isaiah, Bonnie)

Isaiah is hands down one of the coolest people I know. He is just naturally cool. From the day he was born he was this solid, oddly strong little boy. His curly hair and his dimples make my heart melt.

(Spring&Freya)

Little miss Freya. Oh where to even begin. Freya makes me laugh until I cry. Freya has some spunk, she is witty, and she is ohhhh too smart. She calls me Ping, and she adores me :) I'm just fine with that naturally. I dare any of you to look into her blue eyes and not melt into the floor and give her anything she wants plus more. She has that power you know, very dangerous. She calls me sometimes just to tell me she loves me to the moon and back plus more.

(Paisley&Spring)

Paisley Elizabeth came next. Oh Paisley :) This is the girl who everyone is going to want to know. I want to be her best friend. She is absolutely delightful and darling. She is a joy in my life. She already has this personality and this hilarious sense of humor. She makes everyone around her grin. That is her job you know. She is going to be brilliant, because she stems from two geniuses. When she walks in a room, it truly does light up. I get to see her in 20 days and they cannot come fast enough.

Selah Harlow. She was just about born on my birthday. Selah is lovely. I miss her every day. She is growing so fast and is already 7 months old :( I get to know Selah by hearing about her, because she is just dainty of course. When I hear my sister talk about her I grin. The love that she has for her is heavenly. I can hardly wait to see her grow and learn and become a little person. I also made my sister pick Harlow a little bit so we love her name.
Sawyer is the last one for now.
Sawyer Spencer Pierson. He carries an important name. He is the first Pierson grandson in our family. If you knew his parents, you would be so excited to know him. This little boy is going to be absolutely incredible. I can already imagine the wit and the sense of humor, and it just makes everything great.

You see, these little tiny people did not get this way just on their own. They are children of the most amazing parents. My best friends, my siblings even. They are raising their kids to be amazing individuals, and it teaches me incredible things. Every time I talk to my nieces and nephews, I tell them that I love them to the moon and back plus more. They remember now, they know that Aunt Spring loves them to the moon and back, plus more. It will always be that way. I will always completely adore them, and I can hardly wait to see some of them soon :) To the moon and back plus more.

Putting Our Heads Together

2010-12-05T21:54:00.000-08:00

(Grayson & I August '10)

"A nation's culture resides in the hearts and in the soul of its people." Gandhi

I am preparing to head out on what will most definitely be one of the greatest adventures of my life. When I tell my stories, I will speak of the happenings that will occur in these next five months. I am moving to England to do a study abroad program. Preparing for this semester, and preparing to move to Europe has of course, got me thinking. One of the main reasons I wanted to go was to plunk myself down in the very heart of London, and simply soak up as much culture as I possibly could. Where will I find this? Just like Gandhi said, I will find this in the heart, and in the soul of the people. One of the most brilliant parts of us as a whole is how different and unique we are, and how that comes together. The more diverse a culture, the more successful and interesting, the more stories, the more imagination, and the more creation. I can hardly wait to sit on a park bench and just observe. I want to speak to people, to hear their voice, their accent, and the way they piece their sentences together to explain what is on their mind. I find it so exciting that I will come home with different views because of what I will take from these people. I have never been one to be content with the same things. I must always be out discovering, gaining knowledge, speaking to people, learning what makes them tick, and then each day trying to take what I have learned and better my own life because of it. Sure, to live a successful, happy life is admirable, it truly is, but even these lovely adjectives will not cut it for me. I want to live an accomplished, spontaneous, convivial, intriguing, inspired life. I want to take time to sit down and speak to the people who build up all that is around me. I want to know where they came from and what they think. I want to know what they think about world peace, about eating cheese with apples, about wearing purple and red together, I want to know the absolute best day of their life, and why it was so. I want to know their thoughts, what makes them grin, and what takes their breathe away. I want to know what they very first imagined their life to be like, and then what it ended up like. I would like to know their reaction to those changes. I want to know about the absolute saddest, most heart breaking day they have ever had, if they can tell me. I want to smile at them, maybe even with tears in my eyes, and I want to thank them for contributing. I want to encourage them to let the unique, extraordinary, seemingly inimitable colors out too. A man from my work turned one hundred and one year old yesterday. I was so proud of him. There he was in his suspenders, wife by his side, pulling faces at her and calling her "smoking hot". I told him he made my day. He could not grasp why, and I told him it was because of the life that he has lived. If we were all to live the best lives we possibly could, with the most forgiving, strong, courageous strings the puppeteers our movements, think of our society. The brilliance that we already have is beyond comprehension, and the thought that it could be even more nearly blows my mind, but we will get there. Our society will continue to grow and exceed expectations, our culture will flourish, and please let it. Please reflect on your heart and your soul and embrace each part, for at times the smallest pieces are keys to the most alluring mosaic.

In Case You Were Wondering

2010-11-29T18:38:00.000-08:00

In case you were wondering, my dear friend Jane is now a published writer. I am so proud I may have even shed a tear or two.

Also, in case you were wondering...

I consumed five pomegranates last week. Yes five. I also have three more in the fridge waiting for me. Thinking about eating them makes me happy.

Peter went ahead and set up the Christmas tree.

Stockings are my favorite part of Christmas.

Today while driving, I thought of something funny and laughing my loudest laugh right out loud like no one was watching. The guy next to me at the red light sure was though!

I am reading Les Miserables.

My hands are cold seven days a week. Except for when I am doing dishes at work.

Mary slapped my butt the other day. It was in between a slap and a grab, kind of like a lingering slap, but not a pat. She then chuckled as she wheeled herself away down the hall. Mary is my favorite elderly person at my work.

Peter is currently cooking ribs and so Spring is becoming creeped out :(

It is Winter, which means you can find me curled up, pretending to hibernate inside until it is nice again.

I get to talk to Chancho on the phone soon, I can hardly wait to scream Chancho into his ear.

I had cauliflower for dinner because cauliflower is absolutely delicious.

Everyone is putting their Christmas lights up and when I dare to brave the harsh outdoors, I drive around and look at 'em, because it makes me happier than a clam.

Jane, I neglected to mention I ate soup broth for the both of us. You are veryyyy welcome.

Soup broth is the best part of some soups.

Soup is a weird word, but I really do enjoy soup.

I absolutely love to wrap gifts.

Gary likes big gulps.

I capture photos again.

I am fascinated by pirates. Sometimes I contemplate asking them if I am worthy of being on their crew. I think I'd look alright in an eye patch.

I get to play with Lorneyface this week and I could not be more excited. I miss him when I don't see him for a few days.

Karen and Freya made me get the Talking Tom app on my iPad. Highlight of my Saturday for sure.

My grad date's parents gave me this blanket for grad, and I rarely take it off my body. These days I run from the car to the house and before I do anything else, I put my pajamas on and wrap myself up in this heavenly, warm thing.

Coffee table photography books make my heart sing.

I have absolutely no idea what to get Peter for Christmas. The only thing that comes to mind is a parrot to keep her entertained while I am absent.

I'm moving to England in one month and five days. Just typing that made me grin, grin, grin.

Tomorrow is get emails from Chancho and Ethan day. Needless to say, Tuesdays are beyond lovely.

Beats, bears, battle star galactica.

Jane is published. Pomegranites rule, Chancho drools, the stockings are hung by the chimney with care... happy whatever day it is.

Becoming Spring

2010-11-28T20:12:00.000-08:00

A couple of months ago I moved back home. Things were all out of whack and my days began to blur together. I awoke everyday and I am ashamed to admit that I wasted away each and every day. I do not even know what I did to tell you the truth. In an effort to sweep my thoughts under the rug, I became a bit of a recluse. A cloud enveloped each and every hour. I knew I had many a thing to deal with, but where was I to begin? This was the question that overtook me. I did a lot of wandering. I did a lot of nodding, and I gave a lot of blank looks. I sat down at my most treasured, beautiful piano, and I could not play. My fingers, they did not forget how to move gracefully across the keys, my heart did. This truly did get me down you know. I would stare at the beautifully crafted music, it would blur, and tears would roll. Tears would roll because of unfamiliarity. I was not used to being this. I tend to put all my effort into making sure everyone else is ok, so that I do not have to think about taking care of myself. I look back now and I get scared when I think about it. I fear for days lost, and then I muster up my brightest grin and promise to make the future twice as bright. I am given weakness so that I might be strong. I rarely document these personal things, especially not as publicly as my blog, but these days happened. They surely did, and that is ok. To have days less magnificent than others teaches me things. Might I add that my family is just amazing. There was not one moment when I did not feel of their love, because they were constantly reminding me of how much they truly do love me. With a lot of work, thought, progress, and time, I became Spring again. I knew I was going to be well again.I began to read books, because I dearly love words strung together and bound into such treasures. I found Lorne, my beloved Lorne. I laugh now. My real laugh, a genuine booming one that explodes from the very happiest parts of me. I can attribute this in part to my job I do believe. Serving the elderly people has reminded me how much I love to serve. I began to write again. The other day I sat down to make my first to do list in what seems to be months and months, and I grinned, because nothing gets Spring going like a good hearty to do list. I went into Taylors room, and it did not make me sad to be there. It makes me grin to strum my slender fingers over his lovely guitars. I grin when I see his bulletin board clad with craft projects from many a time of us at the dining room table putting all our efforts into these pieces. All of the words that were drifting in clouds over me have literally been pouring out of me. I have so much to write. I have so many ideas. I am productive. I am learning to be assertive you know, something I never thought twice about being. The disaster that my room was is back to its normal, obsessive compulsively organized self. My shoes are in order, and I have a stack of books two feet high that I am getting through. Today I danced my pants off in the kitchen. I write in my journal again. I am my happiest self when I am creative. When my creative juices are cranked full blast, and ideas run rampant in my head, and this is how I get to be lately. So here I stand, Spring again. Spring who is not content to do nothing. Spring who adores life and the people in it, Spring who is so greatly blessed to just be. Spring who is on the right track. I am so grateful for those who stuck around. For those who have been so entirely encouraging and understanding. I'm grateful for rice crackers, and for pomegranites too.

Do You Ever Wonder

2010-11-16T20:12:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wonder what posses people to wear their crocs and dress socks out in public?

Do you ever wonder What Bill Gates does for fun?

Do you ever wonder if it would really be all that hard for Bill Gates to just give you like $5,000 dollars.

Do you ever wonder what would happen if Lady Gaga and Elton John had a kid? Holy eff that would be one messed up child.

Do you ever hang around a very bizarre person and fall in love with them just because you are so entirely intrigued by what ever it is that is going on inside their brain?

Do you ever drop an entire bucket of dirty water on your freshly mopped floor and then say a bad word?

Do you ever call Gary in the middle of the day just to ask him if he likes big gulps?

Do you ever debate eating the other half of the chocolate bar, maybe just secretly?

Do you ever wonder if boys ever sat around making excuses for what they just ate, like girls do? That is sad.

Do you ever consume a whole pineapple because it is so good you cannot possibly stop even though your mouth is going to hate you for the next four days?

Do you ever become that person who just mysteriously bursts out laughing in the middle of a quiet something because you just remembered something funny? Like thinking about the time that I was on Lorne's shoulders and he couldn't put me down and I couldn't breathe because I was laughing so hard and then he dropped me right off his shoulders and we lay in a ditch weeping with laughter for the next ten minutes. That happened. No, we were not intoxicated.

Do you ever pretend like you are going to go for a run, get all your gear on, bust out your favorite song on the ipod, and then sit down in your chair and stay there for the next two hours?

Do you ever just hang out naked in your room after a shower, just because you can?

Do you ever write out an entire days schedule and to do list and not accomplish even half of it?

Do you ever consume a whole package of sour candies and know you are going to regret it after because you are going to get that sore tongue, but you cannot help it anyways?

Do you ever not know how to do something but you feel too dumb to ask so you just pretend like you do until the person you work with walks away? and then proceed to stand there laughing at yourself and then stare at the coffee pot like it has eyebrows and wish you could just crawl into a hole?

Do you ever mysteriously crave subway?

Do you ever get in freakish cleaning moods and just go nuts?

Do you ever catch yourself talking to yourself, a lot?

Do you ever run and jump on your Mom at 9:17 in the evening when she is fast asleep?

Do you ever wish you could eat penny candy three meals a day?

Do you ever consume your body weight in water?

Do you ever begin to shovel the walk and then you are pushing the snow and the shovel gets caught on a crack in the sidewalk and the handle jabs into your stomach and takes your breath away and you feel like you won't be able to breathe for the next two hours?

Do you ever want nothing more than to sit down and watch Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and The Swiss Family Robinson?

Do you ever have so many things going on inside your head and so many thoughts that you just stop blogging because you are so overwhelmed?

Do you ever feel bad for neglecting your blog?

Do you ever feel extra bad for neglecting it because you are an English major and writing is just kind of your thing?

Me too.

Half

2010-11-07T23:48:00.000-08:00

It is now my half birthday. Coooool.

So I have been a slacker. I have been avoiding this blog and then avoiding it some more. Perhaps avoid is not the proper word, maybe just neglecting. Anyways. What did I do to poor Peter you might ask? Well Peter had to go sleep somewhere for some test or something. So I was home alone liek I usually am, and did not know what to do next. The sticky notes spoke to me. I got off my hiney and I wrote her a series, by series I mean over 40, notes. Then I stuck them allllllllllll over her everything. To get a general idea, and since I'm too lazy to put pictures on here, they went a bit like this...

Dear Peter, nice lamp. Love, Spring

Dear Peter, do you like big gulps? Love, Spring

I cannot believe I am writing this one on here but what the heck... Dear Peter, One time I told you I was going to Lorne's and then I kissed Ethan instead. Sorry, but not really. Love, Spring.

Dear Peter, Sorry I did not marry ______, but you loved him more than I ever dreamt of doing so. Love, Spring.

Dear Peter, nice face. Love, Spring.

You get the picture? It certainly killed a lot of my time. I go about my business, until half way through the next day I go into my room, PETER GOT ME BACK. Sticky notes EVERYWHERE. She may have even used even more than me. I laughed my eyes out. Then I probably made her take me to Costco. It is my favorite store and we go there twice a week or more.

In other news, I got a job at an old folks home, and it is a little slice of heaven. I adore them. I adore every single look they give me, and certainly the words they say to me. They are darling. Today Gary pronounced to the room that his next move was to write a book on marriage. Then I fell out of my chair with that one look on my face. As if. Then we are all sitting here tonight... Peter and Gary were taking turns talking to Karen on the phone. I walk over to yell something in the phone, peter is talking into the WRONG side of the phone. I just about laughed my lungs out. I also choked on a mint in the middle of Sunday school today and made a large gagging sound, so that was a delight. At work the other day, my second favorite lady looked up at me and said "Do you have a boyfriend" to which I hurriedly assured her I did not, and she came back with "You are lying. I can sit it in your eyes. What is his name?" Thank you. Ummm this one person I know made me pumpkin muffins and then brought them to my house and I cannot stop eating them and I think it is safe to acknowledge how much we appreciate him for that. Ummmmmm I am booking a flight to London tomorrow... because I am moving there.. because I am moving two blocks from Buckingham Palace. Because I get to live there for 4 months. Because I am so blessed and lucky. Because life is amazing.

Just Sayin'

2010-10-27T14:27:00.000-07:00

I am missing these people. The four of us have a relationship like no other. I get to be the target for their brilliant jokes, and I love them with my whole heart. Each one differently, but together there is a lot of love. They are amazing you know. They are my best friends, and they are darling. I have never laughed harder than I have with them and at them. I cook them dinner, and we sit on my bed and talk for hours. We watch movies at Gregg's, and we have bizarre contests. We have had amazing times, hard times, and certainly fun times. Without these three I would not be who I am today. Lorne is still around thank heavens, he keeps me sane and smiling. Only eight and a half more months and we will all be reunited again, and I can hardly wait!

Tomorrow I will be posting about what I did to Peter last night, get excited :)

Not the Shiniest

2010-10-26T19:05:00.000-07:00

Since I have moved home, my days have been a touch on the less productive side. I cannot really handle not being productive, so I don't let it bother me, I just find a million things to do to keep me occupied. Well Peter up and abandoned me all day today, so here is what my day looked like... Wake up, force my body to fall back asleep times three. Finally crawl out of my bed, go upstairs to Peter's, lay in there and watch Regis and Kelly. Get up, eat my favorite meal of the day, my sonny boy. Swallow my 2 Tablespoons of pills and vitamins in one gulp, ponder what the fetch I am supposed to do with the rest of the fourteen hours of my day. Check my email. Pretend to get ready for the day and then give up, take Gary's dry cleaning to Lethbridge, walk aimlessly around Superstore, buy swedish berries, and then come home. Then I cleaned the kitchen, pretended to have a nap, watched Gossip Girl, which I will of course deny, and then I sat here some more. I then went to the post office where I mailed off Grayson's birthday present (late of course), and then I came home and sat here some more. Then I ate some lettuce and stared into space for awhile, and then I ate too many chocolate chips. I then went into the living room and did some hand stands. I use the term did loosely, tried to do is probably more fitting, and then I laid on the ground and talked to myself for awhile. Then Peter surprised me and came home so I annoyed her for an hour and then she left for the whole night. Naturally I just sat on the ground for a while longer, and then I called Gary and he thought I was Rowan, so that was a real booster. Yuuuup you are welcome for the details. Probably not my most shining day, I am not quite sure why I'm writing it down, hopefully I do not remember this. Now I think I will spend the rest of the evening doing productive things because I feel like a whole big bag of loser right now. That or I'll watch 4 more episodes of Mad Men and finish off my bag of chocolate chips.

Times Like These

2010-10-19T21:39:00.000-07:00

I decided that since I have been here for a month now I would unpack. I know right, I am so motivated and ambitious. While unpacking I was going through old boxes of stuff in my old room and I found allllllll my journals. Bless my soul. I would just like to go back in time and give myself a good slap to the face and then a hug. It is so interesting and fascinating to see the changes that have happened over time. I am a different person now, and that is just grand. I am just so grateful for the opportunities that come my way. I'm truly blessed. Now here is what is lovely lately.

Lorne's laugh. Just Lorne in general really. He makes me happy. I make him baked goods. It all works out.

Penny candy. Remind me to one day write Canada a letter and praise them for penny candy. It makes my day on a regular basis.

Wheat bags. We all know I am a big huge giant cold wuss, so a wheat bag really melts my heart, and my toes.

Sudoku on my iPad.

Mad Men. I cannot stop watching. It is soooo good. Go watch it. My brother in law is responsible for this one.

Each night I run and belly flop onto Peter's bed and then proceed to ask her 31 questions and then when I get bored I get up and walk away. She really appreciates having me in her life.

Online shopping is my best friend and worst enemy.

Uhhhh I get to go live in England in less than three months. Just typing that made me have a spaz of excitement.

I think my blog would be more interesting if I add photos, so I vow to start adding photos.

Chancho has now been out for 7 and a half months. Holyyyyy smokes.

Ethan only has 9 months left, and Gregg 8. That makes my heart sing.

No seriously, my heart sings.

It was Dave's birthday yesterday and we adore him. We always have ya know?

I voted the other day. I'm such a noble citizen. I contribute to society.

I drank about six liters of water today. Ow.

My coat addiction is back, so thanks for that one.

I'll stop now even though I could go on for days.

I'm still weird, and I still really enjoy life and rice crackers.

Blind

2010-10-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

I have neglected this blog. I feel bad about it, I really do. There have just been big things going on, and I tend to shy away when these types of things happen. Talking about things dear to my heart is hard for me to do. This week has been a tough one. Loss has happened. One of my best friends lost his Mom. There are no words for that type of grief. How does one go about comforting someone in the worst case scenario. I suppose the only thing I can do is support. I have tried to do this. He talked at the funeral today. Him, there he was, and then everything else was too. Everything so familiar. My blindfold was removed and I remembered so much. What is really important. He gave the most amazing talk. He spoke from his heart, about what he believes, and about his beautiful mother who gracefully touched so many lives. So here is what I think I can do when faced with this kind of sorrow. I can encourage others to see the light. The light of the world, the light from our families and friends, the light from the truth. I know that it sounds cliche, but we just really need to take the time to do what is most important. We need to care, and we need to tell others that we care. We need to pause and just soak it in. Soak in the smell, the touch, the feelings. I need to do this too you know. I shy away from my feelings, I am afraid of them even, but why? Life is much to short for me to continue on having this kind of fear. So from here on out I plan to try harder. I plan to take time, to laugh a little more, and to just simply appreciate. Appreciate my family, my friends, the gospel, the beauty of this world, and the fascinating things in it. I am so grateful for all that I have. I am so blessed, I just really truly am, but what am I doing about it? Am I living a life that I am going to be proud of? Are my days full of productive things? From here on out they will be better. So here is to a family, entirely wonderful, and extraordinarily strong. A family I admire, and to one of my best friends. He who is beyond dear to my heart. He who I treasure, he with so much greatness, wisdom, with so much already achieved, and with so much potential.

An Internet Friend?

2010-10-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

Now it would be really neat if I had an internet love affair I could tell you about. I suppose it would include sensual skype dates, long romantic wall posts, and hours of flirting and chatting. However I am most sorry to report I have no such love affair. My internet friend is so much better than this. I have myself a Jane. Now for those of you who do not have a Jane, you are surely missing out. I suggest you run not walk to the nearest... place... and pick yourself up one. I am also sorry to report I have the original Jane so I suppose you should just find yourself a friend like her, because you cannot have Jane. I do not know that there is any friend that will be even comparable to her. She's my soul sister. I vow for that to be the last time I say soul sister. How awkward. I have been thinking a lot about how I should go about explaining our relationship. We really are just closer than close. We are the type who share everything under the sun, and I know she'll still love me even after I tell her my most bizarre thoughts, because chances are she is having the same ones. We can talk for hours about our summer and our peaches and our popsicles and never get bored. We can laugh together, cry together, and we are really good at being lame together. Like she said, we share our deepest secrets, and she is a vault. She is entirely dear to my heart. Let me tell you a bit about Jane. We met a little over a year ago. She trained me in fact. Trained me to be a sammich artist... but it is best if we don't get into that just now. Jane is gorgeous you see. Darling even. Darling in that she is one of those that is entirely lovely and just goes about life not even realizing how truly grand she is. Jane is a trooper. We met in the Summer. Yes THE Summer. The one neither of us will forget as long as we both shall live. Jane was just going about her life when she was struck by something new. This new thing came on strong and it came on quick and the next thing you knew Jane was so won over it was really rather cute. I got to watch it all happen, and it made my heart sing. I got to see Jane at three in the morning when we both got home...oops. I got to see Jane's face light up and I got to hear her stories. I got to know Jane. She is strong you see. Strong in so many forms. I am always amazed by the words she offers. She is strong in that she has overcome a lot to be who she is. She has become someone that I am so proud of. The very reason for her greatest joy has been her deepest sorrow. I have tried to be there for her along the way as this sorrow has handed out his share of grief. She has stuck with it. She is so consistent you see. She stands a true friend even when they least deserve it, and this amazes me. She is the first one I share news with. She is the one who goes about her days in wonderful forms. She is the one who can cry just as hard in the Notebook as I can. She is Jane. She is a popsicle eater, and a story sharer. Her days lately have been quite..Grey... but she stays positive. She is often heard saying "that is fine", and it is not the fake sort of way, it is just Jane be herself. Being strong in the face of the absolute terrifying unknown. She is the one who I stay up to talk to, because she always has something interesting to say. Let me tell you another secret about this here Jane, she is a writer. She will one day be the author of a best seller, I really believe that. Just this year she won a huge English award for absolutely ruling on her English diploma. Yes, only a couple of people receive this award, it is a big huge deal, and Jane pulled it off. She pulled it off because she is extraordinarily talented. Jane is interesting you see. She is bright, she is cheerful, and she introduced me to space pops. So here is to you Jane. My internet friend, and preeeeetty much a sister to me. I just adore you you know. My life would be so lonely without you. So here is to you, to the shift from hell, to perfect evenings, to drawings, to the inside of the cookie only, to penny candy and diet coke, to "of course", to secret time, and without a doubt to creeping. Here is to dates, to space pops, to the summer that will never die, to reminiscing, to random texts, to those freaky cat pictures you and michelle post on each others walls that I laugh at, to messages, and to two am. Here is to orange juice with ice, to having the same things happen to us all the time, to cardboard everywhere it shouldn't be, to meatheads, to broccoli cheese soup, to facing the unexpected, and to your boy. I'm sorry for your broken heart, I'm sorry for the days where you think it is your fault when it isn't. I'm proud of you Jane. I am proud of you for being consistent, for being lovely, for staying positive, for all that you teach me and those around you, and for your big huge heart. You simply Jane, are extravagant. You are diligent, spiritual, hilariously funny, and you are Jane. Thank you for being my internet friend. Thank you for always offering to be there with the meat when it is necessary, even though we both know we'll never actually follow through with any meat product. Thank you for inspiring me to do better, and to see the good when I become blinded. Thank you for sharing songs and memories. Here is to many more chats, many more secrets, and to being vaults. You are good at what you do.

Dear 8 of you

2010-10-05T21:27:00.000-07:00

Yes you. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, and you plus those you married. In big huge massive family that means you Brian, Caroline, Bonnie, Karen, Russ, Dave, Krista, Brody, Haylee, Robbie, Spencer, and Taylor. I adore all of you you know. Each and every one. I am so proud of your accomplishments and endeavors. I have learned so much from each of you, and I treasure those things. Being the youngest, I have soaked up aaaaaaaaaaalot. Whether it be the best time to sneak out, and which place to go, the best lie to tell Peter and Gary, the best schools to go to, what to eat on my grilled cheese sammiches, to be adventurous and spontaneous, to be smart, wise, and who I want to be. Brian, you are brilliant. Your traveling has inspired me. I try to soak up every thing you tell me, because i Know it will benefit my life. Caroline, I love that you are a part of our family. I love how you have been so fun and accepting from day one. I love how talented you are. I love how the two of you encourage me and believe in me. Bonnie, you are fabulous, in all forms. The room just lights up when you come in you know. Karen, you are my best friend. I cry when I think about how much you love me. You are my rock, and geeeze I just hope you know how smart you are, and how beautiful you are as well. Russ, you too are brilliant. Thank you for marrying my sister so we could be related. You are the best brother in law and you don't even know it. I sometimes feel awkward because of how funny I think you are. I laugh for about ten minutes after you say anything and it is quite embarrassing, but you are just so witty. You take such great care of Karen, and I really appreciate you. Dave, oh boy. You are extraordinary. You come hiking with me, and send me texts that make me the freak of every class because I cannot help but explode with laughter. You are smart beyond measure, and I just adore you. Krista, I adore you too. You are hilarious. You are smart, and you fell in love with Dave. You put up with him when he eats beans, and you are really great. Plus you get milk dud jaw, so how could I not love you. Brody, oh my word. You are hands down one of the funniest people I know. You are just the absolute best. You remind me of Gary, so that automatically makes you a favorite. Haylee you are so sweet. I don't think anyone else would work for Brody, but you are perfect for him. You just smile when he walks in the door at the age of 28 with all of his toys, and you are just absolutely great. Robbie, oh how I love you. You are a great example of how to be accepting. I love that you call me when you need me. I love that you have always been so spontaneous and fun. Everyone adores you, and well I do too. Plus you taught me so much about music and boys and life in Raymond, and girls used to stop me on the street to talk to me because I am your sister and they were in love with you. Spencer, all of this right here is the result of you. You taught me to be like this. You made my siblings become my best friends. You, Spencer, are a gift. Anyone who was blessed to know you is different because of that. I love you so much, and can hardly wait to hang out with you and eat green m&ms. Thank you for teaching me so much, especially how to not back wash. Taylor, Chancho even, oh my word. You are a perfect example. My whole life I just smile when I think about you, because you are just genuinely amazing. You accept everyone, you serve serve serve, and you are rock solid in the gospel. Tuesday is the best day of the week, because it means I get to hear from you. You people, we are so odd. Our family gives the Brady Bunch a run for their money. I hope you realize I wouldn't have it any other way. In fact I LOVE that we are like this. I love that we have an R rated dinner table, that we put the fun in dysfunctional, and that we can laugh about our poor sweet darling Grandma Midge when she does obscene things at the dinner table. Each one of you is so special to me, and has blessed my life more than you will ever know. Thank you for your wisdom, for your sense of adventure, for your support, and for your love.

Unoriginal.

2010-10-04T17:08:00.001-07:00

ok ok ok sometimes other people do stuff that looks fun so I have to try too. so shoot me. Stole this idea from my friend Jane

Day 1 — A stranger

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — Your best friend

Day 7 — Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/crush

Day 8 — Your favourite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

So without further ado, I will write the first 4 days so I can do one everyday this month and be caught up.. day 1.

Dear Stranger,

I had to think long and hard about who I wanted to write about. I thought back to moments in my life when my heart has been perfectly touched by a perfect stranger, so I thought of you. Who are you? The so called psycho with the eleven inch green mohawk parading the streets most flamboyantly? Are you the quiet secretary who has no family and no friends and goes home alone everyday? Are you the business man who spends hundreds of dollars on materialist things to fill some personal void? Are you the one who is happy as a clam with nothing? This time you are the man who stopped to listen to the music. That is correct, the one who paused. You are the one who was not dashing, running, or hurrying. You are the one that stopped to soak it in. I had just read an essay in an English class, that is why I noticed you. The essay was about how a famous musician played music for one day in a bus station, only a couple of people acknowledged him or his music. The rest of the people were too busy to notice. They were too busy rushing through their lives. Who was the man playing the music? Who was he to disrupt their lives so rudely? He was a millionaire. A man that people pay hundreds of dollars to see, but that day he was insignificant. We were on our way from the sea bus in Vancouver, we were both headed to the train. I was rushing to catch a flight, and I wasn't even going to be late. I am not sure where it was you were headed next, but that does not really matter. What matters is that you influenced me. You made me stop. You made me grin. You made me pause right then and there and appreciate what this marvelous artist had to offer. He had so much to offer you know, him with his story. He could have been rich, he could have been poor, he could have had a wife and kids, or maybe he had no one. His story that day was portrayed through his music, and I don't think I will ever forget it. I will not forget it, because you stopped to listen, so I did too. You complimented him when he was finished, and I did the same. I walked behind you onto the train, we got off at different stops, and we carried on to our separate lives. Leaving the music man in the train station, and leaving an imprint on me. That sounds cliche I know, but you really did that. So thank you. Really, thank you. Thank you for reminding me that my life doesn't start after I rush to the next thing, but that I am continuously surrounded by such creativity and magnificence. Thank you for reminding me to pause and absorb the music that was being offered. You don't know me, and I don't know you, but thank you for living that moment. I am proud of you.

Sincerely,

Spring, the girl who was reminded to pause.

Day 2: Your Crush

Dear you,

Oh heavens. I used to think that a crush was something that came on strong in elementary school and that I left there as I moved on to bigger things. I suppose there will always be a crush in my life won't there. That is really quite grand and refreshing. Even when I am married I promise to still consider Johnny Depp one of my dearest. Anyhow I suppose we should focus on you for a moment. What should I say about you? Talking about you makes me feel more exposed and vulnerable than ever. Should I write about your wit? Should I write about how wise you are? Should I write about how impressed I am? Should I write about your sense of adventure? Should I write about your proper diction? Should I write about how you make my heart sing? Dare I admit that your very presence makes me weak in the knees? Should I write about how the best days of my life thus far have been spent with you? Should I write about my love of baseball and sometimes watching the games? Should I write about riding off into the sunset? Dare I try to describe the hugs? Are there words to explain the raging swarms of butterflies that storm my stomach? Do I dare go there? I cannot. You are too amazing for me to even try, for even my most beautiful words would not do you justice. The thoughts are sacred; locked up even. You are peachy keen. You are cute, and you are grumpy when you wake up. You are cynical, and you fling me around and tickle me until I scream. You have a foot phobia, and I do too. You appreciate a nice word, and enjoy being facetious. I enjoy you.

Day 3

Dear P&G, Peter and Gary, Maush and Faush, Petevicious and Gerald, Petericia and Gerardo,

What a horrendous daughter you have. I am sorry that from the time I was two years old I was too independent. I really truly am. I am sorry that I hurried really fast and grew up and was out the door before you knew what hit you. I am sorry for running my own show my whole life. Know that you raised me well. Know that I so appreciate everything you sacrifice so that I can have a good life. Thank you Gary for your wisdom. You stopped shocking me a long time ago you know. I do not think anything would truly shock me at this point. You are hilarious. Thank you for the dance parties in the kitchen, and for the times when we are both bent over on the floor gasping for air in between chuckles. Thank you for harassing my boyfriends, I love when you do that. Thank you for drilling me with 738 questions each day. Thank you for teaching me to be smarter than what I am doing. To both of you, thank heavens for teaching me how to work. You are two of the hardest working people I know. Thank you for believing in me and telling me to go and see the world. Thank you, Peter, for teaching me the important things I need to learn. Thank you for making me clean the bathroom 5 times until it was clean. I so appreciate this. Thank you for canning peaches and salsa every year, and for making your own everything from scratch. You taught me to love cooking. Thank you for letting me be myself, and for encouraging me to go and do. Thank you for teaching me to be charitable, for it is my favorite quality in others. You are both quite grand you know. Thank you for my blue eyes and blonde hair. Thank you for having 9 children, what the hell were you thinking, but it might be one of my favorite things you ever did. Thank you for raising me here, it was a lovely place to grow up. Thanks for not killing me and for not knowing one single thing I did in high school. I think I am doing us all a favor keeping a few of those things in the old vault. Thanks for being Pete and Gare, don't act like you are not impressed with those nicknames either. By now you are owning it, and that makes me grin. I love you.

Conglomeration of Emotion

2010-10-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

September is a conglomeration of emotion. Each and every year my hippocampus is triggered and the flood gates of my memory become overwhelmed and then they collapse and let it all back in. This has been a regular occurrence since 2001 and it will happen every time the ninth month rolls around for the remainder of my days on this Earth. You see, so much has happened in September. I lost a brother in September. I watched my Dad's heart break that same September. There was a September when my own heart was shattered and I did not ever expect to be the same. September creeps in and leaves me prone to reflection. Vulnerable to my own memories. The beginning of the month brings on crisp new potential. No matter where I am at I find myself more wrapped up in my thoughts than usual. I think of the day I saw my strong consistent Dad bogged down in the tragedy of losing his own flesh and blood. I remember waking up on the couch to a phone call from a sister who was in hysterics. I remember a Dad struggling to compose himself, and breaking down. All scenes I did not care for then, and the mental replays seem just as haunting. I see a flat sturdy rock, overtaken by a skinny blonde girl who was no longer sure of anything. One who had just been stormed by a summer of complete and utter bliss and was now dealing with the loss of the very reason for her contentment and joy. I see movement and carrying on, and myself remaining stationary. So what did this September bring with it? It brought with it all of this and so much more. September attacked most kindly with a compilation of the past and the present. Bringing back what was so grand and leaving me just a few more memories to treasure. A few more memories of why it is peaches are my favorite fruit. A horrendous day to say goodbye it brought as well. A personal inventory I let it bring. One I thought over and tallied myself. Then I made a move. I picked myself up and I brought myself back to a place where memories are in abundance, and wellness can be achieved. A conglomeration of emotion. A reminder of what made Spring and why.

Excuse Me

2010-09-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

Excuse me but if the elephant that is currently jumping on my head would just maneuver its way off I would certainly appreciate it.... and while I am making selfish unreasonable requests, if my face could even go back down to half of its normal size I would be so pleased. I think I will go take some more pills now and mourn the loss of my jawbone/cheekbones.

I really shouldn't write this...

2010-09-29T17:11:00.000-07:00

There have been several events in the last 24 hours that I would truly like to forget... but for everyone else's enjoyment perhaps I will write them down. Know that I am just doing this for you. It pains me. So I went ahead and got my wisdom teeth out you know. No big deal except for there were four and they were HUGE. It went fairly smoothly, I have had every dental procedure under the sun, so I am tough. It was fine, even the 9 needles he gave me. Yes, I did say nine. Even him ripping them out of me and having to stand up to apply more force truly did not phase me. The worst part was yet to come. I did not have the sense to turn over my cell phone to Peter when I got home, so how do you keep yourself entertained when you are highly drugged and delusional? You use your cell phone. Jane was the first victim of my abuse. You are welcome Jane for keeping you entertained. I cannot find the beginning of our conversation, but here are pieces of it.

S: There is lots of blood and i think my head is a pumpkin but they gave me a lot of pills. S: I spilled hahahahahahahahahahaha my peter made me red jello. It looks like a bird on my spoon but my mouth is hard to find. Because i got teeth pulled Jane.

S: The dentist stole my teeth but it is ok because he plays sports.

J: I think you need to go to sleep Spring

S: Noooo silly. I cant sleep. I cant evevn stoplaughing

J: I'm so happy you are laughing. And that peter made red jello

S: I tied a big bow on my head hahahahahahaha it has ice in it. I do that so that I won't look like a chipmunk. ( I have to leave out the rest of this one because it is that horrible)

J: hahahaa im going to save these messages and show you someday. you will appreciate them.

S: okkkkkkkkkkk i don't know what that means but i ccalled my sister. Freya was home too but she isnt in soccer

So yes the phone call to my sister, well that was tragic. Rawley also fell victim to my texts. All while I was entirely drugged, do not remember one moment of it. Then last night, yeah Jane does me the favor of asking if I remember texting her at all, naturally I do not. She then tells me I better check if I sent anyone else any other messages... right then and there my whole soul fell through my feet I do believe. You can imagine the horror as I fly to my inbox. Yuuuuuuup sorry about that there Rawley. You are welcome for providing you and your family entertainment for the day. My face is still red. The phone call to my sister? Now that was epic. Apparently we talked for 20 minutes... do I remember one of those minutes? No, no I do not. She said she only wishes she didn't have to go pick the kids up from school or she would have talked to me all day. I guess I was also giggling like a 6 year old. Giggling. For the last two days I have spilled applesauce on myself 147 times, lost my mouth, come to resemble a very large chipmunk, slept about 22 of 24 hours, and consumed a lot of drugs. I think the cherry on top of the cake was probably spilling cottage cheese in my neck. Well that or having to go to the doctor's office looking like an overfed chipmunk. Not my most shining moments I think???

There and Back, Up and Down, Over and Just Begun

2010-09-25T11:31:00.000-07:00

A whirlwind is an atmospheric phenomenon, it can occur in any season, and in any part of the world. A vortex of wind forms due to instabilities and turbulence created by heating and flow gradients. Sometimes in our own lives whirlwinds are created. The turbulence might be loss, it could be love, or perhaps a mix of the two. Sometimes the unexpected comes flying at us so hard we find ourselves entirely unsure of almost everything. We are caught in a whirlwind. Lately mine has come in the form of both of these things. Usually when placed with a choice of mourning loss or grinning because the love was once there, I choose to grin. I choose to grin because that is easier. It is easier to wrap myself in the turbulence of perfect, carefree days. Whirlwinds are sometimes a good thing you know. A whirlwind of the past. Something that is supposedly gone reappears and you are left remembering why it is you chose to go there. The safety and the right feeling comes back into your world and even though you know you are supposed to move on to the uncomfortable unknown, the right can be right for two more weeks...right? My day yesterday was needle free and peach full. I have not had one of these days in so long. I do not know what scares me more, forgetting or remembering. While I am content to believe that I will never forget, am I supposed to remember? There is always that streak of color in the back of my head, the oh so familiar shades of bliss. I am moving through life and thoroughly enjoying my time here. Whirlwinds refresh me. They come on fast, they come on slow, they spin and twist and shake things up, leaving behind remnants of yesterday, and new bits of the undiscovered to unearth. I will do just that. I will pick up the remnants and build a most extravagant picture, complete with the unknown hope for tomorrow and the reality that the beauty of yesterday is real.

Today was Thursday

2010-09-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

Confession: So this lady went ahead and did me the great injustice of bringing over a pan of the best nanaimo bars I have ever eaten. I have eaten half of the freaking pan. At this point I am considering hurrying up and eating the other half of the pan so I can just get it over with and pretend like it never happened.

Hilarious Happening: Tripped coming out of the post office today. Dropped the mail. Only five cars were out front. I laughed in the most embarrassing pain. I also happened to put my shirt on inside out and backwards. I will not even attempt to explain that one.

Today: Today I got accepted to a study abroad program in England. I leave in January, and I have not been this excited about anything since the time rice crackers were on sale three for five bucks. Today Peter and I went shopping. I was not in the mood so I made it my job to entertain her to prove to her how tired I was. I flopped down on beds repeatedly at The Bay and dragged my purse around like I was seven. Not my most shining moment. Today I finished up a roll of black and white film which I can't wait to get developed. Today I did a lot of writing for other projects. Today I was happy as a clam.

Thought: Today I have been thinking about opportunities and taking chances. I suppose it is due to me getting accepted into this London program. My whole life I have wanted to travel to London. I have wanted to just be there. To sit on a bench and just soak every last morsel of it into me. This is where I was supposed to be born you know. These are my people. I know that I will never be the same after this trip. For awhile I have been so torn trying to decide what it is I should do. This is it. I should go and sit in a classroom in England. I should go and travel the sights and I should take a trillion pictures along the way. This is going to be a trip that I will look back on for the rest of my life. I know this because sitting here right now, there are tears flowing down my face. I once spent eight hours in London, in the airport and it was the best, worst eight hours ever. I wanted so badly to sneak away from my tour group to see the city, but now I get to be there everyday for months! Heaven on Earth. Aren't you so glad that we have this diverse world? Aren't you glad that what is normal somewhere isn't other places? I know I am. So here I go, to prepare for the trip and adventure of my lifetime. I can hardly wait.

09.22.10

2010-09-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

Confession: I am an independent person. Sometimes too much so, but that is just how it is... I try to be strong even when I am scared out of my mind... but let me let you all in on a big old secret. There are only a couple things in this world I flee from and shrink up and die over. One is needles. I loathe them. I wish they would all die in a fire. Baby, I know. You should hear me talk myself into getting one. "It is ok Spring it is really not that big of a deal. You have had a lot of procedures done on you now in life and this is just another one." "Spring just suck it up you freak, you are going to push children out of you one day, surely you can get a little bit of blood taken." Oh I know people. I am fully aware that it is a BIT ridiculous, but I cannot shake it. I have to get blood taken tomorrow and I will probably cry. Real tears. How embarrassing. I would rather get my arm chopped off... but of course then they'd probably give me a needle.

Hilarious happening: Today I peed in a cup. I do not know why this is such a hilarious happening for me... but without being too graphic or too gross can I just say that I REALLY suck at peeing in those cups. What? I pee in a cup and then hand a nurse my urine? Really? I know it is not a big deal because they are handed 27 cups of urine a day... but I don't even want to look her in the eye. I mostly just want to awkwardly look at my feet and not pee in a cup to begin with.

Thought: Today I have a thought about the classics. I just finished reading "Pride and Prejudice". Jane Austen always does it for me. I will admit sometimes I have to re-read her work because I find myself reading and only absorbing a small fraction of it, but she has soooo much talent. I notice people's diction, and when people speak properly and well, I love them. English accents make my heart sing because they make everything sound better. I could listen to them all day. I love the classics because they remind me how English is supposed to be put together. How we are supposed to talk. Isn't it sad that these people went to great lengths to create this complex, lovely language for us and we cannot even do them the justice of forming complete sentences? Beautiful expressions have now been replaced with horrendous abbreviations. Single letters are seemingly normal. This breaks my heart. I will remain old fashioned, classic loving, and abbreviation boycotting until the day I die.

Today: Tonight I walked in the door and my Peter told me she was making me a treat. Naturally my ears perked up. She had a cute little grin on, I knew something was up. She went ahead and made me celery with peanut butter and craisins on it. It was delicious. What a lady.

Today I told my Mom I could not possibly schedule in much more. My schedule currently consists of sleeping, eating, researching, and reading. None of which are all that mandatory.

Today I have been reading about the quirkiest, most fabulous artists ever.

Today I decided to get off my hiney and start running again.

Today I rode my most darling bicycle of course.

Today I consumed large amounts of pineapple.

Today I remembered I should be doing a million things rather than nothing.

Today I applied for jobs.

Today I was nostalgic.

Today I missed Chanch more than usual.

Today was grand.

How Lucky We Are

2010-09-21T17:55:00.000-07:00

I have started about seven blog posts in the past week. I have tried to decide what I should write about. Should I write about curve balls? Should I write about the unexpected? Should I jot down my random thoughts as usual? None of these things seem to do. I do not know how to express the thoughts that are in my head right now. I do not want to talk about what I feel like. Instead I think I will talk about how lucky I am, to ensure that I never forget. I must remind myself of this when it gets hard, or I may go a little loopy. I once took an Environmental Stewardship, which made my heart sing and was right up my alley. In this class we studied different areas of the world that were experiencing great tragedies. Today I look up at the Rocky Mountains and I fill my lungs with crisp, clean air, and the rest of me fills with the utmost gratitude. Gratitude to live in an area so beautiful it regularly makes people weep. Gratitude that results from simply clean water. Gratitude to my family. I do not know where to begin with this one. Usually I have words to express how much they mean to me and why, but on this day I am out of words. Let me just say that they have saved me. These people are beyond incredible. They give me strength, they believe in me no matter what. So these days I am off on a different kind of adventure. This is the kind of adventure that involves going back. Going back all the way to the bottom so that I might fix tomorrow. This journey involves getting well. I plan to learn, I am going to take a time out and I am going to take photos. I am going to read, really read, books that I choose to read! I am going to learn about people and places and things. I am going to prepare myself for what is next by being well. I am so lucky. Lucky to have people care about me. Lucky to have faith on my team. I am lucky to live twenty minutes away from Value Village so I can frequently purchase heinous pieces that have potential. I am lucky to have a large vat of pineapple in the fridge. I am lucky to have a brother who is hands down the best missionary. He really is the best. I took a poll and he wins in all accounts. We exchange emails every week and the Spirit that is about him is fascinating. He is the perfect example of how to love and be loved. He has met some amazing people, and will continue to do so. He dedicated two years of his life to a really great cause. He's my sweet little Chancho. This life is amazing and it is hard, but thank heavens for that.

Pete-ricia

2010-09-18T10:45:00.001-07:00

Today it is Peter's birthday. Do not let the name fool you, that is my Mother. Do not let that scare you, that is not her real name. Peter is really fabulous. Over the years she has taught me more things than I would ever be able to count, she has stayed true to what she believes, and she has had an incredible adventure along the way. So here is to you Peter. I will not disclose your age... but a five and a six always did look good together. Perhaps not the taut, shapely form of a two and a nine, but who is looking that close anyways. Thank you for being Peter. Thank you for teaching me how to truly scrub the dirt from the side of the tub, because I see now that the elbow grease is required. Thank you for teaching me that education is extraordinarily important. Thank you for always always always telling me to see the world. For telling me that I can do anything my little big heart desires. Thank you for making so many countless sacrifices, they are always recognized and appreciated. Thank you for making me fear the word "bored", because I will never be bored. Thank you for making me couscous salad every time I ask... and for the amazing care packages you whip up at the drop of a hat. Thank you for being so technology impaired, not only is it amusing, but it teaches me great patience. I am sorry that technology repels you, it is honestly not you it is the technology. Thank you for allowing my thirteen year old self to douse my bedroom walls in the most wretched neon pink color with neon green trim. Heaven only knows why I thought that acceptable, but you just bought the paint and let me go to town. I recall you even helping me paint! Next time perhaps you could try persuading me to something a little less hideous? Thank you for putting up with me when I was seventeen and wore too much black. Thank you for thinking I am hilarious, and laughing at me while I entertain myself for countless hours and shaking your head and saying: "oh Spring". This makes me feel like I have achieved ultimate freak level, and you know I long to be a freak. Thank you for making me appreciate art. You love it so much, and you are so talented in that area. Thank you for telling the whole town what my GPA was last term, but please never do that again. Thank you for bearing six children, the other five of whom are my absolute best friends. I believe I got my face bone structure from you as well, thanks for that? Thank you for teaching me to cook. Oh how I am thankful for that. Thanks also for your chocolate chip cookie recipe, it is the best one. Thank you for telling me to read a book. Thank you for always making sure I am doing something with my time. Thank you for letting me wear those heinous pink polka-dot cover-alls, against your better judgement I am sure. Thank you for paying my eight hundred dollar phone bill when I was an exceptionally daft sixteen year old. Thank you for going through labor to bring me here. I do not really want to think about that or my ovaries will start to weep, but just know I am grateful. Thank you for letting me be the youngest, I think it was supposed to be that way. Thank you for putting up with my all too independent self all the time. Recognize that I am fully aware I am this way. Thank you for being Peter. For so graciously and willingly serving people all the time, and mostly for teaching me to not litter, to appreciate the world, and to see as much of it as I possibly can. You are the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest.

Also thanks for the shortbread cookie fruit salad you are going to make me on Monday.

By Way of Announcement

2010-09-15T14:02:00.000-07:00

Today it has been discovered that if you just go ahead and switch the thermostat from air conditioning to heat the cold air will stop blowing and your apartment will no longer feel like a frozen tundra. This is just a little something Julia and I discovered. No big deal or anything.

It has also come to my attention that:

packing sure isn't my favorite thing.

I really adore weddings. Just not my own.

Some things, pictures especially, are not meant to be on Facebook people.

Julia and I are artists.

Gary is my hero.

Girls should reallyyyyyy watch how they sit and or get out of cars when clad in short, too tight dresses.

Anthropologie makes it really hard for me to stick to a budget.

Brad Pitt's body in fight club did not make me mad one bit.

I have this obsession with weird nail polish. My nails are always painted some bizarre color.

I am about to go to an interview for my study abroad semester in England and I'm shaking in my... navy blue cardigan?

I just really miss my nieces and nephews you know.

Fall is one of my favorite times of year.

A nice sunset really makes me grin.

Don't you love the word grin?

I don't think my toes have been warm for 3 weeks.

Peter sent me home made salsa and peach penguins yesterday. Best day ever.

She also sent me beets, which I am currently in love with. Don't act like that is creepy.

The stompers upstairs sure are stompy.

I really appreciate sunshine.

I am almost done my 900 page book. It is a good one.

That is all for today I guess

j;aoiulksdajflkajsdf

2010-09-14T23:23:00.001-07:00

That pretty much sums it up I would say.

Confessions

2010-09-12T20:39:00.000-07:00

You know those things that you keep to yourself that you never tell anyone because you swear you are the only one on the person who is that bizarre? Or you fear that people will make the quirks define you... well seeing as how the quirks already define me and this is my blog so I can write anything my little big heart desires, here you go.

I confess to having a big huge nerdy obsession with words. I get the dictionary word of the day email, and I try to memorize the word and use it that day and I get such a kick out of myself when I do.

I confess to having the sweetest tooth around. Now I LOVE vegetables ok... like I really really enjoy them almost more than anything except candy. I try not to love it, but I just do. Not even like chocolate necessarily and certainly not cake or anything like that. I am talking like swedish fish, sour patch kids, peach penguins, corn syrup infested type of candy. There I said it. If I had to choose between a huge meal and a bag of penny candy, I'd take the candy hands down anyday.

I love everything domestic. This is one I try not to broadcast because then it is instantly like oh my all she can do is cook and clean and sew... not true... but I just happen to love doing all of those things ok. I deal with it.

I adore wedding photography. It makes my heart sing.

I could watch videos of people falling for hours and most certainly wet my pants in the process.

I call my parents Gary and Peter and I do not know why but I will never stop.

A big giant craft store really gets me going.

On a regular basis I eat an entire bag or box of rice crackers in one day.

If I won the lottery I would build a hugeeeeeee house. I can't help that either, I just love houses.

I am a hugeee facebook creep. That one is the most embarassing. I only spend limited time on there, but I do enjoy a nice creep session. Gross I know.

I like the smell of skunk.

I also like the smell of nail polish remover and gasoline but those are a bit more normal I think?

I would love to be a mountain woman for a short-ish period of time. Maybe about 6 months.

I hate bible names.

I hate the word hate.

I really wish I could just be a professional traveller for a living.

I am impulsive.

I crack my knuckles and I really wish I didn't.

Little cafes make my heart sing and I always have to go in them.

I am creeped out by ribs.

When I was younger and couldn't sleep my Mom told me to count sheep and I did not know how. For some reason I thought you had to count them jumping over a fence so it just confused me and made me stay awake longer.

I am currently sitting here in a leopard print snuggie and I am not even ashamed.

This is the only animal print thing I own and I am so fine with that to the max.

I am a winter wuss. The freezing cold makes me bitter.

I do not know how to be confrontational but I am learning.

Little kids make my heart melt and so do babies.

I also have this weird thing with rags. I cannot use them more than about two times or I get the heeby jeebies.

Certain alarm clock sounds or loud single bell type noises make me nauseous.

Julia and I used to pretend we were boys and fight over the good cowboy boots and train ourselves to walk like men.

Weird things are fun aren't they?

Eleven

2010-09-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

Today was a roller coaster day... perhaps even a theme park one. Do you ever find yourself torn between picking the rock or the hard place when you know there is a deluxe, king size bed waiting just around the corner. The problem is, sometimes the rock and the hard place were once the most comfy surroundings. Over time they have hardened, and you know it is time to crawl out of the hole, but the effort that takes might just be something you do not possess. Today is September 11, and that has caused a lot of thinking to go on in my brain. I think back to what happened on this utterly devastating day and I feel such sadness. Why is it that the world became so corrupt that killing thousands of people, and as a result, torturing their loved ones, seemed like such a grand idea. This is a day that reminds me to love. I am reminded of my influence, and that I need to be one of good. I need to be good. I need to be a good person so that people don't stop believing in each other. I need to be the stranger who returns the five dollars you dropped, just because that is the right thing. I need to learn to inspire to do good. If I cannot accomplish amazing things then at least I hope I can encourage others to do so. This world is harsh, and it is violent, and it is so exceptionally extraordinary. So should we not work on preserving the extravagance, and try to create more of it? I believe we should.

Good News Bad News

2010-09-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

I have some good news and some bad news

I just ate sour patch watermelons for lunch...

classes start today...

I only have one today...

Naturally I have no class Fridays again, because I swore I would never take another Friday class again in my life...

Chancho has been out 6 months and 6 days...

It is Peter's birthday soon...

What should I get Peter for her birthday?

I have 117 things hanging in my closet...

I own a Wieners of Waterton shirt...

I miss Waterton, realllllllly bad...

I learned how to sleep in again...

My earliest class is at 5, and I should probably get a job...

It is poooooooouring rain outside... thanks Rexburg...

It is poooouring rain outside so I think I'll skip class...

Skipping class is ok when it is the first day and it is New Testament right?

ok I am back and I went to class...

I just drank my last vitamin water... I'm so mad.

There is a suuuuuuuuper cute giveaway on the amazingly talented Jennie Holt's blog. the things she makes are to die for, so check them out!

http://jennieandregan.blogspot.com/

Today

2010-09-08T22:02:00.001-07:00

Today I read a blog post about how you should post something on your blog every day. That you should just be yourself and let whatever comes out come out. I completely agree with this you know. Here I am, some little person, and I should just blog about whatever I blog about. So here I am today and here is what is on my mind. Well moving for starters. Moving causes SO many emotions to boil on up. For instance, who even likes packing. I used to. I used to have to restrain myself from packing weeks before I embarked on a trip, because I was too excited and packing meant I was actually going. Yeah that was when I needed two pairs of pants, a few shirts, and some underwear. Now I loathe packing. I leave it almost until the very last day and then I shove everything in a box and pray I got it all. All meaning pots, pans, cutting boards, knives, dishes, linens, a bed, every single thing. Geeeeeze murphy. So if any of you out there adore packing, I will be giving you a call in approximately... I don't even know when. But sometime. In brighter news, Julia and I are allll settled in to our apartment... and we are loving it. Yesterday we went ahead and created our first piece of artwork together, it is a masterpiece. I will one day post pictures... maybe. We also went to the cupcake cafe yesterday... I had some raspberry cupcake that changed how I think and function in life. It was sooooo good and I don't even like cupcakes that much. We also marched out of our rooms in matching outfits of course. Let the semester begin. Honestly I don't know what it is about this girl... but we are twins. The kind of twins that say the same thing and walk the same and just you know, we're freaks. My poor empty nester parents are holding up. They do not really know what to do with themselves you know. Once last year I marched in the house, went downstairs and almost died because it smelled like an old person basement. You know that smell of... like air that has not been breathed or something. Just kind of... old and lonely. Yup we have one of those now. Poor Pete and Gary. Bless their souls, they raised kids for 34 years and then I up and moved out one day. I think they will be alright though. I'll feed them when they can't do it themselves... but I'm so not doing any other business. We can make Taylor do that, he is super righteous and amazing. Can we also talk about PDA for a moment, just cuz this is the most random post I have ever written? Ok so a little PDA here and there is fine right... I mean how incredible that people love each other, I appreciate that. Old person pda? That is darling. BYUI pda? Get a life please and thank you :) Honestly I mean I am not even one to rant, but is it necessary to run into each others arms and make out before, during, after, and in between class? I mean I like people... but I don't think you all need to see how much. I love them though you know... I really do. If they weren't here doing that, what would I blog about? How Canadians rock because they take their shoes off at the door? Or the Chocolate and Dulce de Leche cake I am making this weekend? Either way it just would not be quite as interesting. So there you go people. Beats, Bears, Battle star galactica. I still really love blazers, skinny jeans, rice crackers, apples, long walks and good talks, fluffy white towels, being on top of one of the Rocky Mountains, looking around and realizing I am entirely miniscule and gaining an even greater appreciation for creation. I still love the written word and quirks. I love having our table constantly set for two, and getting ready naked. I love decorating and sewing too. I appreciate the occasional crooked grin and a nice pair of shoes. My icons are customized on my dock, and loud engines make my heart sing. This is random, and that is fine.

pulchritudinous

2010-08-29T13:01:00.000-07:00

...a form of beauty.

Here is what is beautiful lately...

I went to both Waterton and Banff this week, and those two places take my breath away. No seriously I cry when I go there because it is so beautiful.

I went to Ikea, and I adore that place.

I got to hang out with Brian, Caroline, and Paisley, all of whom are some of my very favorite people.

Julia and I went for lunch to Oshos, soooo good.

This coming week I have zero places to go, which is certainly a change.

I have been doing a lot of sewing lately... I swore I would not tell anyone what with all these domestic things I have been doing lately, but there you go. I sew too! crap!

This week I get to sift through my mountain of stuff and pack it all up. Thank heavens for music or I may hurt myself.

My Dad can still tell you the latest movie star gossip. Honestly, ask him anything. I love that man.

ummm I may or may not have consumed almost an entire CASE of peaches myself this last week and I am not even mad.

Jude Law has stilllllllll got it. So does Zac Efron, please don't judge me for that one, but honestly look at him.

I just consumed my body weight in broccoli. That may sound gross, but I cannot get enough broccoli or spinach.

Chancho is doing extremely well and writes the best letters ever. His old companion also added me on facebook, so that was fun to hear about Taylor as a missionary.

ummmmmmm peach penguins.

My hair is getting longer :)

I can smell Sunday dinner cooking, and it is going to be a good one let me tell you.

I bought a bike! It is to die for... vintage, navy blue, mmmmmm.

I got to go hiking with Dave, one of my other favorite people in the world.

I can hear the sound of rain falling and it is making me rather content.

Gary and I stay up late eating popcorn, talking, and laughing our eyeballs out.

I am back in the house that holds my beloved piano.

Lorne came to visit! You know... the one with the fascinating laugh!

I am going to go ahead and buy myself some school clothes this week.

Superstore is still my favorite store.

Costco is still incredible.

Taber corn anyone?

pulchritudinous. Life is beautiful because it is full of choices and colors.

Choices we are faced with, some we face willingly, others cautiously, and some recklessly. It is

beautiful because in it are mountain peaks, faces, eyes, hands, tears, trees, flowers, luscious grass,

and dessert. Life is beautiful because it can be. There is just too much potential to sit and rot in sorrow.

So look at the mountains, soak in the gorgeoussss sunsets, squeeze the ones you love, and sit and think

for awhile. Think about babies and gak if you would like. Perhaps potential and deeper meaning. Think

about why it all came together as it did, and where you are going from that moment. Just take some time

to be you, because that is what you are you know. You, great or small, influential or easily influenced,

but I promise you have brilliance inside of you. Everyone does.

Ghosts

2010-08-24T01:30:00.000-07:00

Being in Alberta, I am constantly haunted by old memories. Perhaps haunted is not the correct word, because sometimes they bring such joy with their creeping. I do not spend much time in Alberta. I suppose I try to stay because I thoroughly enjoy my independence and I am scared of what is here. Scared of what always comes to the surface. I remember here and there. Too many memories... These are memories oh so sacred. My very best days bottled into a few marvelous spots. My very first perfect memories. You are here and you are there. The first time for so many things. I grin over these memories, don't get me wrong, but sometimes tears accompany that grin. Somedays it is just too much. Those days were oh so very real. While life has moved on, and the future is gleaming with brightness and new things, the past happened. These memories made me who I am. They taught me how to be. So what do you do with your memories? Do you bottle them up and throw them into the sea only to be swooped away permanently by demolishing waves? Do you sigh and stick them on a shelf, hoping one day to find a use for them again? Do you welcome them back with hesitant, but open arms because you cannot forget that they are your best ones thus far? Do you polish them up like winning trophies and treat them as such? What is it? Me personally, I am not sure what I do with them. I suppose I do polish them up with my very best polish. They gleam so brightly from the back of my mind. Some days are days to be nostalgic. Days where I take these memories and I let them flood in. I let them flood in because they happened, so I sit with a grin on my face and I remember the way that it felt. The tingling in the toes, the weakness of the knees, the lack of air in the lungs, all the way up to the feeling of my head lying comfortably in the right spot. All for the first time. Other days I build up a dam so strong it would give the Three Gorges a run for it's money. Perhaps I build up a dam because my life has moved on and it is not fair to take these trophies down from their shelf and dwell on past events and feelings. Perhaps because it is not fair to the new things in my life. So there my memories lie in their fullest, most raw form. I will not ever forget them, they are much too precious for that. So one day when I am old and gray, with creations of multiple shelves of new trophies, I think I will be grinning through my false teeth, for the old ones are what helped the new to be.

Back In The Right Hands & Highlights

2010-08-15T23:38:00.000-07:00

Karen got home tonight! Hurray! The kids were soooooo happy to see her. Poor thing has not slept for a full day, so she is up in bed. First I shall give a few highlights of the last few days, because I did not post about them. I was far too busy for that kind of biz.

Grayson walked out of the room for a minute and came back with his shirt off. He says to me he says: "I know I am just a little guy, but my muscles really are big, look!" Then he flexed and I grinned because right there standing before me was my favorite boy in the universe.

Freya turned to me yesterday, completely out of the blue and said: "Ping, does Rowan have eyebrows?" ummm yes Freya she sure does.

We went out to "De Dutch" for breakfast. Dutch pancakes. Delicious.

Grayson earned enough money to buy a Star Wars lego set, and was happy as a clam on this day.

We ate tacos again. Deal with it.

Did I mention we went to science world? Well if I didn't, we sure did do that. We road the seabus and on the way back Freya was sleepy and so she cuddled with me and told me that she loved me to the moon and back plus more, I think I cried. I probably did.

Rowan came downstairs last night bawling because she did not want me to leave. It broke my heart that she was sad about it, but it made me so happy to know that she loves me enough for that. She then told me I did not need to go to school because her Mom could just home school me. I do not know how to explain that I really do HAVE to go. I am so sad.

We went to church, and then we went out to Milestones for dinner, it was grand. Freya is obsessed with pasta.

Have I mentioned how much I adore being in Vancouver. I could so live here, this place is absolutely beautiful, and I do not want to leave.

Like I said, Karen got home tonight, and although I am obviously so so happy, I am sad I only have week left here. This is my very best friend. This experience has been one of the most incredible, amazing, challenging ones thus far. I feel like I have learned 9876875 things this past twelve days. I have learned patience when Miley Cyrus is on constantly, when to just stop and give one of 'em a hug, how a little book can make me weep, feeling like I cannot have a shower because something might happen to one of them while I am in there, and how to clean in circles. I so appreciate these kids. I so appreciate my sister for doing this every single day and for raising her kids to be good people. That is really the greatest thing she could ever do. So here the kids are, back in the right hands. They are back in the hands so familar, the ones of their dear sweet Mom who loves them enough to wipe their bums and noses. The one who went through hell to bring them here. They are back with whom they belong. It is rather refreshing to see them together again. I feel like the world is just right again. I missed Selah oh so much, holy heavens babies should not be around me. I want to take her home... she is to die for. Her smell, her prescence, her cuteness, her everything, dangerous I tell you! This gift of life is the best one ever is it not. I think so.

Operation Soccer Mom Day Nine

2010-08-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

I think you will remember that me and nine do not do well together. However this nine was just fine! Hold on to your hats because we had a hilarious day.

Grayson woke me up to fix his lego set.
The kids brought up me getting married. They asked me when I was going to get married, and who I was going to marry. They planned my whole life actually. I am to get married VERY soon, have five kids at once, and live next door to them. I wish I would have recorded this conversation, I will never forget it. It was the most darling, hilarious, unlikely thing I have ever heard. When they told me I had to have five kids at once I almost fell off my feet. The conversation went a lot like this:
"well how many kids should we have?"
Rowan: "8!!!"
me: "8?! Are you crazy! I am not having 8 kids, that is wayyy too many! How about 3?"
Rowan: "3 is not enough!"
me: "ok fine, I will have 5. Five is my max."
Grayson: "ok fine but you have to have them all at the same time."
me: "At the same time?! What on Earth?! Look at my tiny little body, I cannot carry five kids at once, that would break me and make me this big and walk like this, where would I put them all?" (the motions were epic, just imagine them)
Grayson: "alright, well then twins, twins, and one"
me: "That sounds like something that might make all my hair fall out and make me a little loopy"
Rowan: "Alright well just five and you have to live next door so we can play anytime we want!"
All the while Freya was walking around the kitchen showing us her yoga moves saying: "yook what I can do!"

Today we... I cannot remember what we did.

We... went to the spray park in Stanley Park! We met up with my friend Byron and his Mom and nephew and niece.

I made raspberry pie and ate almost the whole thing myself. Thank you very much.

We watched Pokemon. I guess that is fine, even though I am against tv, not today.

Grayson drew me the most wonderful Star Wars pictures ever. He is an artist, truthfully!

Rowan and Freya got to pee in the woods.

After swimming we went for gelato. I walked past all the white options that clearly would have been best for Freya, and I went ahead and ordered her a bright blue bubble gum flavor. I have lost my mind, but she had fun.

Day 8 and Dear Peter

2010-08-11T23:22:00.000-07:00

Day 8 was...great?

I think I should start by writing Peter aka my Mother, a letter.

Dearest Peter,

I think you will remember the following:

Remember when you told me not to track water and mud in the house? I mopped the floor three times today, once for each kid. I now understand why.

Remember when I used to change 14 times a day and you told me not to? The laundry pile has confirmed to me this week why it was you did not like me to do that.

Remember when I used to splash water all over the bathroom floor and you told me not to? Yup, I understand why.

Remember when it used to be so frustrating that I did not eat my green beans and wanted rice krispy squares instead? Thank you for making me eat the beans. Sorry I did not try harder.

Remember when bed time was your favorite time of the day, and my least favorite? I now understand what you had been doing all day and that you were tired and just wanted to put your feet up and pretend laundry does not exist. Sorry for that one.

Remember when I would walk around the whole house eating my food instead of just staying in one room? Sorry.

Remember how you did this to yourself six times? What were you thinking?

Remember how you raised four of them on your own for awhile? Wow. That was a remarkable feat... I am so proud of you.

Remember how your kitchen was not a restaurant and I did not get why. Well I do now.

Remember how I used to wash my hands and leave a pool of water on the counter? Get that one now too.

I would also like to apologize for every time I made a beeline for the road and made your heart leap threw your throat. What a sickening feeling.

Today was an extraordinarily interesting day. I am coming to understand the anxiety and love Mom's experience on an every day basis. Freya got out of the car today and made a beeline for the road and my heart jumped out of my chest and I realized what that feels like.

I woke up to Freya telling me she needed a hug, and even though my eyes had not been closed near long enough, I opened them up and wrapped her in the biggest hug I could muster up, because she needed a hug, and because I love her.

The fact that bed time did not happen until three hours after it was supposed to last night resulted in a melt down of a day. We had some issues, but we laughed in between and had a lot of fun.

We filled up the pool and played out there. Freya saw it fit to come and tell me every time a drop of water went in her direction.

We went to Whole Foods and bought some berries to make the most delicious dessert.

Freya loves her some pasta, so I went ahead and made that for dinner.

We went to the movie store and rented some movies, then we ate our dinner picnic style and watched 'em.

Seriously that green balloon from the birthday party, heaven sent.

Looking back time has flown.. I have a whole new outlook, a ravenous appetite, and a whole lot of love for these three.

Operation Soccer Mom Day 7

2010-08-11T08:55:00.001-07:00

We woke up and had hot chocolate and toast for breakfast. Don't judge me, it was a healthier version of hot chocolate I swear.

Thank heavens for the balloon we brought home from the birthday party. That blessed thing has been keeping them entertained for hours.

We went to the playground today. What a good idea Spring, take them to the playground, get some writing done while they play, it will be lovely. False. Who invented playgrounds anyway, I mean I love the things don't get me wrong, but I am not working out for a month. All that lifting, pushing, pulling, and running? I am sore.

I got woken up at 6:39. This hurt me.

We attended Max's bug party tonight. That was a grand time. Laura is such a great Mom.

A lady scoffed when I told her the three kids were not mine, and then told me I could pass for someone around thirty. I almost cried. I mean I really don't think I do, but who wants to hear that.

We had a treasure hunt of course.

We burnt some chocolate chip cookies. I have not done that in years, but it really was the oven, I forgot you have to go by the thermometer inside not the actual numbers.

We went to Wal Mart to buy Max a gift and the new Star Wars lego is here! Grayson can hardly contain himself.

My Dad got put in the bishopric in a student ward in Lethbridge. I might cry if I write about how proud I am, so I will save that for a later post. Let me just say that the Parkside ward is the luckiest ward in the world to have him.

I made Freya wear my favorite dress of hers, she hated it at first but soon loved it. It is green and has stripes and a little floral print on the inside and a matching floral belt. Pushing her on a swing in that, with her little ponytail wagging was the reason for my liquid heart today.

A whole week has gone by. I can hardly believe it. We are having so so so much fun, and this experience is a grand one.

At ten o clock tonight when all three kids were awake and I thought I might very well lose my mind officially, Freya comes running down and says: "Ping! Ping! Ping! I just need a hug. Then she stood there with her arms by her side, her eyes looking up at me, and then I picked her up and told her that I loved her to the moon and back even though she was causing my forehead wrinkles to be deeper than ever, and my hair to fall out, and people in the grocery store to look at me as an underage mom of three. Then I sent her up to bed for the seventeenth time and turned on the food network.

Operation Soccer Mom Day 6

2010-08-09T21:35:00.000-07:00

Today was exceptional. Of course I did not put make up on, again. I also wore an Arizona State shirt all day long, so what...

Here is what happened today :)

Freya woke me up at 6 o clock. Yes 6. I put her into bed with me and we cuddled :)

Then Rowan let me sleep in until 9. That child is magnificent.

The three of them talked me into making waffles for breakfast. We have been eating a lot of breakfast food lately.

We played for awhile and then we walked to London Drugs to buy some big sheets of paper.

We brought that paper home, took off our clothes, ok fine I left mine on.. and then we proceeded to finger paint our little hearts out. This was quite a chore and a huge mess... but hopefully they had fun.

We had Freya's favorite lunch, that was great... then she took the longest nap ever while the kids and I cleaned up.

The daily treasure hunt today was not my best... but the prize made up for it I suppose.

I made taco soup for dinner, Grayson and Freya loved it, Rowan was not a fan.

Next up, FHE... I think I now understand why sometimes Mom's cry during FHE. I look back and remember when there would be six kids, all of us not happy to be there, and all of us doing something different to avoid listening. Today we learned about faith... later on Rowan had faith to win the game we played. I think I REALLY got the point across on the true meaning of faith. We sang a song, then we had ice cream with homemade cookie dough. Delicious. You know when movie stars say that watching the kids keeps them fit? Well amen to that. I am running my face off and I am always hungry and I feel like I eat constantly and am gaining a hundred pounds...but I am not.

After FHE was the real treat. A dance party. That is right a dance party. We may or may not have danced our faces off to Pearl Jam. Sorry about that one Karen... they need to learn to appreciate good music. The moves that went down in this living room were epic. That is all I will say.

I then tucked them into bed 8 times. The eighth time was great.

I think maybe I should write some more on this post to remind myself and people that I am still a normal human being. This experience has been really great. I have really learned a ton, not just about these lovely kids and what I will do in the future and what not, but I have learned a lot about myself. Being a Mom will be the most important job I ever have to do, so I appreciate this opportunity to learn and grow and see what it is like. I could not do this without someone watching over me. I would go insane. When the kids are head to toe in every color of finger paint, I can grin and fill up the bath tub, because this is just another day. This is them learning and growing and realizing how much I love them. Naturally I do not yet know what it is like to have your own children and to have a heart capable of loving that much, but I got a glimpse of that this last week. I love them enough to march around North Vancouver with not a drop of makeup on, and enough to tuck them into bed and tell them that I love them to the moon and back eight times. I am excited for my future. I am excited to be back in Rexburg. I never imagined that, but I enjoy being on my own. I enjoy the spirit that I am able to feel there. I enjoy being in school and gaining knowledge and experience. I love to meet new people, and to see the old ones too.
Now can someone please buy me some jeans. I really need new ones and me and jeans are worst enemies. I am serious, I do not know what it is but we hate each other. When I do meet a good pair, we are great friends, but that is about one in twenty pairs. Also, what the heck is with all these online dating commercials. Now they are telling me that one in every five relationships begins online. I just cannot believe that. I am sure the fact that I live in a place where dating is on steroids has nothing to do with my lack of faith in eHarmony, but seriously.

me and my cravings are going to go drink some tea, because I cannot eat cookie dough ice cream this late and that is all i REALLY want. Spastic much.

Operation Soccer Mom Day 3-5

2010-08-09T16:35:00.000-07:00

Soccer mom day three

Whewwwwwwwwww

Day three was lovely.

Here is what went down today:

Rowan had her last day of swimming. She got to go down the water slide three times
and was in heaven.

We went straight to Gray's soccer camp, it was world cup day. He represented Spain :)
he played goalie today and did soooo well. He was good enough that they picked him to
play with the older kids. His team placed third.

We went to Boston Pizza to celebrate the last day of their activities.

Rowan and Freya had a bath and flooded the bathroom in the five minutes that I left
them alone.

Grayson had a playmate so the girls and I had girls night. We watched care bears, ate
popcorn, and painted our nails.

Day four

Have you ever taken a 2 year old, a 5 year old, and an 8 year old swimming by yourself? I do not recommend this.

To tell you the truth I cannot remember what really went down on this day.

Freya was cuddly and that was happy.

We went to superstore where I went on a power shopping trip... In order to keep the
children happy.

We had subway for dinner, Rowan fell asleep eating.

Did i mention that each day Freya and i have a conversation that goes like this: aunt
ping guess what! What Freya?! Once there was a monster. That is right a monster.
Scary. Monster.

Day five

Today we went to church. It was lovely just to have a scheduled event to be at.

Rowan drew me a picture in church that said I love you. Grayson drew me one of two
Jedi knights fighting, with light sabres. Awesome. Rowan also drew me as a butterfly.

I was in the process of drawing Rowan when Freya paused to tell me the drawing of Rowan's head looked like a bagel. She was right.

During the prayer Freya started praying, speaking soooo loud hahaha I was helpless, she
would not stop and it was hilarious.

Grayson is going through internet withdrawals. Not that he is even allowed on there that
much, but he needs to be able to look at Star Wars Lego.

We made dirt and worms. Delicious?

We had some lovely tacos for lunch.

Did I mention we have a daily treasure hunt?

I told the children to hurry and march into the kitchen like they were in trouble and then
proceeded to make them eat an Oreo dipped in peanut butter.

Rowan and Freya are obsessed with having baths. They beg all day long until I finally
let them at bed time.

We are having famous Grandpa Rod fried egg samiches for dinner.

Only one more week, and I am both happy and sad.

The girls were saying their prayers tonight and then I started to cry. Rowan said the
sweetest things in the world. Then i was leaving their room and Rowan says to me she
says WAIT! Aunt Spring I love you to the moon and back plus way way way way way
more plus the earth plus way more than you can even imagine. Then I felt my whole
soul melt. Then i grinned through my tears and suddenly the entire day was worth that
little minute.

Operation Soccer Mom Day Two

2010-08-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

Today was hot. I am very hot and I even sweated a bit. We had a fun day today, here is what went down:

We filled up the pool and played in there for a bit.

I drown a bee and become a hero.

We drew with sidewalk chalk. Rowan wrote "I love Gray" which was darling. She is the sweetest thing.

We cleaned the car, Grayson helped me vacuum and earned some money for some star wars lego.

There was a LOT of tickle bug involved.

A lady at whole foods told me my daughters looked JUST like me. Thank you for that one.

My forehead wrinkles have never been so deep.

We had a treasure hunt.

We went to starbucks where Rowan managed to drop her hot chocolate all over herself not once but two times. No use crying over spilt hot chocolate. She had her dress on sideways anyways so we flipped it and no one even knew she spilled. Totally intentional, I plan for these kind of incidents.

We ate some peaches, mostly Freya and I.

Rowan gave Freya an airplane ride which made me grin.

We sat on the stairs and tried to see who could do the best Darth Vader impressions. Lions and tigers and others as well...this resulted in Grayson and Rowan seeing who could get the most spit on the others face. Remember that game? Awesome.

Grayson was so amazing all day, I had to keep telling him how much I appreciated him. To award him I am letting him watch Star Wars tonight. For me that would be punishment, but to him it is the best thing I could ever do.

I read the girls this darling book I gave them and then I cried because I love them so much...these hormones I tell you.

Rowan had a bath and manged to dump about six buckets of water on me, that was a test.

Tomorrow is the last day of soccer, then I will just be a fake soccer mom?

Tomorrow we are going to the pet store, wish me luck with that one please and thank you.

Rowan promised I would not see her one time tonight after I put her to bed, lets see how that ones goes.

Have I ever told you that I love doing laundry? Probably not because that falls into the category of "secret domestic nerd traits" that I really try to not disclose. There I go, disclosing.

I am still one hundred percent sane, here is to ten more days of this lovely life :)

Operation Soccer Mom Day One

2010-08-04T21:01:00.001-07:00

Was a complete success?

We had waffles with mounds of whipped cream and strawberries AND syrup on top.

Freya told me she loved me to the moon and back and made me cry.

Grayson was exceptionally helpful and amazing and that almost made me cry too.

I got about three hours of sleep last night and apparently my hormones were all over the map.

These three made me laugh about 3987 times.

I am in love with these children.

Tomorrow we are having a dance party in the kitchen and coloring with side walk chalk.

Freya calls me boo-ya Grandpa

Rowan is so loving it makes my heart sing.

I appreciate my sister's job SO much more now. I mean I knew it was a lot of work... but three of them constantly with no help (I know Karen has Russ who is amazing to help, he is just at work sometimes) is quite the job.

Rowan went to swimming lessons and never wanted to get out.

I am praying my little heart out that they stay this good and that none of us have a melt down.

I miss Selah.

Everyone thinks these kids are mine... what the heck?

Eleven more days to go.

Selah Harlow

2010-08-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

She is beautiful. Excuse the picture, my camera died so photo booth will have to do. Selah Harlow is my newest niece. I love each and every single one of them, they are all so exceptionally beautiful. Spending time around my nieces and nephews is something I adore! It is so fascinating to watch them discover things, and to gain a personality. Each one of them is so unique and so special to me. Selah is the newest, and I am in love with her. She is gorgeous, her little face is perfect. Her and I got to spend some time together today while everyone else left, and she was grinning, and my heart became a puddle. I could hold her all day long. I am so excited to be here for two more weeks :) Vancouver is lovely, and so are each and every one of the kids. They make my life so bright and they definitely keep me entertained.

In other news, I smell like baby vomit, and today Rowan opened four cans of tuna at 8 in the morning, on the couch. She was just making breakfast for the whole family. What the? The couch now smells like tuna, that is just awesome because well, why wouldn't you want your couch to smell like tuna? and why wouldn't the whole family want tuna for breakfast? Weirdos...

For the love.

2010-08-01T23:53:00.000-07:00

Since when is seven weeks one thousand one hundred and seventy six hours. Since when does it feel like a lot more. Odd.

Beautiful Because

2010-07-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

Each one of my days is filled with many marvelous things. I make sure to find something to grin about each and every day. Today life is beautiful because:

I am in Vancouver...

Vancouver is exceptionally beautiful...

I get to look out the front door and view the ocean...

Tomorrow we are going boating, all day...

I am surrounded by family...

I came here with my brother Dave :)

My best friend lives here...

I bought fresh peaches from Granville Island...

I get to watch three of my favorite kids for two weeks...

I am moving back in six weeks from today...

New things are creeping into my world...

I am missing things on a whole new level...

Jane, we are going on two days short of one month here, that means 9 days was a long time ago..

I just ate the most delicious Mediterranean salad...

I got into good classes...

I had animal crackers for lunch...

There is a whole vat of watermelon in the fridge with my name on it...

Messages make my heart sing...

My niece's new favorite toy is a stairmaster...

I am in Canada...

I ate a lot of onions in the last 24 hours...

I got to hold new baby Selah for the first time, and because she is precious...

Babies smell divine...

Dave poked me with his "pregnant" belly today...

We stayed up last night watching youtube videos and cackling with laughter...

My siblings are all amazing...

Simplicity is extravagant...

Life is beautiful because it is... because it is easy to view the good things if you simply try. Life is beautiful because it is a gift, and because it is short. Life is beautiful if you just let it be.

Countdown to What?

2010-07-22T16:24:00.000-07:00

My life is continuously being measured in weeks. Six weeks left of this, three until that, one since something or other. Lately it has been three, two, one week left of the semester. Three weeks left was exciting, invigorating even. Two weeks hit and I was in trouble. Two weeks hit and suddenly fourteen days was not enough. I wished for forty. One week was the worst. Suddenly here was bliss and it came with a countdown. A countdown that expires Saturday at five am. I'm not one who anxiously awaits bliss with open arms. I am not one who chases bliss down, captures it, steals it, and makes it hers. I am careful. I wait. The truth is I have been waiting so long. Wrapped up in the first one that made me truly and one hundred percent weak in the knees. The one that was real, I will never be able to deny that. So here is this new form of bliss, and I am ready. I am ready because I said goodbye to the one that changed me. I said goodbye to the one that I fell for and was caught. I said goodbye to peaches and rain, to baseball games, and to him. It got easier to say goodbye. The first time I thought I would never be the same. I thought I would spend years curled up on the banks of Waterton lake lost, pouring my soul into notebooks and to my rock. The rock that became the only solid thing in my life. It was a love story you know. It was lame in the most marvelous ways. I had no doubt, I was sure. I don't regret that. I don't regret a summer of peaches and rain. I learned from that... I was holding on because I am careful. I wait. What am I waiting for I finally decided? What was it about day nine that was so awful? I was waiting to trust myself. I was waiting to be good enough. I was waiting to let myself be weak in the knees again. I was waiting to learn how to let someone else in. One day I realized that I was ok. One day I realized that maybe I can make someone else happy. There he was. There he was at the perfect moment. There he was storming into my life and winning me over. So here I am, won over. Here I am stuck with not even forty eight hours left. Here I am with potential, because I'm coming back. Here I am stronger than I used to be. Here I am more sure of who I am than ever. Here I am ready. I am ready for you. I am ready because my knees are not. I am ready because you are exceptional. I am ready because you are capable of making me grin with very little effort. Here I am ready because... because this is all I have. I am Spring. I am me, I have a plan, I have talents and gifts, I have quirks and a million things wrong with me, but I am me and you are you. This is an adventure... and... it is you.

Strike Two

2010-07-20T21:05:00.000-07:00

So remember that one time I wrote about how I got stressed for the first time? It went a whole lot like: today I am a silly seventeen year old girl who doesn't know what she is doing with her life so I got stressed, and then three minutes later I laughed it off. Well people, I am older, I might even be wiser, and I was stressed. I admit it. I am owning up to it. I might even still be stressed. It is hard when you don't know what you are doing with your life, who you are doing it with, or where. I am pleased to announce I have figured out the majority of that list. I'm happy as a clam. Today was a better day. I sure am grateful for all that surrounds me in this exceptionally brilliant world. Imagine if I had real problems like finding clean water to drink.

Popsicles, Saturday, and one week.

2010-07-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

I am obsessed with Crystal Light popsicles. I would eat three a day if I wasn't trying to ration them. I'm currently sitting here enjoying a ruby red pomegranate one, and just typing that makes my mouth flood with red dyed saliva. It is Saturday, and I don't have majorly important things to do, which means it is a great day. It is a great day because I get to have a nap soon, and because I have one more week. One more week in which I am sure perfection will continue to flood my days. A special form of perfection.
Lately I have been greatly blessed. I have been blessed with strength to overcome a lot of things, and to experience growth. This year at University has been a great one for me. Surely I have changed, but I think it is mostly for the better. My life will be different from here on out. This is actually a particularly comforting thought. I have been taught who I am, I have gained an understanding of how I work, and I have accepted that. I have embraced the thought that not only am I going to be ok, I can even be great if I choose to be. I can be humble if that is what I desire most. I can be spontaneous and adventurous, and I can gain knowledge I never thought I would. I can mess up, and I can meet a LOT of freaks. Thank heavens for that. I can be a completely huge domestic nerd and embrace that too. I am also capable of falling up the stairs and making a complete fool of myself on a regular basis, don't worry.
Isn't this great? Isn't it lovely to see the good in people instead of the bad? Isn't it refreshing to gain new acquantances and friends? Is it not one of the most lovely things to talk a walk with your thoughts in nature? It is! It really, truly is. It is amazing to wake up each day in a safe place in a warm bed. It is lovely to be surrounded by people who are goal-oriented, and who have a vision of what they want out of this life. It is lovely to meet people who have absolutely no idea where they will end up, but they are enjoying their journey anyways.
So here I go, off on a one week adventure. I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know if I will finally fall face first off of a new cliff, I don't know if I will step back and find something else, but I think I'll choose to dive right off that cliff. I think I will fall because it is time for something new, and here is the opportunity. I think I'll fall because I'm learning how to perfect my landing.

What I Have Become

2010-07-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

Today I was at the library, my day was going a lot like this: a;kj;oaidfkajsd;fkjasf. I had a huge paper due on Globalization in France, which I mean is interesting on a good day, but not this day. I don't even know how I came across this video, but I did. I started to watch it, because I love Elder Holland. Who knew it was going to be exactly what I wanted to hear. Who knew I was going to cry in the library. What has become of me. Here is what... I have become a girl who is sure of a couple things, and ok with the rest. I have become strong, and disciplined. I have become even more independent, and curious. I have become me. I have learned who I am, and I am ok with that person. I have become this person that is constantly trying to better myself, because that is the wise choice. I have accepted my quirks, and owned up to them even. I have become the proud owner of a fabulous compilation of recipes. I have become owner to a collection of shoes that makes my heart sing. I have formed goals and hopes and dreams. I have learned when to take charge (this was hard for me) and when to let things go. I have learned to appreciate my surroundings even more. I have learned to be still. I am ok with being alone. I am ok with strange people surrounding me. I am ok with being a student at byu-Idaho, even though I have no idea how I ended up here. Somedays I have seventeen plans lying before me, and I have absolutely no clue which one to pick. Some days I am the girl with seventeen different plans and not one clue. I am the girl that gets on her knees, because I see the significance of prayer. I see how exceptionally in tune and aligned my life is when I make conscious efforts to develop this relationship. Some days I am quiet, quiet because I am pondering. Pondering my environmental stewardship, or perhaps how fascinating the make up of the human body is. Somedays I am pondering how on earth it is possible to be surrounded by so many freaks :) Then I realize how much I appreciate the freaks. I love them with all my heart. They make my life interesting. They teach me how to be open to new ideas and the unexpected. I have stayed the girl from Raymond Alberta, Canada. I have stayed blonde and blue eyed. I have stayed a lover of the written word, and a fresh box of rice crackers. I have learned what it is I want out of this world, and how to work towards that. I have stayed quirky, but I have become this. Experiences have made me become her. Spring, and somedays when I think she may be a raging lunatic, I would rather just be her.

What Nine Once Was...

2010-07-12T19:29:00.000-07:00

So one of the great things about me being so weird, is that I up and grew a fear of commitment. Not so much one of those psycho, not capable of trusting ones, just fearful of settling down and starting my life too soon. So I go on dates, I meet guys, I even develop the occasional stalker, and by occasional I mean probably one a month. I don't know why. It is fun, it makes my life interesting. Rarely have I found one that I am capable of admitting to actually liking. So nine became significant. Nine was my number, I could last a maximum number of nine days, and then I was out of there. Having the awkward, dooming conversations, and feeling like maybe the most horrible person on the planet. I'm pleased to announce nine has taken a new form. Cloud nine thank you very much. I am up there, I don't know when I'm coming down, but I don't think it will be any time soon, I quite like this actually...

C-A-N-A-D-A

2010-07-10T15:40:00.000-07:00

I was born in Canada. I lived in Canada for 18 years, and then I moved to the United States for school. Coming here, I knew where I was from, I appreciated my roots, but I did not think an awful lot about it. Time after time I was asked where I was from, Canada is always my reply. I would receive a whole lot of reactions, some good, some bad, some skeptical, and some rude. I started to gain some pride for being Canadian. I found myself having to defend my delightful country numerous times a day. I am fine with this :) I love where I am from. I have travelled to a few countries, I love things about them all, but Canada will always be home. Canada will always be rolling hills, hockey, poutine, and dear to my heart. No matter where I end up I am grateful for where I came from. I am grateful for all that I was taught. I'm grateful for how I was raised, for the schooling and education I was able to receive, and for the effort that goes into such things. I'm grateful for socialized health care, because that is what works for us, so don't get too hung up on that. When I think Canada I think my family and my friends.

My delightful Peter of a Mother who has taught me so much. I'm grateful for the way she raised me, and for teaching me to cook and clean. Not because this is all I want to amount to, but because some people genuinely were not taught these simple tasks. I am grateful for her not being ok with scum around the tub, and for making me scrub with all my might. I'm grateful for her teaching me that things are better homemade. My one roommate didn't know you could make icing. WHAT THE? She looked at me like I was nuts the first time I made homemade icing. I found this so entirely odd, because homemade icing? That is just what you do. I guess not though. My Mom is a lovely lady.

I'm so grateful for diversity among countries, for languages, cultures, and people of all sorts. I'm grateful for where I came from, for opportunities I have to share in what my country believes. I love that I have the freedom to come and go as I please. I love that there were citizens willing to fight for that freedom. I love that my ancestors chose Canada as their home. I love that Canada is family and friends. I love my home and native land, and even the lovely maple leaf.

Today

2010-06-25T22:13:00.000-07:00

One year ago today something incredible happened. Imagine feeling as though the entire world is at peace, imagine a day where every single thing seems to go right. Your mouth is constantly formed into the most giddy of grins, you know the kind where your cheeks ache from smiling so much. Imagine bracing yourself because you feel that at any moment you may be shot high up into clouds of joy. Your days seem to blend into one exceptionally great tornado of raging bliss. Imagine standing still with the one who has just taken you by storm and made you fall, completely and entirely. I am so insanely happy to say I have felt just like this. These days have consumed my life. I have been won over. I even became lame, who knew. This all began one year ago. It is insane to think that it has been one year. How everything has changed, how we have changed.

Everyone needs to fall at some point you know. I was always scared of just this, I suppose I still am. It used to be that I was scared to let anyone in at all, and then I found myself wanting to do just that. This scared me as well, and now I lock myself away, complete with a nine day guarantee. As in I can remain interested in someone else for a maximum of nine days and then I realize I am kidding myself.

So here is to riding on the same longboard, to peaches and to rain. Here is to the first time, and still. To summer dresses, weekend grins, and surely magnificent and never boring conversation. Here is to Harley's, barbecues, and three a.m. To learning new things, new ways, and new emotion. Here is to wit, go time, and Transformers 2- where it all began. To many smiles, a constant swarm of butterflies located in my stomach, fireworks, birthdays, baseball, and Waterton.

Perhaps why that place is so dear to my heart is because it saw me at my best. Waterton held me up and gave me reason to appreciate all that is around me. It humbled me, and kept my secrets. It encouraged me to write, to poor my heart and soul into page after page. I write to sort out my thoughts. I write to remember and I write in hope to forget. Maybe I can help others to remember, and maybe I can help them to forget. Perhaps I can give them something to work with, something to ignite their imagination and bring them joy, that or a few hours of entertainment. I have learned all of this because I have learned who I am. I have learned what makes me tick. Obviously I do not have it all figured out, but I'm having a wonderful time trying.

So it has been one year. One year where you have helped me become this person. One year where you have become a part of me. A year which contains my best days thus far. One year of some heart break, but a lot of heart singing that makes it all ok. To change and growth and a whole lot of brilliance. To three hundred and sixty five days. To June 26th.

My Future

2010-06-23T19:51:00.000-07:00

So here is what I am doing next year...

Study abroad program in England

Taking off to Europe and seeing it all.

Working.

Teaching English in Asia somewhere...

Going to Hawaii for a month and being a bum.

Going to BYU-H

Going to BYU

Staying home and working and traveling to wherever I please whenever

Preparing myself for a mission

Learning Spanish

Dropping out of school, traveling, and writing a book or two

Nannying someplace

Living in Waterton

Teaching piano

Oh are you confused? Oh you still don't know what I'm going to do next year? Ohhhh me neither. At least I have some pretty good plans don't you think? I'll pick one one day. I may put them all in a hat and pull one out and do that. I may take of to Thailand for a month and spend my life savings. I may marry someone from England and just move there. I may do a lot of things, I may do nothing, but I promise I'll be happy along the way. I promise I will still write in my love book, and find new things to adore. I promise each and every single day will be an adventure. I will meet new people, and I will love them. I will still love the one I loved very first. I will cry, I might even cry in a foreign country. I might cry because I am so overwhelmed by the beauty of the creation which stands before me. I might cry because some sweet, innocent child says something brilliant and moving. I might cry because I miss things. I might cry because I'm so happy that the tears will flow along with the cramping of my abdomen. I will still have my roots, because those I am sure of. Those I am stuck with for life. No matter where I go I am still going to be a quirky blonde from Raymond, Alberta Canada- Home of the first stampede?

Speaking of which, I'm headed there one week from today. I do not think I could be more excited. Except if my two research papers up and wrote themselves, that may excite me a bit more. Or if I had a large vat of Canadian rice crackers, we all know what that does to me. Sends me through the wall with joy I tell you. Perhaps while I am rambling I should write about my new best friend? Well the greatest part about him is that he is sturdy, some might even say bland, but at least he is consistent. He is made of wood, stained brown, and there is plenty of him to go around. He is a desk, located in the David O McKay library. We have this love hate relationship. I love when I spend time there and it shows, but sometimes looking at him makes me bored so I write blogs instead of papers on environmental stewardship.

I went on a brilliant walk yesterday. So spectacular, the sun was setting and I got goosebumps on the future location of my relief society arms. You know, that upper arm part that will one day sway in the wind. Then as I was strolling along a girl tripped and let out a yelp and I had to run down the hill so she would not notice my grin which turned into laughter. It made my night I am sorry to say. I mean that you know, I really do feel sorry for that happening, and for grinning as I think about it now.

And for making you read until the end of this post if you have not left already. I would not blame you, my headband is squeezing my head rather tight and now look what I have done. This.

Warmth

2010-06-20T14:20:00.000-07:00

Perhaps one of my favorite things is the sunshine. I don't like its rays to bask into my skin and turn me into leather, but I love the warmth it brings. The warmth in turn gives me great joy. My mouth forms into an almost permanent grin as I haul out my flip flops and summer dresses. My days lately have been full of all of these things, permanent grins, flip flops, dresses, and surely warmth. Warmth that comes from the delicious weather we are receiving, and warmth that comes from people and my surroundings. Each day I try to spend as much time as I possibly can appreciating these things in one form or another. Yesterday I appreciated them ten fold thank you very much. Yesterday was an exceptionally beautiful day.. as it turns out not much has changed. There is still a particular grin that makes my heart sing, and that makes me weak in the knees. There is still a presence that takes my breath away. What I am getting at is that there is certainly no need to worry, I am still lame. Ohhh and I still eat rice crackers for almost every meal.

Let me describe to you a perfect, brilliant walk full of new discoveries. Each day I leave my apartment, and I just start walking. I do not ever like to go the same route. I like to mix it up a bit, I like to walk somewhere I have never been. This is how I think, one foot in front of the other, my eyes on my surroundings, making everything seem so simple. Then I start to think of the complexity of everything and it makes me grin. I grin because each and every leaf is so intricate and divine. I grin because there is the most darling lady who has an entirely lovely garden. The kind that you see in magazines that you wish you had, that and a gardner for the upkeep.

Then I see all the kids, and they make my heart sing too. I notice the way they keep at the same task, and they never get bored because they have imagination. They make something from nothing, and that makes me pleased to know that they do not always have to be plugged in to something or other. It makes me laugh because they have the sweetest personalities. My two year old niece calls and leaves me messages, and that is to die for.

I get to go home in ten days, that is brilliant as well. I can hardly wait to see the reason for my greatest days, Waterton, Big Scoop, friends, family, poutine, my lovely swing, Southern Alberta, and just allllll that comes with it.

Who knew? and I love..

2010-06-15T22:38:00.000-07:00

Who knew:

Sprouts would become one of my favorite foods?

Elder Uchtdorf would become one of my favorite speakers?

When you spill something on the floor, you usually just go ahead and pick it up...

If you only do your laundry once a month, your room smells. Not my laundry or my room.

Roommates would be so special?

There was an amazing chocolate shop here this whole time. Thank heavens I didn't know that until now.

Running out of sonny boy would be so sad?

Watching people fall down stairs would still bring me to tears of laughter.

My sociology teacher could be so brilliant?

The boy I was about to date 2 months ago would get engaged?

Someone was capable of consuming a four pound bag of m&m's in one weekend. Again, not me.

I would miss Waterton so much?

Boy(s) from Virginia would be so creepy?

I would crave waffles for months on end but never eat them.

Perfection would come back into my days, in the form of something that is still amazing. Amazing in new and different ways, but he's still got it... :)

And as of late I love:

The farmers market. I go every single Friday, and it just is to die for.

Sesame seeds...

countdowns

knowing that Waterton is only 12 days away.

Knowing that I only have 5 weeks left of the semester.

Playing the piano.

Washington.

Longgg walks.

Luscious green gas.

The art gallery.

Strawberries.

Popsicles.

Mystery.

Angels and Demons- just read it, loved it.

Getting my school work done early.

Visitors.

Chancho's emails.

The food network.

Mexican food.

Flowers.

Vintage.

Babies.

and really a lot of random things, as usual...

One of the best...

2010-06-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

Today I shall write a post about my lovely friend Jane. I write about things that influence me, move me, make me happy, or that are particularly great. Jane is all those things. You see we met just a little over a year ago. We are shy at first, but soon we were sharing cheese and crackers and matching visors, and we have become long lost very close friends. Jane is b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l. I'm talking darling, like gorgeous big brown eyes and a wonderful smile kind of beautiful. I'm talking heart of gold kind of beautiful as well. She is talented, and she is wise. Jane is patient, ohhhh how this girl has patience. She has the ability to remain positive and to see the good. I have learned so much from her. We have probably had longer facebook chat conversations than anyone. We spend hours and half the time I'm tearing up, the other half falling out of my chair laughing at her wit, and I always know she is too. Jane met someone special about the same time I met him, the skinny jean wearing one. All Summer I watched her fall, and I watched her grin, and I watched her create bumps, and she watched me do the same. This year she has grown as a person so much, I just love to hear her stories and see where she is at. Now she is embarking on a grand new adventure in the Fall, and that makes me so happy. She is going to be brilliant, she is a total knock out, and she is surely going to be one of the most sought after girls at byu. So thank you Jane. Thank you for being able to maneuver around Facebook in the creepiest ways possible, with me right by your side. Thank you for being beautiful. Thank you for wearing darling little skirts in the summer, and for laying on the dock with me for hours. Thank you for the shift from hell, and remaining calm when my car randomly disappeared. Thank you for always having that dang mop handy. Thank you for sharing in each incredible moment of my life, as well as the ones that were heartbreaking, and thank you for letting me do the same. Thank you for being simply Jane :)

Losing Superman

2010-06-01T07:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I did something I have never done before, something I have been meaning to do for a very long time. On September 30, 2001 my brother Spencer died. Everyone called him Superman, which is absolutely fitting. Spencer was bright, he had a personality that brought joy to everyone who got to be around him. I was not able to attend his funeral, and I had never been to his grave. For the past two years I have thought about it a lot. Thought about what it would be like to be there. I always imagined I would take some flowers, sit and think about him for a moment, feel peaceful, and then head home. I went to the graveyard yesterday, and I had to search to find where he was. I felt helpless, I wanted to be able to run right there. I found him, number 27, by his grandparents. I was entirely overwhelmed, there he was, Spencer Briggs Pierson. There he was with that brilliant, glowing smile. There was the brother that I wish I knew more about. There was the brother who taught me how to not back wash, and to eat the green m&m's first. There was my Dad's son, his own flesh and blood, gone. There was the reason for why my family members are my best friends. There was the brother who taught me how to love and treasure my family. There was the reason for our closeness. Standing by his grave I was overtaken. I was able to remember every day I spent with Spencer. The days where he would bust out in any impersonation under the sun, the day where he was trying to impress my friend by doing flips on the trampoline, only to his dismay, he lost his pants in the process. There was the brother with that smile. I sat down and talked to him, at first I felt like a crazy person, but then I realized I had too much to tell him to feel insane. I felt as though I had to let him know how amazing he was, all that I have learned from him, how much I love him, and what I have been up to. I wanted to sit there for hours, but now I know that I can go back. I thought I was pulling myself together, when my Dad called, and right there sitting with my Superman, and my Dad, I lost it. There was my Dad, strong as an ox, and here was a weakness. A weakness that is entirely admirable. A weakness that came so unexpectedly it still hurts. Here was my wise, consistent Dad with a cracking voice and tears. I felt so honored to be there with both of them. Honored to know that maybe I have a bit of them in me. That maybe I can carry on a bit of them if need be. This was a special day. A day that caused me to reflect on who it is I want to be and why. A day to notice and appreciate my other siblings. A day to honor Spencer, and his super powers.

My favorite man

2010-05-27T21:47:00.000-07:00

Today is a very special day. It is Gary's birthday. Gary is my Father... he is just the most amazing man in the world. He is sixty, and here are sixty reasons why he is the best:

1.He is one of the most creative people in the entire world.
2.He tells a mean Mikey, Billy, and Freddy story, and he made them up on the spot.
3.His passion for cars is fascinating.
4.He makes the best popcorn in the world.
5.He adores peanut butter.
6.He drinks loads of diet coke. Gross amounts really :)
7.He is absolutely one of the most hard working people I know
8.His appreciation for Friends
9.He participates in kitchen dance parties with me, whenever we feel so inclined.
10.He taught me to be wise.
11.His love for windex and duct tape is also fascinating.
12.He reads People magazine, faithfully.
13.He has loads of little fun facts that no one else would ever dream of knowing I swear...
14.He always draws this one man, and it is just hilarious.
15.He calls all my boyfriends "dweebs".
16.He uses Beazer words like "crik" instead of creek.
17.He loves to be outside, and he taught me to be that too.
18.He learned how to use his cell phone this year when I left him... he programed all the numbers in his new one, all by himself.
19.Everytime I walk in a room he says "do ya know that I love ya?"
20.He gives the best advice in the world.
21.He talks with his hands, and his hands are one of a kind, they are huge!
22.He taught me to appreciate films.
23.He taught me to laugh.
24.He never ever gets mad, never has, and I guess he never will.
25. He makes the best fried egg sandwiches you could ever taste. Seriously, I try to imitate them, but nope, not Gary's.
26.He can name any car in the entire world.
27.He taught me to adore my family with my whole heart.
28.He is entirely encouraging, all the time, and he tells me that I can do whatever I want.
29.I asked him what dinner he wanted me to cook for him for his birthday, I told him he could have anything in the entire world, and he told me he wanted a tuna sandwich with dill pickles. hahaha.
30.When I mow the entire lawn with the blade up, he just laughs.
31.He made me love golden delicious apples, which I am exceptionally grateful for.
32. His hair... lets see it people, truly amazing!
33.He tells the best jokes in the entire world, and watching him tell them is almost as entertaining, if not more.
34.I really think he might be good at everything, he is incredibly well rounded.
35. He lets me pack my work clothes, and my shopping clothes.
36. He loves Wal Mart, but really who doesn't?
37. He honors his priesthood, and has loads of faith, which I so appreciate.
38. He painted my Mom's fingernails on the day of their wedding. That is cute.
39. If he likes a song he tells me it has "funk" and then I notice it is Christina Aguilera and normally I'd die, but it just makes me love him more.
40. He gives me just the greatest phone calls, I drop everything whenever I see it is him calling.
41. He is so grateful it blows my mind.
42. He snores, I can't even sleep he snores so loud, but that is ok too.
43. He once had a dream that we both had eyebrows, it gave us both such hope.
44. He loves to see the world and experience life.
45. He has this laugh that is completely contagious, and I love it.
46. He has beautiful blue eyes.
47. He once called me on May 25th to tell me that it was his birthday. First off, why wouldn't I be the one calling him, and second, his birthday is May 27th.
48. He reads scriptures slow and meaningful, and when I was younger it used to annoy the heck out of me, but now I love it.
49. Did I mention he can sing? Because yes, this man can sing... his voice is beautiful!
50. He named me Spring, he picked it out.
51. He can talk to me for 8 hours straight and it never gets boring for one minute.
52. Ok just his sense of humor in general, I cannot explain it, but it is truly one of a kind people, he is witty, he is hilarious, he's just the best.
53. He writes amazing letters :)
54. Speaking of his writing, he has this printing that is like no one else's. He got it from his Dad, and it is sooo cool.
55. I love to see him hold babies, because it is almost as if they fit in one of his hands.
56. He is the offspring of Ruby Leavitt, who is amazing, and he is amazing, and they are both so alike and just so truly amazing!
57. He is so strong, not only physically of course, but mentally, he is just so solid all the time, he always makes the right choice.
58. He is meticulous. Everything he does is so precise. You should see him paint...
59. He loves things to be clean and orderly, he may even be a bit ocd, wonder who inherited that gene...
60. He is brilliant. Truly.

This man is Gary. He is my Faush. He is amazing. You may think it would be hard to come up with this many things about someone, not for Gary, I could come up with this many everyday, because he truly is this great!

Discovery

2010-05-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

First off, I have a new found love of snow cones. Big whoop. On a more serious note here is what is on my mind today..

Discovery. Isn't it brilliant that we have personalities? No seriously, just stop and think about it for a moment. How refreshing is it to know that we never have to be bored. We truly don't. Think of all the things your hands have touched, and that your eyes have seen. There is always something for us to do. There are amazing things just waiting for us to discover them. There are people living their lives in such quirky ways, that I would swear I found true gold if I stumbled upon them. I am one who has been taught my entire life to never be bored. If when I was younger we said that, it was like a swear word and would be returned with a lengthy list of chores. I thank my parents for that. I had the imagination of a true genius I tell you. I have learned to appreciate the quirks, I don't know if it is because I myself have a billion and one, but it may be. I color code my clothes you know, and then I hang them in order of sleeve length in each color section and I space my hangers an equal amount of space apart. Great. I adore libraries as well. I guess my point here is that I want to encourage people to get out! Get out of your shell, get out of your live video game chat, get out of the unhealthy things. Come to realize the beauty that is everywhere. I promise it is there, and sometimes you have to look for it and that is ok. It is ok to notice the grunge, because that contributes to the world too, but the important part is what is underneath, beside, on top of, or inside the grunge. I was born to love people, it is just what I do. I have a heart that yearns for them. Everyone has these kind of quirks as well. These are things that make them individuals, and thank goodness for that.

Thank heavens there are the bold people in the world that are not afraid to wear a bright purple dress with elbow length, leopard print gloves, and five inch stilettos, for the men who twirl their moustaches, I'm grateful for them too. For the ones who adorn their body in brilliant art that expresses who they are, thank you for them too. For the little girl like my niece Rowan who is gentle and sweet right to the very core. For the compassionate ones who bake casseroles, and for the grumpy old men that trash them and have the most colorful language, we need them here too. For people like my Grandma Ruby, who always have a comeback, and for those like my beautiful friend Sloane who cannot muster one up for the life of her. For people that will help the old lady carry her groceries, and for the elderly willing to graciously accept the help. For the masterminds behind bizarre films like Napoleon Dynamite, and for the ones who made Moulin Rouge too. For love stories that break your heart, and for comedies that are ab workouts in disguise. I am thankful everyday for the random, flighty people, and for the naive ones too I suppose. I'm grateful for those who are not afraid to learn, lose, love, and leap. I'm grateful for kindness and selflessness, two qualities that I admire with everything that is in me. I'm grateful for knowledge, for a working brain, and geniuses like Albert Einstein and Ghandi. Mostly I'm just grateful I suppose.

Grateful for learning experiences as well, for growth even. Last night I even dumped a boy. I don't think I have seriously done that, without just letting it slowly fizzle away, since about eight grade when the love of my life just was not working out. He probably didn't sit by me at an assembly or something, but that is beside the point. I grew from it, naturally my soft, compassionate heart does not do breaking up so well, but I will have you know I let him down easy. I hope? Then I had ice cream for breakfast, and I am not even mad. If Chancho were here I would have slipped some crepes and whipped cream under that ice cream, so I suppose it is good he is where he is at.

So here is another bizarre, all over the place post, and that is ok too.

Wowwww!

2010-05-11T18:09:00.000-07:00

Ok so today my brother, Elder Pierson, wrote me a letter and told me to watch this video. He said "kind of sad, but very cool". I have watched a few of these mormon messages before, and they are always good so I went right to the link. I was blown away. I even cried! This lady is amazing and so is her story!

Here is the link.

Matters of Business, Learning, Age, and what is next

2010-05-08T22:19:00.000-07:00

I guess it is my birthday. What a crazy day, who knew that little seven pound, two ounce baby would turn into who I am today. Birthdays don't do much for me except cause me to pause and reflect, reflect on decisions already made, and those awaiting me. Sure is what I have become, sure of who I am as a person. No longer do I fear admitting my mistakes, my quirks, or my strengths. In nineteen years I have learned a fair share, and I am so beyond excited that there is more for me to learn. It is amazing to look back at the team of who made me who I am.

Of course at the top of that list is my family, each one of them contributing to who I am. There are my parents, who I am eternally grateful for. The people who taught me so much, and who led by example at all times. My Dad who taught me to be independent, to appreciate a good joke, and to have kitchen dance parties. Then my Mom, who taught me to be hard working, and to always tell the truth. There is Brian, who by example taught me to study hard and get good grades. There is his wife Caroline who taught me that it is ok to think I can do anything I want to. She taught me to be adventurous. There is Karen, who taught me most of what I know. She taught me to be a lady, and she is still working on teaching me to stand up for myself. She has shown me what it is to have a best friend, and to be one in return, and she is teaching me how I want to raise my kids one day. There is Bonnie who is also a hard worker, and who is raising a completely darling boy :) There is Brody who has taught me the significance of great wit and to appreciate how hilarious he truly is. There is Dave, who taught me perseverance and hard work. He too taught me to laugh and appreciate such things, as well as to study hard. There is Rob who taught me to be accepting. He has shown me to have a wild side, which is just as important. There is Spencer who has helped me to learn all of these things about these people. Losing him taught me to accept my knowledge and to embrace it, and to treasure these people with all that I have. There is Taylor who... oh dear, the one who I cannot even think about all he has done for me without getting teary eyed. This boy has been consistent, and he continues to be a perfect example. His letters and his emails make my week. He is so strong, and so sure of what he stands for.

Every time I finish a journal I write on the last page kind of a summary; something for those who one day find and read my journals. Last night as I finished up one of these journals and wrote one of these summaries, it got me thinking. Thinking about what I want to leave behind. First off I want to leave behind a lot of love. I want to leave behind generations of strong, bright people. I think the greatest advice that I can give is to just enjoy life, and to be kind along the way. To find something to love every day, and maybe to write it down. To accept change, to embrace it even, and to have a little streak of wild. To laugh until you are in pain, to be honest, and to be wise. To remember that having penny candy for lunch somedays is just fine. To remember that a kitchen dance party does the heart good, and so does nature.

my day of birth

2010-05-08T00:09:00.000-07:00

Today it is my birthday. While I think that is fine and lovely, I'm more the keep my birthday on the down low, have a dinner with my family if they make me kind of birthday girl. Now that I am older and wiser I thought I would write out a few things I have learned along the way...

I have learned that kindness is insanely important.

I have learned that sometimes it is ok to be bold.

I have learned to love and let them love me in return.

I have learned that eating after seven makes me sick.

I have learned that nothing compares to family.

I have learned that my body is its best self when I eat healthy and take care of it.

I have learned that hard work is required and mandatory in my life.

I have learned that my heart is full of love for people.

I have learned to embrace my talents.

I have learned that to remain sane, I must regularly create things and use my hand and imagination.

I have learned to chase after what it is I want.

I have learned what I want out of this world.

I have learned to take care of the Earth.

I have learned to be grateful.

I have learned that I like to clean.

I have learned that I have motherly attributes...oh boy.

I have learned that my testimony is a major part of who I am.

I have learned to sit back and take it all in.

I have learned that racing through life won't do for me, and that if I am behind somedays that is ok.

I have learned to listen to peoples stories, and to realize their worth.

I have learned to have standards.

I have learned that rules are set in place for a reason.

I have learned that at seventeen nothing brought greater joy than breaking those rules.

I have learned that health is important.

I have learned that it doesn't take much to brighten someone's day.

I have learned that somedays it is ok to have penny candy for lunch.

I have learned that I have a lot more to learn.

Lovely Lately

2010-04-27T15:43:00.000-07:00

Here is what is lovely lately...

Kellogs fruit snacks. The red ones.

Target. Is a beautiful place, and it always has been.

sunshine. Creates freckles, and shines brightly, lighting everything up along the way.

silver nail polish. Lovely.

Vancouver. (is ALWAYS lovely)

flip flops. Are illegal on this campus. Are what I wear allllllll the days.

long walks and good talks. Have always been lovely, and one of my very favorite things.

sociology. Is fascinating to me.

Steve Madden loafers. I have brown ones with red accents. They are darling, well I like 'em.

missionariessss. Chancho is one of these, and one of my best friends too. He is wonderous.

bookshelves. I will have loads of these in my house, and I will feel them with colorful books, and chunky books, and ancient books, and ohhhhhh :)

word art. I like to make my own personally.

creativity. Is something that everyone is capable of.

Texans. wait what?

Waterton! Top five places of all time.

summer dresses... I live for them

sewing. who knew I would ever say that after those dreadful pajama pants I attempted to make in 7th grade.

Sonny boy. It is what I eat for breakfast, everyday.

Mothers, it is almost Mothers Day and Mothers are b-r-i-l-l-i-a-n-t.

babies.. don't worry people, other peoples babies!

weddings... same thing. other peoples weddings.

blossoms. A new beginning, just what I like.

warm rain. It may be best if I keep my thoughts and feelings on this one in my head, I don't know that there are the correct words to fully explain my feelings towards warm rain, with him.

walks in the park, the ones I take alone where I just let my mind sink into its deepest of thoughts and worries and I sort them alll out.

picklesss. On top of rice crackers for lunch.

I hope I never run out of love for things so simple and so extravagant. I hope that for the rest of my life I continuously remember how lucky I am, and just how lovely things can be. I hope I learn and I hope I take time to cry it out. I hope I learn to trust myself, and to let myself fall again. I hope that my loved ones know how amazing they are and how lucky I feel to know them.

Flip flops and dresses, sunshine and grins

2010-04-20T21:07:00.001-07:00

I just put on my flip flops and went for a walk in the dark of the night and it was gorgeous. The air is warm, the snow is gone, and I am wearing a dress tomorrow. Seriously nothing makes me grin more than a delightful little dress on a hot day. Ok so maybe a couple things, but it is right up there with ice cream and Europe. My semester started today, so far so good. I guess I should update about my life a bit? Well I went home for semester break, I was home for two days, then to Vancouver, then Calgary, then home and finally back to Rexburg. The break was wonderful, I got to see almost allll of my siblings, which is just the greatest. We went through the Vancouver temple open house, and I was simply in awe. It is beyond lovely and incredible. I am trying to be better with my time this semester. I have a lot of it that can be used for useful things. Things like basking in the joy of a good book in Porter Park, picnics, long walks and good talks, and perhaps a fair amount of studying, and hopefully a lot of photo taking. I already fell off my long board once, so I suppose that is just another piece to the Spring puzzle.

I just loved being at home. I drove home with my very own Father, known these days as Gary, Gman, or Gerald if your trying for a more formal note. I am this mans greatest fan, truly. We talked the whole eight hours home, and I loved every minute of it. He has hilarious stories, amazing stories, great advice, and a whole lot of faith. This man is strong and he is fabulous.

I feel so lucky to get to know people such as this, and even more blessed to hear what they have to say. These people have experienced such great things, and hard things that have made them who they are. I feel as though I should listen to them whenever I get the chance. I have so much to learn, so many to learn it from, and a life time to gain this knowledge. This semester is full of unexpected things that I have zero knowledge of right now. I can hardly wait to see where I go from here.

What Do You Love?

2010-03-28T22:16:00.000-07:00

What makes you smile? What makes you grin? What makes you chuckle? What makes you laugh uncontrollably? What hurts you? What makes you sad? What do you love? Who do you love?

What makes you tick?

Flowers and babies make me smile, and so does a nice color coded closet. Little kids, especially my nieces and nephews make me grin, and so does rain. Peaches do too. I chuckle in relief society almost every week. I love the whole system and how it works. Julia makes me laugh uncontrollably and as mean as it sounds to admit it, so does watching people fall. Not if they get hurt, just if they have a little stumble. I am pretty strong, I try to be. It makes me sad when people are hurt. It makes me hurt when my loved ones are hurt and when I don't make the right choices. I love so many things. The list is literally endless. I love the people that have made me who I am.

I used to be so afraid of being alone. How could I leave myself alone in a room with someone I did not know or like. I am one hundred percent content being alone now. I enjoy it. I love to sit and write, without a care in the world. I am at peace. I crave to be back on the banks of Waterton Lake, becoming increasingly inspired by each crashing wave. This is what inspires me. Nature, and people, their accomplishments and their character.

I am inspired by music. Music and lyrics. People piecing together beautiful things that have potential to light up lives. I am so grateful that I have endless things to learn. This humbles me. I cannot believe how fast time flies by. So many wonderful things are going on in my life, and I cannot wait to see what happens next.

It Is Official.

2010-03-21T18:53:00.000-07:00

No you crazies I'm not engaged or anything. It is officially Spring.

- the season of the year following winter and characterized by the budding of trees, growth of plants, the onset of warmer weather, etc.

For me, Spring means something a little different. For me Spring is one of the greatest things that happens. Being from Canada you would think I would adapt to the freezing weather, and learn to embrace it for what it is. I try, I really do, but I like the warmth. I adore Springtime. Springtime means rain and flowers and sunshine. It means potential and the budding of new things. It means outside time, which is the best kind of time. I love to take walks, dance in the rain, and patiently wait for Summer.

The budding and growth of new things excites me beyond measure. Each Spring something fresh is brought to the table, something to light up my days. I no longer lay in bed tortured by the sight of snow banks, I throw off the covers and wear less layers of clothing. How exciting :)

In recent news, I am two weeks away from being done this semester, and I am ever so excited. I have a pretty great looking semester ahead of me from April until the end of July. I get to take some classes that are a bit more exciting and interesting I believe. I get to spend my days in the park with a book and a picnic and a grin on my face, and just the thought of that is enough to make my day.

I'm going home for semester break. Home to Alberta and then off to Vancouver for a few days which I am thrilled about! Vancouver has got to be one of my favorite places on earth, and hands down one of the most beautiful. I so appreciate the days I get to spend there with my best friend. I may even move there, who knows really.

I got my first two letters from Elder Pierson, and he is more amazing than ever. I am so proud of that boy. Ethan wrote me yesterday too, and he sounds great as well. My days are looking up, my days are full of wonderful things, and I am happy.

It is crazy to look back and see where i was one year ago. Something wonderful had just come into my life about this time last year. Something that would change my days and create my favorite memories thus far. Something that would change my heart and teach me things I did not know. Something that is still around and that is still amazing :)

Julia is moving to Virginia at the end of April, and I am going to miss her every single day. We have the absolute greatest times together, she is beautiful, and so are swedish fish.

I Miss Waterton

2010-03-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

The first official day of Spring is on Saturday, and I could not be more thrilled. I am pulling myself out of my Winter freezing cold slumps and soaking up my everyday. Here are a few reasons why life is exceptional, and a few things I love.

I love Canada, I love the beautiful place where I grew up. I love that Waterton is only an hour and a half away, and I love Waterton so much it aches.

I love my family. Each and every single one of them. I love their quirks, I love their laughs, and I love the times we spend together.

I love sunshine. I love to drive with the sun beaming down on my face, I accidentally love to lay out in the sun without a care in the world, being completely warm. I love to watch sunsets, and sunrises. I love to stay up so late that the sun makes another appearance before I find my bed.

I love running, I love when it is warm enough that I get to hear my feet on the pavement rather than the boring treadmill.

I love learning, I am exceptionally glad that I get to be where I am right now.

I love Urban Outfitters, and perusing online for hours, looking at things I will never actually buy.

I love picnics. I adore them even, everything about them. I love going to a park, I love being with whoever I convinced to come on a picnic. I love the basket and the blanket, and the picnic food, seriously it is just divine.

Life is exceptional because

...soon we can go longboarding.

...I got my first letter from Chanch yesterday.

...I am meeting people from allllllll over the United States and sometimes even parts of Europe.

...There are two girls in my science study group who have the mind of twelve year olds, and they are great.

...Those two girls just learned that you don't take a boy to the third floor of the library to study.

...Yesterday I drank a green shamrock milkshake for St. Patrick's Day.

...Peter used to make us green eggs every year.

...Each and everyday I get to see the classic campus boy and that is wildly amusing.

...I only have two more weeks of this semester

...I live in a country with an abundance of Swedish Fish

...I am currently wearing bright yellow flats. I don't wear yellow unless it is in the accessory department.

...Summer time is not too far away and that means the greatest days ever.

...I customized all the icons on my desktop and yes that is nerdy and yes I am fine with that.

...I am going to Vancouver soon.

...I no longer have to wear multi layers of clothes that make me feel... frumpy?

...It might rain soon, and I adore rain.

...So many more reasons but I'll stop boring you for now :)

Things To Appreciate As of Late

2010-03-13T00:30:00.000-08:00

Life is beautiful because...

Each and everyday I get to witness 3413 couples madly in love...

Julia falls off her chair at least one time a day...

At this education institution you are required to wear their outfits in the gym and boy are they flattering to... no one....

I bought new loafers...

I am going to go for a brilliant morning run soon...

Avatar comes out tomorrow...

I brought my longboard to Rexburg...

I am getting better at drinking loads of water...

Flip flop season is here...

The weather is warmmmm...

My sister is going to have a baby...

My Father is a master with a chain saw...

I recently consumed my body weight in eggies and ketchup chips...

I fell off my longboard yesterday and now I have bruises and scrapes...

Today in the shower I shaved my legs and my scrapes...

I bought strawberries today...

Febreze is only $1.50...

I just painted my toenails bright red...

It is supposed to rain soon and I love rain...

I'll stop now...

Chancho

2010-03-12T08:28:00.000-08:00

This is Chancho. He is my brother. He is one of my very best friends. He is the perfect example. He is kind, and he laughs a lot. He is known to bust out some killer dance moves, but only in the kitchen. He is like my Dad, and he is like my Mom. He is generous beyond all measure. He likes to be adventurous in the kitchen and cook up food that most people would never dream of. He loves to go ebraking. He is loyal. He can sleep for hours and you shouldn't wake him up. He didn't carve his name into the table, that was me. He keeps secrets. He loves me more than almost anyone. He is incredibly strong, both physically and spiritually. He loves his nephews and his nieces a lot. He likes Coldstone just about as much as me. He eats hot sauce on everything. He laughs the hardest at my jokes. He is brilliant. He spends hours on the computer on nerdy websites like "how it works" and I love him for that. He has exceptional taste in music. He encourages others to do good works. He was Batman and I was Robin. He is honest in all his doings. He loves to go to the temple. Architecture intrigues him, and so does engineering. He loves to stay up late and watch movies. He is good at football. He still wakes up early on Christmas because he is the most excited. He loves life. He picks up hitchhikers and gives them rides. He is always serving someone. He has had a job for as long as I can remember, and works hard at whatever job that is. He keeps the sabbath day holy. He used to pay me to clean his room. He likes to read cool books. He is a people person, and has a contagious smile. He is a talented artist. He can sing good too. He can talk me into making him chocolate chip cookies in 2.3 seconds. He is the recipient of most of my baking actually. He is protective in a darling way. He is approachable, and people take advantage of that, and he doesn't judge. He accidentally loves the song "Bossy". He is trusting and he is sincere. He is amazing. He is a missionary. He is going to Mesa, Arizona-spanish speaking. He is going to be phenomenal out there... there are not words for how blessed the people who come into contact with him are going to be. I miss him everyday, but he is in a good place. I love to the moon and back plus thousands more.

Springtime

2010-03-06T13:03:00.000-08:00

Spring is pretending to be here for a few days, and I am happy as a clam. I walked to the library today in a t-shirt and I may shed tears of joy. I loveeeeeee warm weather and everything that comes with it. Things are going to blossom all around I am just sure of it :)

Canada

2010-02-22T17:33:00.000-08:00

Canada is where I went this weekend. Canada is where my home is. Canada is one of the greater loves of my life. It is beautiful and open and glorious and where I came from. It is the place that I was raised and so I will hold dear to my heart forever. I'm so blessed.

Chancho is the reason I went home. Chancho is my brother. Chancho is leaving on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am proud of him. He is exceptionally smart and hard working, and he has an amazing testimony. He has taught me so much, a lot by example, because he seems to always make good choices. He always has, and I look up to him a lot. He is truly one of my best friends, and I loveeeee him. He is spectacular.

Family is who was there. A lot of family. My best friend/sister Karen, and her three kids who I promise you get cuter every single time I see them. It is true people, just when you think it not possible, boom there they are staring at you with their gorgeous eyes and you just melt into a pit of love. My family is a hugeeee deal to me. Each one of them is so unique and so amazing, and then we come together to make this huge, colorful, edgy, soft, unique puzzle. I would not have it any other way. These people are some of my absolute best friends, and they are all so brilliant and wise and hilarious and I just love spending time with them.

Ketchup chips, Big Turks, Eggies, Nibs, Costco trips, home cooked meals, extended family, noise, no sleep, Gary, The Volv, stories, catching up, these are just a few more highlights of the weekend. It was a great one!

Midterms are behind me, and that feels goooood. I'm back in Rexburg now, ready to hit the books hard and hopefully get some A's. Not to get some A you hilarious ones, to get some A's as in the school A+ kind.

Lovely

2010-02-15T12:57:00.000-08:00

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

What a gorgeous poem. I have always loved it. I have always been fascinated by love. I love so many things. I find it easy to love people and nature type things. People that are friends. I am careful with my heart, too careful I guess you could say. I try my hardest to have a pure heart. I find something new to love every day, I'm exceptionally happy with life. I am grateful for what I have learned along the way. I have quirks, a lot of them. I guess my greatest strength and weakness is love.

The people around me are so incredible I sometimes cry due to an overwhelming amount of love. I appreciate the girls that are boy crazy and that find it easy and exciting to give their heart away. I guess I am just not one of these girls. I hold back, I am scared to let people into that part of me. Don't get me wrong, I have experienced levels of love, but they were slow coming, and they were the best days of my life thus far. I have days where I have thrown back my head and sighed because I was so completely overtaken. Overtaken by having someone to share my days with. A phenomenal reason behind my grin and laughter. It is an odd thing to be this type of girl in this type of place. Marriage is running rampant and dating is taking everyone by storm, and I find myself held back. It takes me a long time to recover from love, a long time to muster up the courage to let someone else in. I am not the type of single girl that bashes on Valentine's Day, I find this day completely wonderful. I am intrigued by the idea of an entire nation dedicating a day to celebrating love.

So thank you everyone, for being so lovely. Thanks to my siblings who are all so smart it blows my mind. Thanks for the ways they have led me by example. Thank you to Gary and Peter, the rentals who have put up with all my insane-ness, various things such as driving since I was eight years old, nicknaming them dreadfully awesome names, having friends over until the wee hours of the morning, being way too independent, that one time I carved Taylor's name into the table and blamed it on someone else, and soo many more things that have happened too recently to be funny yet. Thanks to my friends, they have taught me what love is. They are all so unique, some hilarious, some witty, some kind, some bold, some held back, some wise, some pleasantly daft, but all extremely amazing. Thanks for a world that I was taught to love. For the Rocky Mountains which are gorgeous, for the sun which is one of my favorite things, for rain, and clouds and trees, for architecture and art, and for all other forms of astounding beauty.

Strike 2 Which Was In Fact Strike 1

2010-02-09T21:09:00.001-08:00

So a few weeks back I went ahead and against my better judgement went on a date with a boy from one of my classes. The date started very early on in the evening, which is never a good decision when you don't even know the person. The date carried on, and I was so completely not interested, but you always say yes the first time... right? Anywayyys, this one was just pulling out all the moves. This one failed to realize that I just met him not even twenty four hours ago and no I didn't want a back rub and no when I'm laying on the ground laughing with my friends that is not an invitation to spoon me. Not now or ever for that matter. Now I do not mean to come across as negative, because I love nothing more than a date story. I am sure this boy is just perfect for someone, but it just isn't me is all I'm saying :) This was confirmed after he told me that most guys didn't like him because he dressed better then them. So boy leaves my house, and for the next week asks me to hang out every day and I so kindly decline those invitations. Every single one. Boy does not get the hint, he thinks that I am scared of him! So he keeps talking to me and one day shows up to my house when I am off burning holes into the ozone layer. He thought I was hiding in my room! He was convinced I was there and just hiding from him. Needless to say, I avoided him in class, strictly because I did not have much to say.

I thought it was over with now, until tonight I got the best surprise of all. A little chat on Facebook. He wants to hang out with me he says. I don't agree to this right off the bat naturally, because truth be told that may be one of the last things I would like to do besides consume one of my roommates cans of spaghetti and meatballs already prepared in the can. He then informs me that I am intimidated by him, to which I reply "why on earth would I be intimidated of you?" (please note that the following will be direct quotations. I know you will not believe me, but it is true I swear!) boy: " a lot of people are because of the way I dress and carry myself" I then fell off my chair in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Followed by me hauling Julia into my room so she could also have a good chuckle. We died for a couple minutes and then I saw it best to reply, I asked him if he thought that was really true. He informed me that he could see why people thought that but he didn't really think so.... those aren't the exact words, I cannot remember them but you get the point. This made for a veryyy entertaining evening.

Perhaps I shall try to rescue this post from being negative. The truth is, I still think he is a cool person? I'm just not interested in ever spending time with him. This whole situation has just been a great confirmation that humility is one of the most important qualities to me. I myself try so hard to be humble and to have a pure heart, so I really look for that.

In other recent news, this weekend I went home and surprised the heck out of my family. That was a lovely adventure. Peter didn't actually know who I was when I walked through the door, which was a hilariously great moment. Peter is Patt who is Mom for those of you who don't know. I was also able to see some friends and that was really very great as well. All in all it was a wonderful weekend. I even ate home cooked food which made my heart sing a little bit.

You know you are in Idaho when...

2010-02-03T19:14:00.001-08:00

Let me go ahead and share a little story of a Saturday night in Idaho. So my friend is married and lives here now, she texted me and asked what I was doing Saturday and I had no plans, so she set me up on a date with her friends brother-in-law. I am used to the whole getting set up scene by now, this one was even from out of town so it was one of the better ones. Soooo anyways, he calls me, he informs me that we are going to a bonfire and then hot tubbing. This would have seemed really great if it weren't for two things, first, what the heck am I supposed to wear to a bonfire? I don't have bonfire clothes! Second, I despise being in a swim suit almost more than anything in this world. I would not let this get to me though, I threw on some skinny jeans and a really warm coat and he came to pick me up. He had a nice truck at least? We met up with the rest of their friends and the next thing you know I'm heading down a dirt road in a train of seven jacked up hugeee trucks. I begin to worry that I may not exactly fit in with this crowd. In fact the further we drive out in the desert, and the more talk of the huge ___ tires we are going to burn, the extreme confirmation that I may love the Earth a little bit too much for these "folks" sets in. I would have piped up and tried to rescue the atmosphere had it not been for the one boy who told the story of this "stupid hippy" from Oregon that got mad at them for burning tires at the last fire. Honestly lets just try to imagine my thoughts at this point. Mortified.

So we arrive at the place of the fire, out in the desert, and they get the fire going. This involved a large amount of gas, some planks, only that isn't what they are called but I do not know the correct term, and tires. Yes they burned tires, Caroline I can just imagine the look on your face right now, and trust me hwen I say mine had the same reaction. I was cringing. The fire was fine, the boy was actually extremely nice, and he had great eyes. Some people at the fire brought their guns, and they began to shoot propane tanks and ice blocks. At this point everything was just comical to me as I found myself in an entirely new world. So there is another bonfire going on just a hundred yards from ours, where there are people drinking, and in their drunken rampage, the shots being fired had them curious. They came over to see what was up. The first thing out of the kids mouth when he arrives at our fire is J_____ F__ing C____. Oh goodness. That is just what you want to say when arriving to a party of 40+ Mormons. I learn at this point that my date is a military.. something, and he gets his back up and pulls the kid aside and just about gets in a fight. Hmm. They leave in a big huff over the effing Mormons, and we continue on. Everything calms down after that, me and the boy were just chatting it up. He asked me what my interests were, and for some reason I have grown to strongly dislike that question, but it was going fine.

We leave with our friends, us in one truck and them in theirs, and head back down the dirt road. All of a sudden we are stopping, and we learn that as everyone else was leaving the fire, one truck when passing the other bonfire fired shots into the air from their guns. This had the drunks quite furious, and they were chasing after them down the road. It was our job to stop and wait for the others to catch up so no one got killed. Lets pause and just think about what is going on in my head at this point. I think I just REALLY thought it was time for me to go home. Back to a place where gun racks were just an obsolete object from a hilarious scene on quirky "Wayne's World".

So the truck that fired the shots goes by, then here comes some kid running after them with a huge shot gun in hand, my date gets out and exchanges a few more words, and even calms him down a bit. All the other boy said were you know your standard Idaho cuss words, aka the worst mouth I have ever heard I think. He still was not satisfied when my date said he would take care of it, so he jumps in his friends truck and they take off after the other truck. At this point, I was sure this night was going to end in a fatality, I was sincerely praying not mine. We get off the dirt road, and onto the highway, and the next thing you know we are being flagged down and pulled over by another truck, this one had the word Redneck in big letters across the tailgate, so you know when that happens you are surely going to be dealing with a real gem. He yells at us, barely managing to get his words out what with all the alcohol he had just consumed. This is the point where I was sure I was dreaming. Some hideous, hilarious dream. I pinched myself a few times, only to realize to my utter horror that this was actually happening. We finally out run this truck, and we get to the outskirts of town, only to see the truck with the psycho, profaning drunks pulled over by 6 cop cars, cops everywhere with their guns drawn, and the psycho leaning against the hood with his hands above his head. I'm sure you think I'm making this up. This could not have possibly happening, but it did people. It absolutely and truly did.

I felt bad for the poor boy, none of this was his fault, but I cannot lie, I was completely weirded out. So then we went hot tubbing. I am sorry but I just don't adore hot tubbing, I hate being in a swim suit, especially around people I don't know. His family was incredible though. He had the classic completely darling Mom, so that was great. Now there you go. Just another evening in Idaho people. What the heck have I gotten myself into???

02.02.10

2010-02-02T19:24:00.000-08:00

Humility is what is mostly on my mind today. Each month I right out a list of bes. This month I will be... My main focus this month is to be humble. I find it so extremely important to be both humble and grateful. I know that I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams to have what I have. I have experienced wonderful opportunities, and I've seen some pretty incredible things. I need to focus on respecting everything around me.

I am still fascinated by life. My greatest hope is that I'll never run out of awe for this world and the people in it. They are so brilliant. I have the travel bug soooo bad right now. I'm thinking New York is my next destination. I have a feeling that I will adore New York. Some days my dreams consist of me working at some huge company in downtown New York. How heavenly would that be.

Changes are all around me everyday, I'm learning new things about myself, and I'm learning things about other people. I find it greatly important to know where I stand, and to stand in the right places. Independent is something I have always been. I really enjoy people, but I also really enjoy being alone.

Maybe instead of my usual ramblings I should write about some current events in my life. Well it is Winter, Winter means ice, and ice means people falling, and no matter how hard I try to cover it up and avoid it, I cannot control my laughter when this happens. Honestly it is horrible, of course if they are not ok it is not funny, but a young person slipping and then popping right back up is the BEST. Seriously I laugh about it for the next 3 days everytime it happens. Thank heavens I live with Julia who finds great pleasure in seeing how far back she can lean on her chair, which nearly every time results in her collapsed on the floor, and I howl with laughter.

I'm reallyyyy loving being in school. I did not think I would miss it so much, but I truly did. I am taking Humanities, and it is my favorite class hands down. It is fascinating, and really interesting to me. I also enjoy sitting in the cafeteria and people watching. I loveeee the kids with their backpacks pulled up alll the way, sprinting everywhere they go because they think they are late. It is so sad because they fail to realize that classes are every fifteen minutes and it takes about ten to get anywhere, but they are awesome. Then there are the people that yell in the cafeteria. I never understood the yellers, maybe because I am physically not capable of yelling, but who knows. About a quarter of the student body wear the same thing, so that is a touch sad, but just fine :)

I am surrounded by thousands of people that are going to get married in the next year, it is lovely to watch them as well. Ok well this is all I have to sya for now. If anyone even started reading this they are probably asleep now, but just know that I still love rice crackers, peach penguins, and especially Alberta. I miss Waterton everyday. Life is captivating. Be spontaneous.

Realization.

2010-01-30T18:08:00.001-08:00

I have come to realize a large amount of things lately....

I am not a "dater"... I am just not one of those boy crazy, love attention from boys, love going on a million dates kind of girls... I'm really not very good at it and I don't adore it.

I loveeee walking.

I adore people more than ever. Seriously you should meet some of the people I've been meeting. Sooooooo cool!

I enjoy frozen yogurt more than almost anything else.

I cannot go a week without rice crackers. I might start to shake.

Humanities is my favorite class right now, and I adore art in all forms.

American Foundations is just long enough and just boring enough that I am capable of whipping up some pretty sweet creations while letting all the information being relayed to me float right over my head.

Hot chocolate is divine.

I appreciate libraries. They fascinate me even.

I like to get eight hours of sleep.

Nothing brings me greater joy than keeping up with my work and staying focussed.

Salad rocks my socks.

And many more that I will finish later because I'm about to be picked up to go on a date...... lovely.

Foundation

2010-01-22T15:35:00.001-08:00

I truly believe I was born in one of the most beautiful places in the world. The gorgeous sprawling prairies run right up to the feet of the mountains, to a place that is completely dear to my heart. A place I miss when I am gone too long. I was born into a brilliant world, surrounded by amazing people from day one. I'm so grateful for where I come from. I'm grateful for all that I have learned thus far. I'm grateful for the bulletproof summers, and the long Winters that make them even better. I am grateful for every incredible hike I have been on, and for countless trips to Waterton. These places have brought into my life great people. These people have made me who I am. They have helped create experiences so intriguing and beautiful that I cannot go one day without thinking how lucky I am. I so appreciate my family and my roots.

Happy Days and Fun Facts

2010-01-14T19:16:00.000-08:00

This is a very neat book I got for Christmas.

I always wear a flower in my hair.

I'm a huge domestic nerd, and that is just fine. I fell up the stairs today and that is ok too.

craft night with Chancho. Keyboard magnets and tacks

stirrrrr fry.

213 Tuscany

2010-01-05T13:23:00.000-08:00

A fresh start. On Saturday I loaded up the truck, and I moved away for kind of the first time. What an exceptionally odd feeling. A new feeling. Never have I felt so confused and frustrated and nervous. There are new things all around me, and I am loving it. I just attended my first university class, and it was great! The people here are friendly, the campus is relatively easy to conquer, and I have the chance to be whoever I would like. I am going to go ahead and be me. Spring. Just the lame quirky girl I am. I'm going to laugh until I ache, go on adventures to entirely new places, discover amazing things, and I'm going to be undeniably happy along the way. I am going to meet people that will change my life. I'm going to grow, and I am even going to do my homework. My life thus far has been beyond incredible. This new chapter is going to be full of all sorts of days, but those are my days. Days that I will remember for the rest of my life.

2009 in Review

2009-12-31T11:40:00.000-08:00

What a year this has been. Thus far, this year has been one of many changes. New experiences, new feelings, new people, and new situations. I have learned, grown, fallen, had happiness overpower my days, crashed, burned, smiled until my face ached, and I have loved. I have loved being on an earth so incredibly amazing. Loved the people I have spent time with. Loved the strangers holding hands and walking down the street. Loved the amazing potential each day had.

So here I go month to month.

January

Gregg left to go back to school in January. I missed him dearly. This was the month where I experienced stress for the first time. Of course it was my kind of "stress" which lasted all of five minutes and ended in me laughing it off, but changes were surely hitting me this month. I wrote some diplomas, and I think I had just finished applying for schools and it was an odd time for sure. Lorne's birthday was this month, I baked him a cake and we had a tiny little party. I guess I really just was not sure of anything at this point in my life. I was unaware of where I was going to go to school, where I would live, it was a bogged down month, but I got through it due to the fact that I booked plane tickets to California! I was happy as a clam about that! Then Paisley turned 1, and that was also happy. She is completely darling. What a month!

February

February was a beautiful month. I was floating on a cloud, counting down the days until I would soak up the sun on the beaches of California with 3 of my favorite people in the world, not to mention the family that I would meet and love to pieces. Most of these days were spent getting ready for California, and then flying there with Ethan. His first plane ride! The days flew by and we loved being there. I didn't ever want to come home in fact. Some of my happiest days were these. I came home floating on a cloud, and then I remember it all hitting me one day, and I became afraid. I was scared because I knew California would be one of the last big things with two of my very favorite boys. They would be leaving and we wouldn't see much of each other. Of course I still adored life, but I sure was afraid of a few things.

March

I spent most of my days with my brother Taylor in March. This whole year actually, which is probably why it was one of the better ones. He became one of my very best friends, and I loved everyday we got to hang out. This is also one of the main months that my domestic nerd disease set in. I think I just started a million projects to keep me busy and to keep my mind of things, and the next thing you know I am a huge domestic freak and I love it :) People were my main focus this month. I just adore people. Something somewhat terrible happened next, my Grandma Leavitt passed away. This broke my heart a little bit. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, but because of my knowledge of what is going to happen next, it is ok and I am so grateful to have that knowledge and the peace that comes with it. I played the piano at her funeral, that was the first time I have played like that in public and I still get nervous just thinking about it. She is the only reason I was able to do that. Karen flew out for the funeral, so of course it was amazing to be able to spend some time with her and the rest of my amazing family.

April

Who knew this month would change the rest of my existence. It surely did. The month started off with a trip to Utah for a grad dress, conference, and some Greggy boy. All were achieved quite successfully. I found the perfect dress, enjoyed conference immensely, and my mom fell in love with Gregg. Ethan had his birthday this month and so of course we had a little party for him as well. Then I went to Vancouver for a week or so, which naturally was amazing. While out for lunch one day, I got a text from Ethan saying that he had got his call. That was an overwhelming, great day. I came home, and I started hanging out with some other Magrath kids again. I attended a party at Katie Smarts house. That is where my life was changed I believe. I met my peach boy. At first who knew this boy would be the reason for perfection and brilliance in my days.

May

I became an adult in May. I wrote my AP english exam, and I wrote my last theory exam. This month was full of excitement. I really learned who I was this month. For my birthday Katie and the Cardston boys threw me a surprise birthday party! That was a lovely day. Then Gregg, Tycee, Ethan, and I went for dinner the next night. That was of course lovely as well. Then prom came, Tycee and I did my hair, and I did my own makeup. It was fun getting all dressed up, and very odd knowing that the end was so near. I then got a job in Waterton, and spent most of my days with the Magrath girls/ Cardston boys mixture. There grad happened next, it was fun to see them all dressed up. A major change was happening this month. I was perhaps falling for something new when only one thing had been on my mind for the last year and a half. This was a scary month, but at the same time it was extremely exciting and refreshing.

June

Greggy boy left this month and my whole world was thrown around a bit. The week after he left is all a blur, but I just remember it included a lot of tears, and not a lot of makeup, and no socializing. He came up to Waterton with Ethan and Lorne the weekend before he left, so it was great to be able to spend some time with them. I spent my weekends in Waterton working this month, and I just began to fall in love with the mountains. I took a lot of tests this month, said a lot of goodbyes, put some things behind me, graduated, and then started something entirely new. Karen came again this month, for my graduation and the first of July which of course was amazing. June 26th was the day. I got dressed and ready for commencement, I believe it was while I was getting ready that I learned I had something to look forward to. My first date with the peach boy. I ran out of commencement, got dressed, into a plain white v neck t and some jeans, and it was literally as I was flying out the door that I decided to change my shirt. I had to meet him at the theater since I was running a bit late. I found him leaning against the wall looking completely gorgeous in his plain white v neck t and some jeans. Relief was what overpowered me at that moment. Well relief and a full set of nerves. This day was just a sneak peak for the best days of my life thus far. The one that followed the movies was also epic, but we won't go there :)

July

How do I even begin to describe July? Heavenly? Incredible? Fabulous? Completely and utterly amazing? Plus more. The best moments of my life thus far. The best days. The best one. I fell. Entirely, tripped and stumbled and fell. A certain something caught me. Not only off guard, but in the best sense possible. Days that were long and nights that were too short. A new lame girl sprouted, and I just learned to embrace the lame and love it. All sorts of firsts were happening for me. Ethan left on his mission, and that was hard. Everything else was so close to perfect it made me giddy.

August

This was another bulletproof whirlwind amazing month. He became one of my best friends, and I looked forward to every single second I could spend with him. This was new for me. Sharing is too, but I guess the truth is he taught me all sorts of things. He taught me to let myself fall so he could catch me. My smile was almost permanent. I'd never missed anyone like this before. I'd never let someone in like this before. This month was incredible, spent in the mountains, a place I have learned to love entirely. Soon this month of bliss was coming to an end, and other firsts crept in. I found myself saying goodbye and I lost myself for a while there. A new change about me, a change I didn't like. I'd just spent months learning and growing and being his and here I was all by myself. Back to the mountains I went, where the changes swept me under and I found myself a crying rock. Tears flowed like they never have before and I guess something inside of me broke, leaving a space I still don't want to fill with anything else.

September

I spent this month in the mountains alone. I wanted to be by myself this month. Sharing is hard for me, especially things that are so dear. I learned a lot this month. I became more independent than ever before. A trip to Utah made my heart sing. I spent a lot of time with my family, and a lot of time on the shores of Waterton Lake, piecing together my life and figuring it out. I really lost it for the first time this month. My rock kept me company, and absorbed a lot of those big salty tears.

October

October was another hard, but good month. I went to Vancouver again this month, for Grayson's baptism. I'm so proud of that boy it blows my mind. The day he was born changed my life forever. I moved home from Waterton this month, and that felt pretty good. All the alone time was making me a touch more loopy than usual. It was in October that I decided I would go to school in January, a decision I am quite grateful for. Thanksgiving was lovely, reminding me of the many splendid things I am grateful for. I am just absolutely blessed!

November

November was lovely due to the fact that American Thanksgiving came around and so did something else :) What a lovely treat. I found ways to keep myself busy all month. I started subbing at the school, and I really enjoyed doing that. I hung out with Taylor still everyday, and that is just the best! I was reminded of how beautiful life truly is this month.

December

What a grand month. December contained a lot of family, which is a very great thing. I came to realize quite a lot this month. I know who I want to be. I know what I want in this world. I'm sure glad about that. Also a certain something may have been in attendance for some Christmas holiday cheer, which once again lit my world completely on fire all over again. How lucky I am.

2009 was completely fabulous. I'm so entirely grateful for my experiences and for my life.

13

2009-12-20T17:51:00.001-08:00

13 more days and I am out of here. What an insane feeling. I'm slowly but surely filing through my childhood, throwing away loads of memories no longer crucial to my life, and packing up the ones that are treasured too much to part with. I have been completely taken off guard. I'm always independent, I tend to have a feeling phobia, and I pretend to be strong when I'm in my weakest moments. I do not know what to expect, and while I find that completely rejuvenating, the small town girl in me screams for me to look out. I know I am going to have a blast. My life is starting and I choose to be whoever I would like. I could wear glasses and high waisted pants and loafers if I truly wanted, or maybe loads of plaid mixed with stripes and polka dots, all at the same time. As tempting as the patterns are, I have chosen. I have chosen to be Spring, and I think I'll just stick to my regular self. Skinny jeans and all. I am sometimes a bit slow, out of it, sometimes even a complete air head, sometimes blonde, sometimes witty, but I'm content with that. I am still going to wear flats in the winter and be emotionally inept, but the most important thing is that I'm going to love what I do. I can hardly wait to start my life, to see the wonder I know I can in this world. I imagine myself hearing peoples stories, new ones, and I grin. I grin because there are so many new things to see. I grin because I'm still going to love chicken soup broth and I'm still going to have a big huge heart. A heart full of love for the natural brilliance that is this world.

My "Bucket List"

2009-12-11T13:25:00.000-08:00

Lately I've just been thinking a lot about where I want to go in life and what I want to see. Being spontaneous and adventurous is extremely important to me, so is learning and loving. So here are a few things that I would like to accomplish in this life, in no particular order...

1. Write at least one book and have it published. Maybe even a best seller?
2. Visit Rome
3. Tour London
4. Do some humanitarian work
5. get married in the temple
6. raise a family
7. build a home
8. visit Thailand
9. Visit Africa
10. master photography
11. attend a professional baseball game
12. run in a long distance race (we won't put an exact distance just yet)
13. learn to play the guitar
14. learn at least one other language
15. attend university
16. scuba dive
17. order room service
18. visit New York and stand in the middle of all the madness completely still and soak it all in
19. inspire someone
20. support my Dad's car obsession
21. live in a foreign country
22. serve at least one person every single day
23. respect others
24. be kind
25. teach my kids to be hard working, amazing, successful people
26. crochet a hat
27. learn to surf
28. increase my knowledge of nutrition
29. create a charity
30. master driving a standard
31. get a 6 pack
32. attend a drive in movie
33. cook for a huge group of people
34. eat gelato in Italy
35. go to Greece
36. dance in the street in the pouring rain with the one I love
37. find something beautiful about life everyday
38. design some clothing
39. make sure my kids feel loved constantly
40. buy a professional camera
41. shop on rodeo drive
42. be an extra in a movie
43. learn a new word everyday
44. be encouraging

Some of these are seemingly small tasks, but ones I have not yet accomplished. I have been fortunate enough to accomplish a lot of things I never would, and a lot of things I always wanted to. I have traveled a bit, learned a lot, felt ridiculous amounts of joy and sadness, and been perfectly and perpetually happy. I want to be remembered as smart, kind, and spontaneous. I want my kids to have an incredible love of life, and I want my husband and I to be best friends eternally. So I will keep adding to this list, experiencing the joys and sorrows that are thrown my way, being positively sure of who I am.